· Michael Jackson Song Titles That Will Conveniently Double as His Prison Bitch Name [Bunsen]
· Jennifer Egan, author of really quite long Sunday Times Mag internet dating piece, on Friendster.
· Uma Thurman on the purpose of the Tibetan House benefit: "It s saving Tibetan art for a time when the Tibetans have some place to put it, like a country."
· Neverland Defense Mounted: Jackson Strikes Back. Rubba... I am your father. [Fox News]
· Gwyneth Paltrow is waiting for a proposal from boyfriend Chris Martin of Coldplay. The little multi-tasker is also waiting for a success in the film industry. [BBC News]
· Elizabeth Taylor suddenly snaps to attention. "I thought the law was 'innocent until proven guilty.' I know he is innocent and I hope they all eat crow," she howls about her friend Michael. [NY Daily News]
· Britney Spears on scoring Madonna: "Honestly, there s like some sort of energy thing between us. She s like my godmother. I had this idea, like, I really like my new single and I said like, you know what, do you think Madonna would join me? And my people, they were, like, come on, Britney, you know. So I just said to her, maybe this is crazy, but would it be OK, like, and she said: 'Yes.' And I thought: 'Ohmigod, Madonna s on my song, right!'" [The Scoop (last item)]
· Actress Kellie Waymire meets Jonathan Brandis, which is our new euphemism for "sadly passes away out of the public eye." Waymire was a guest star on Ally McBeal, Friends, and... Six Feet Under. [AP/CNN]
· "I felt like I wasn't fitting in at my own magazine," said Atoosa Rubenstein, new editor of Seventeen. "The old hair said, 'Hi, I'm a quirky, wacky girl, and I don't care what anybody thinks.' The new hair said, 'I have work to do.'" Luckily, the Times provides before and after pictures. [NY Times]
· A dark moment of media self-love: Lloyd Grove reports on Liz Smith's naughty lip-lock with Andrea Marcovici. Are there any women in America who haven't made out yet for a PR stunt? Yes, I'm looking at you, Joyce DeWitt. [NY Daily News]
· Michael Jackson has a secret children's bedroom attached to his own. Jackson is "greatly outraged" by the criminal charges, says lawyer Geragos. [NY Daily News]
· Michael Jackson, bailed out by a mobster? "Lies run sprints but the truth runs marathons," says Jackson's statement regarding the allegations of misconduct with a minor. [Fox 411]
· David Letterman desperately wants to interview Paris Hilton. "We all know it's not your fault... it'll be a love fest," he announced on last night's show. Hilton, who reportedly is canceling all promotions for her upcoming reality show, has instead scheduled appearances at Hogs & Heifers for body shots and roofies. [NY Post]
· Who's seen the Paris Hilton sex tape? Dominick Dunne, check. "These girls have had PR reps since they were 12... it's unbelievable," he says. Carson Daly, check. "I was a little disappointed" with the lighting and phone ringing, he says. A nervous P. Diddy and Sting deny all knowledge, which can only believe us to imagine... eww! I hope there's a bag over Sting's head in that video. [NY Daily News]
· Paris Hilton, who recently had her cell phone number passed all around the internet, was spotted at an ATT Wireless store on Beverly Boulevard. Guess she realized the constant ringing wasn't in her head. [NY Post]
Sightings are provided by readers just like you! Send yours to tips@gawker.com
· Paris Hilton, while en route from Australia to the U.S., tells Us Weekly she can't watch her own sex tape — she can't even go outside. "I don't want to party. This has really made me think about changes I want to make," she said. By hour 14 of the flight Ms. Hilton was reportedly shirtless before the passenger's cameras, "raising the roof" with some new glamor-stewardess pals. "You my girls!" Hilton reportedly shouted, toppling drunkenly out of an overhead compartment. [NY Daily News]
· Liza Minnelli and Elizabeth Taylor, both idols of Michael Jackson, are so far mum on the criminal charges against him. Of course they, like Flava Flav, have problems of their own. [Scoop]
· Networks and cable TV throw themselves into production for specials about the Michael Jackson scandal. Diane Dimond, who at A Hard Affair or Current Copy or whatever ten years ago was desperate for Jackson's head, is back after a long decade of obscurity. Her role at Court TV: to make the King of Pop into the King of Peds. [Variety]
· The Daily News takes this time to remind us that "child molesters fall below rapists" in prison. That's weird, they're much more popular than rapists on the outside. [NY Daily News]
· Thongs snapping out of fashion? Praise be. Speculation rampant that granny panties are the next phase of hip underwear. [NY Daily News]
· At the end of a chock-full corrections page, The New York Times has a nice Editors' Note retraction about identical twins and the removal of their testicles. [via Slate]
· Professional homo Carson Kressley signs a column/TV deal with the Great Media Satan, Us Weekly.
· Masstige: do not ever ever ever use this word. [via MegaStyles]
· Clinton, in more evidence that he can't say no, signs to be model for Chinese clothing brand. While in Asia, he will meet a much younger, also-married woman, have a tortured, depressing, and well-cinematographed affair, and return home feeling as if he'd spent a few days in a Radiohead music video. [Ananova] [via Village Voice]
· Martha Stewart proves to be still on edge from the infamous salad incident from the CBS Early Show when a reporter asked her about the trial instead of Christmas decorating. "You don't have to be a Jane what's-her-name," Martha snapped, chucking her knife ten feet across the studio into the heart of a sad artichoke. [Page Six]
· Playboy offers Britney Spears at least a million dollars to pose nude. Frat houses across the country pool their money, figuring they can just pay Brit Brit to come over and strip in person. [Scoop]
· Takes one to know one? Henry Blodget, stock analyst formerly embroiled in an investment scandal, has been hired by Slate to report on Martha Stewart's trial. [Reuters/NY Times]
I know, I know: two Friendster items in one day. Since "two" has always equalled "trend" at Gawker, I think it's safe to say that Friendster is back with a vengeance. Yeah, sure. Tell a friend, while I stifle this yawn.
· Britney Spears exclaims "I'm seriously speechless right now" upon being the 2,242nd performer awarded with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Naturally, the honor comes concurrent with her new song about masturbation, released today. [Reuters]
· Sharon Osbourne forced MTV to cut crowd booing daughter Kelly for insulting Christina Aguilera. Xtina herself is evidently the new reformer of the entertainment industry; she calls the Britney-Madonna kiss "fake and superficial, like the entire event." Wha? Shit, the secret is out. [NY Daily News]
· Madonna meets privately with Democratic presidential candidate Wesley Clark to discuss the political aspects of sex, public relations, pushing the envelope, and getting old. [Scoop]
· Guitarist Dave Navarro and non-actress Carmen Electra are the subject of the latest d-list celebrity reality show on MTV. The show, "'Til Death Do Us Part," will document their wedding until we ourselves yearn for the cool embrace of death. [Billboard/MSNBC]
· Pamela Anderson to launch "The Pamela Collection" of jeans, tops, jewelry, lingerie, and fragrance. "I can't wait for it to come out so I can get the clothes for myself and my friends," she says, kind of missing the point. [AP/ABC News]
·Rosie O'Donnell may drop close to $20 million on her Broadway flop, 'Taboo,' while only a quarter of the seats are filled... with friends of the cast. [NY Post]
Gawker Stalker sightings are submitted by readers. Send yours to tips@gawker.com.
· Paris Hilton requested a bar incident involving "local guys" not be included in The Simple Life, her new reality show. She didn't want to embarrass her parents. Heh. More importantly, the Post refers to Paris' "amateur porn tapes" without even the use of allegedly. Good evidence! [NY Post]
· Parker Posey interviews boyfriend Ryan Adams for Interview and it may have led to hot interview sex — recorded on tape. "I would guess that it happens at least once in every issue," says Ingrid Sischy hilariously. OMG. It's the Parker Posey Sex Tapes! I would pay $2.00 or possibly even $2.25 to hear that. [NY Daily News]
· New book claims advisers control Tom Cruise's every move, both professionally and personally. I'm writing a book that says he should fire them and get some new ones. [NY Post]
· New Queer Eye franchise dubbed "Gal Pals" will set five gay men to "make-better" straight women. I'm starting to get confused as to who's what and what that's supposed to mean anymore. [Television Week]
· Gossip gal Jeannette Walls gets all Marxist, mocks Mariah Carey and her 350 pairs of shoes, an eight vehicle entourage, and the presidential suite on her Shanghai tour. [MSNBC]
How did their fame-osity fare this week?
↑ Paris Hilton: Her naughty bits are certainly more famous. Some suggest the sex tape release is a planned PR stunt; some are horrified at the exploitative nature of her exposure, some want her just to go away. Yet others won't be satisfied until tapes of her colonoscopy are publicly released. Different strokes, ya know. Fleshbot has compiled a helpful review of our class trip to Paris.
↑ Rosie O'Donnell and Boy George: the uber dyke-tyke/fag-hag couple survive Broadway, Centre Street, and every avenue in between.
↑ Simon Rex: the alleged star of the alleged Paris Hilton Threeway Tape allegedly gets his name in the papers.
""One day I decide to call him. "Hi, is that Vincent?" (Long silence.) "No, this is Vincent's brother." Strange. It sure sounds like Vincent. "Is Vincent there?" "No. This - is - Vincent's - brother," he says, enunciating each word as if uttering them causes him physical pain. "And Vincent's brother says leave Vincent alone!""
Jacques Peretti on shooting Vincent Gallo [Guardian]
We don't usually care about such journalistic things as equal time here at Gawker — if this was journalism, would it be on the internet? Anyway, media critic and New York editor Simon Dumenco has emailed us:
