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· It's hard to stay on the cutting edge of hipsterdom. "The Prez and Mrs. Bush just watched Sofia Coppola's Lost In Translation," claims Cindy Adams. God, I thought everyone knew that Sofia is so three minutes ago? The President is so totally lame. [Cindy Adams]
· Miramax's Bob Weinstein had a medieval shopping spree this weekend: he bought his own tower in CPW's glamorous Beresford, two hundred goats, a dozen vats of boiling oil, and a village of serfs to grow his food and bear his children. [NY mag]

In our final installment on Vice magazine today, a letter — and a confession — from co-founder McInnes on the story of Vice, the media, and the very nature of identity as we understand it. (I know one Canadian magazine founder who's been brushing up on his Kierkegaard!) Oh and also? He sent us a picture of himself in a speedo. It's at the end of the letter.

In their story on Vice Magazine yesterday, the Times evidently mis-reported Vice co-founder Gavin McInnes' tattoo (we'll check the corrections column tomorrow) [Ed. Note: Evidently I should have put sarcasm tags around this statement. This was intended as an example of ludicrosity; of course the Times reporter did no such mis-reporting. Oy gevalt, people.] As Gavin today reported on another website: "The tattoo doesn't just say 'destruction' it says 'destruction creates.' That's written across a massive jellyfish that is holding two people in its tentacles: Chiang Kai Shek and Fidel Castro. Those were two immigrants that came into a country, wiped out the previous cultures and started new, prosperous ones. I also have a machine gun on my arm that says 'arm your desires' in Arabic. The days of the West are numbered and I will be the impetus that destroys it. I am turning America inside out from the outside in. Soon George Bush will be in the tentacles hands and a new creed will take over. DESTRUCTION CREATES!"

Business Sucks Sale [Meccapixel]

It's gossip-boy Lloyd Grove's first day in print at his new home, the NY Daily News. Mr. Grove previously penned the "Reliable Sources" column for the Washington Post. Some notes from us regarding his first day on the job:
· His first item: President Bush's uncle likes fart jokes. Now, this is not a tidbit that you will find in any of the other papers, and there is a very good reason for that: it suuuuuuuuucks.
· Second item: rap mogul Russell Simmons freaks out on Nike CEO over staff poaching. Hmm. Yeah, okay, but the super-tense Simmons goes off on someone every day, no matter how much time he spends at Jivamukti doing yoga.
· Third item: something about California. I glazed over.
· Fourth item: Dishy item about MTV chairman movin' on up.
· Fifth item: Involves Kevin Bacon and Dave Matthews. It's beneath me to summarize it.
· Sixth item: Yes! The kind of story we adore, involving the real celebrities of New York. New York Mag's Michael Specter and Vanity Fair's (and previously Brian McNally's) Anne McNally are allegedly having a hot licentious affair. Tell us more!

Katherine Hepburn's townhouse is listed on Halstead.com; four floors, garden, in Turtle Bay Gardens. Asking price: just shy of $5 million.
E. 49th Street Townhouse [Halstead]

Mailbox Statistics:
The number of emails that said Gawker "went too far": 1.
The number of emails that offered Gawker free beer: 2.
The number of readers who correctly think that Gawker's Editor is an idiot for not coining the phrase "Durstberry" for the union of Fred Durst and Halle Berry: 2.

I wish we'd thought up Talk Like Bill O'Reilly Day. Blogger Atrios has been mimicking the conservative talk show host admirably all day:

It doesn't look like any of us are going to make it through this week alive.
George Plimpton, Author, Dies at 76 [NYT]

Assemble a hundred thousand sex-deprived post-teens in Central Park, add crappy music, and what do you get? The wreckage of a million sorority girls unable to tap frat ass, thus burdening all of us with Craigslist Missed Connections galore.

The recent deaths of John Ritter and Robert Palmer take Sartre's dictum to a new level: in hell, hell now certainly is other people.
Rock Singer Robert Palmer Dies of Heart Attack [The Day]

The retard convention known as PETA is coming back to town. Evidently, two years and two weeks after September 11th, 2001, is the appropriately respectful amount of time before returning to drenching New Yorkers in blood.

· We are horrified that Fred Durst may be in love with Halle Berry. Frelle? Haed? Durry? Berrst? There's no way gossip columnists can combine those two names; gossip king Richard Johnson must forbid that they mate... [NY Post]
· ...Unlike, of course, that other hot new multiracial unit Nenny. Licole. Whatever. [NY Daily News]
· "Chef" Rocco DiSpirito gets a helping ambisexual hand at Friendster; his hot new "bi-curious" profile should get him lots of action. [NY Post]

Today New York's Museum of Modern Art copped to having privately sold off a Francis Bacon painting and, more surprisingly, a Picasso landscape.

This Soho House member is so peeved she might never actually be re-gruntled: "[Soho House] emailed all their members yesterday saying sorry that that the "private club area" (read: their excuse for a restaurant and bar) would be unavailable the ENTIRE day and night due to a private something or other for Dave Matthews. But don't worry you can still use the "library." And then "we apologize for the inconvenience." So let me see, all members of the Soho House crammed into the poorly designed excuse for a library? The place blows and the concept of having some private oasis away from the seething masses is overriden; for the highest bidder they will tell all their members to go fuck themselves. I can now only hope that a toilet fell on Dave, just to rebalance the karma he sucked from our city."

· David Geffen becomes the first person in Hollywood to say "I finally have enough money." His magic number? 3.8 billion. (Hey, that's my magic number too!) Now he'll give away all his Dreamworks profits to charity. Aww. [Daily News]
· Soderbergh and Clooney can't find the actual K Street with both hands and an intern. [NY Post]
· Totally indecent blind item regarding Jamie Kennedy getting some room service from Paris Hilton. Oh yeah: allegedly. [E!]

· The Licole sightings escalate; "good friends" Kidman and Kravitz pal around at Gregory Hines funeral. Funerals are the new hot place for budding loves, we hear; eros, thanatos, etc. [NY Daily News]
· Calvin Klein buddy Christopher Makos emerges from crypt, is seen on an actual bicycle in Provincetown. [NY Post]
· Sources say semi-autobiographical auteur Sofia Coppola's new project is "about an egomaniacal artiste who's basically a no-talent hack." Some speculate the subject may be her ex Spike Jonze, but we think that self-hatred has never sounded so commercially profitable. Anyway: "no-talent hack" doesn't really narrow it down in this town, eh? [Village Voice]

Blogger Meg Hourihan is actually totally serious about her plans to ticket New Yorkers wearing jeans in hideous unforgivable ways. She writes: "What I need to do is make a ticket design, complete with NYC Jeans Police logo, then post the .pdf to my site and let people download and print it so they can start issuing citations. Then I realized I will never do this because I have no talent for that sort of thing and no time. Can you put the Gawker hordes to work?"

Stalker Extreme: Combining the best of extreme sports and reality television, this Stalker Extreme entry has four random celebrity sightings in 47.5 hours. Let the competition begin!
· "On Mon 22 Sept at 2 pm I saw ALAN DERSHOWITZ looking at prints at Christie's, then at at 6 pm I saw Coldplay star CHRIS MARTIN dining with GWYNETH PALTROW at Mary's Fish Camp (W 4th / Charles). On Sat 20 Sept, at 2.30 pm I saw Queer as Folk actor RANDY HARRISON at Matthew Marks Gallery W 22nd and at 10.30 pm saw ETHAN HAWKE on 23rd/7th heading into the Chelsea Hotel."