Sightings are provided by readers. Send yours to tips@gawker.com

· They'll go out the way they came in: through the backdoor. Bravo's homo crew begins to crack from the pressure — and the poverty. [NY Post]
· New Man Show host Joe Rogan claims fellow comics Robin Williams and Denis Leary steal jokes. Given recent work, the alleged thieves should ask for their money back. [NY Post]
· Dave Matthews hears voices, but no longer drops acid. Here's a worthwhile flash mob for ya: Everyone bring psychedelic sparkly things to trigger trippy Dave's flashbacks at tomorrow's Central Park show. [NY Daily News]

Attitude forecast: Irony and ironic detachment will have a 60% chance of being in fashion late tomorrow afternoon, with sarcasm and jadedness in full effect sometime around midnight Wednesday. For today, though, the kids at Black Table forecast sincerity and give irony a harsh grade of D-.

Some items of great importance from the last 24 hours:
· ESPN tardily discovers this fascinating new term "metrosexual," produces handy-dandy quiz for its self-hating readers. [ESPN]
· Celebities complain about the media: Jennifer Lopez blames press spotlight for the cancellation of her wedding. Also, Gray Davis gets more LA Times ink than Arnold, grouses the dim bodybuilder. Odd. Perhaps it's because Mr. Davis is the Governor of the state, you steroid-damaged freak? [Washington Post]
· A state bill might make smoking in cars illegal. How then are Long Island commuters supposed to enjoy their after-work Coors Lites? [NY Post]

Sightings are provided by readers. Send yours to tips@gawker.com

A frustrated Manhattan renter writes to the Middle East for some assistance: "When are you gonna stop messing around and blow something else up in New York? Not that I'm not very fond of the mighty Apple, but the rent is fucking criminal. Us not wealthy folks need a little leveling of the real estate playing field, and nothing says 'leveling' like a little C4. You know what I'm talking about, you live in some big shitty crater in the dessert, you must get upset when you watch Sex in the City."
Open Letter To Al Queda [Dong Resin]

· 27 fans have lost consciousness or begun vomiting during readings of an as-yet unpublished Chuck Palahniuk story. Chuckles is now the literary equivalent of South Park's brown sound, that particular frequency that makes the world crap its pants. [NY Mag]
· Chloe Sevigny seems to think her buddy Vincent Gallo is in need of an intervention. Really? Because he wanders the globe purveying home movies of himself getting head, or because he stopped bathing and shaving sometime in the late 90s? [NY Post]
· "A celebrity feud is one of the most tasteless, trite, trivial things somebody in my position can engage in," says Quentin Tarantino in this item on his recent pot and ecstasy party-thon all over China. [NY Daily News]
· Shocking news: celebs earn big bucks for product placements. That must explain why John Ritter was buried with a Fresca in one hand and a Viagra in the other. (Let the hate mail begin anew!) [TV Guide]

Sightings are provided by readers. Send yours to tips@gawker.com.

· Stare open-mouthed at Dave Eggers' paintings of oral surgery at Plus Ultra Gallery.
· Hear Dave Eggers talk with ZZ Packer live at the Bowery Ballroom.
· Eat at Dave Eggers' McSweeney's Cuban Cafe. Har har.
· Whenever possible be seen pretending to read a book by Dave Eggers.

· Gucci's Tom Ford allegedly dumped by long-time lover; spends summer designing crueler, more bitter shoes. [Look Online]
· Paris Hilton takes up shiatsu, experimentally "massaging" the "left buttock" of "actor" Jamie Kennedy at a nightclub. What can't she do? [NY Daily News]
· Trucker hats go so far past uncool they get second life as doubly-ironic fashion statements... in Los Angeles. Snicker. [NY Post]
· Cusack makes a move on Hawke-less Thurman. Christ, will the lesbian chic madness ever end? [People News]

A reader stalks at lunchtime: "Failed internet entrepreneur Michael Wolff and failed Talk magazine entrepreneur Ron Galotti, lunching at Michael's. It's noon. Does Harvey Weinstein know where his children are??"

Add Your Own is Manhattan's new restaurant guide. It's the Thunderdome of review sites; New Yorkers battle each other to the death to group-edit the one review allowed per location.
Add Your Own [Lockhart Steele]
Add Your Own [Add Your Own]

A group of enterprising New York City gay fellas have come up with a fantabulous new idea; getting straight guys to pay them for lifestyle makeovers. Who'd a thunk it? Actually, the truly novel idea here is doing real-life versions of reality shows — bringing the reality back to reality, as it were. I'm sure many of you will be re-enacting episodes of Elimidate this weekend in a similar postmodern endeavor. Anyway. This terrifying Craigslist ad screams:

· John Ritter's psychic warned him to get heart surgery before Labor Day, shortly before Ritter died of an undiagnosed heart ailment. Why pay Miss Cleo if you're going to ignore her? That shit is 99 cents a minute, yo. [Cindy Adams]
· James Gandolfini bellyflops into the dipsomaniacal deep end. [NY Daily News]
· E's Ted Casablanca tries to launch the new Bennifer, dubbing "Carrison" the union of Calista Flockhart and Harrison "Stoney McPot" Ford. [E!]
· Pottymouth Gwyneth Paltrow calls Affleck a "knucklehead." Careful Gwyn: words hit hard as a fist. [Another Mag]
· Finally, not so much gossip but fulfillment of our favorite obsession, a reader writes in that "the Condé Nast cafeteria is selling Chanel cookies today: interlocking Cs covered with pink icing and silver sugar balls." Mmm, delicious.

· Sly newcomers The Information play at Luxx.
· Mr. Jonathan Ames, the last of the real comics, headlines an evening at KGB Bar.
· Greenwich gal Anne Hall opens a show of photography at Jen Bekman.

It's official, kids. We were stunned to hear tonight that former, yes, former Gawker editor Elizabeth Spiers has taken a permanent position at New York Magazine. Really, we had no idea this was coming.

Just last week, porn theaters became legit again in Manhattan. This week, L.A.'s City Council voted that strippers must remain six feet away from strip club customers at all times, and banned "private dancing," the bread and butter of strip clubs. While we're jealous of L.A.'s sensible new six-foot no-fly zone around professional poledancers Tara Reid and Paris Hilton, we can't help but gloat. It's nice to have official proof that L.A. sucks — and evidently not at all in the good way.
L.A. bans lap-dancing at strip clubs [Salon]

· Get free beer at Jonathan Lethem's book-release party for the relentlessly hyped Fortress of Solitude at St. Ann's.
· Enjoy feel-good irony-free 80s refugees Tom Tom Club at Southpaw.
· Skip dinner, score tickets to tomorrow's Roland Mouret show.

· Ben Affleck's new film, "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past," begins casting. J-Lo and Matt Damon currently negotiating salaries. [Film Jerk]
· Mick Jagger on the legend of the 60-year-old rocking horse: "It is a fact that the adventure playground behind the zip of my trousers has myth status on the groupie scene." [NY Daily News]
· Paris Hilton gives advice to sister Nicky in October's issue of Seventeen: Nobody wants the beaten-up Prada purse on Canal Street. Everyone wants the brand-new colorful Louis Vuitton one that no one can get. Guys don t want the girl who s been around the block. We're giving away a very nice handbag to the reader who can guess which particular block it is that Paris still hasn't been around. [Jeannette Walls]
· Colin Farrell asks "Who's your daddy?" in a whole new way. [People News]

Gawker Stalker tips are provided by readers. Send yours to tips@gawker.com