It's gossip-boy Lloyd Grove's first day in print at his new home, the NY Daily News. Mr. Grove previously penned the "Reliable Sources" column for the Washington Post. Some notes from us regarding his first day on the job:
· His first item: President Bush's uncle likes fart jokes. Now, this is not a tidbit that you will find in any of the other papers, and there is a very good reason for that: it suuuuuuuuucks.
· Second item: rap mogul Russell Simmons freaks out on Nike CEO over staff poaching. Hmm. Yeah, okay, but the super-tense Simmons goes off on someone every day, no matter how much time he spends at Jivamukti doing yoga.
· Third item: something about California. I glazed over.
· Fourth item: Dishy item about MTV chairman movin' on up.
· Fifth item: Involves Kevin Bacon and Dave Matthews. It's beneath me to summarize it.
· Sixth item: Yes! The kind of story we adore, involving the real celebrities of New York. New York Mag's Michael Specter and Vanity Fair's (and previously Brian McNally's) Anne McNally are allegedly having a hot licentious affair. Tell us more!

Our final advice to Mr. Grove: put your thang down, flip it and reverse it. The first shall be last, and the last shall be first. You've got the right stuff, but your priorities are askew. Welcome to New York, and always remember: Kevin Bacon is gossip column death.
Lloyd Grove Lowdown [NY Daily News]