A group of enterprising New York City gay fellas have come up with a fantabulous new idea; getting straight guys to pay them for lifestyle makeovers. Who'd a thunk it? Actually, the truly novel idea here is doing real-life versions of reality shows — bringing the reality back to reality, as it were. I'm sure many of you will be re-enacting episodes of Elimidate this weekend in a similar postmodern endeavor. Anyway. This terrifying Craigslist ad screams:

"A GROUP OF TALENTED, INTERIOR DESIGNER, FASHION MOGUL, ART HISTORIAN AND COOK....! WOULD LOVE TO TREAT YOU LIKE THE REAL TV SHOW AND SHOW YOU THE GOOD THINGS IN LIFE , WITH OUT WATING FOR BRAVO TO REVIEW YOUR PROFILE. IF YOU ARE A STRAIGHT GUY (WITH CASH) THAT WOULD LOVE TO LEARN AND GET YOUR APARTMENT RE-DONE. EMAIL ME WITH PICS AND A SMALL BIO. ABOUT YOURSELF."

But really. What kind of straight guy is going to read this (radically illiterate) ad on Craigslist and think, "Yes! I must invite this unknown troupe of homos over to my ghetto Bushwick apartment and pay them to fag me up!" We understand why guys sign up for the real Queer Eye: for some unknown reason, everyone, it seems, wants to be on TV. But we advise heterosexuals to think twice about hiring these imitators; we think this ad has the stench of an underground homosexual kidney-harvesting ring, for sure.
Queer Eyes for Straight Guys [Craigslist]