• Nick Lachey cancels the party for his new reality show (who knew he had one?!) due to "marital issues." You don't say. [Page Six]
• Jonathan Cheban will do just about anything to protect his business partner, Lizzie Grubman, even if it means censoring the unsavory references out of their client's new book. [R&M (3rd item)]
• Guests of Elton John are told not to speak to him unless first spoken to. And so a once-beloved star's descent into faggy madness continues. [Scoop]
• Novelist Terry McMillan files for divorce from her husband Jonathan Plummer — their romance being the inspiration for McMillan's How Stella Got Her Groove Back. Strangely enough, the coverage doesn't mention the fact that Plummer's gay or that McMillan reacted with a "homophobic vengeance." [Page Six]

Sightings are sent in by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

For your inquisitive pleasure, today's blind items are a bit more challenging than the usual Lohan-ready tidbits. In fact, they're downright insidery, and insidery always makes us hot:

So late in the day Thursday we post a tip we fully expect is just a rumor: that the Letterman show is busy calling judges around town, to have one on hand for that night's taping in case guest Tom Cruise wants to marry Katie on the show. When the Late Show airs, it turns out, much to our amazement, that we were right.

In the land of take-out and 24-hour delivery, finding someone who can't even cook a can of soup is like shooting fish in a barrel. So the producers behind Martha Stewart's post-incarceration talk show, Martha, should have no problem finding culinary derelicts for Martha to transform into husband-pleasing kitchen wunderkinds. According to Jossip, self-flagellating fools simply need to send in a tape of their burnt toast in order to qualify for Martha's public humiliation.

• Nationally renowned psychiatry expert Dr. Tom Cruise goes on Today show, having clearly forgotten to take his own meds.
• Time's guerrilla marketing continues to fail to impress.
• Hipsters head north; yuppies head further north.
• Kathy Hilton's reality show debuts, sucks.
• It was the gayest week ever at Gawker. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
• Of course celebrities are special. Even your brain cells think so.
• There's nothing wrong with Maxim. Other than everything that was wrong with it in the first place.
• Find New York ATM-emptyingly expensive? Turns out there are 12 cities even worse.
• Chicago Tribune publishes list of country's 50 best magazines, reminding you why you don't pay attention to Midwesterners in the first place.
• And how would we have made it through the week without Lindsay Lohan?

• It was only a matter of time before we were faced with Katie Holmes' faux resume. Precious, indeed. [Hatch]
• Boldface Campbell Robertson on Winona Ryder: "We found her charming and heartfelt and unpretentious. But boy could she talk... The moon waxed and waned. Our tape recorder needed a smoking break." [NYT]
• Henry Kissinger doesn't appreciate it when the Post doesn't get his dog's name right. [Howard Sherman via Amy's NY Notebook]
• We all know blogs equal book deals; now it's time to tailor your site to hungry publishers. [Blagg Blogg]
• Dude, Arianna, what the fuck? [HuffPo]

But the (probably unfounded) rumor is still sufficiently delicious for us to pass on.

• How dare Tom Cruise come to New York — of all places — and suggest that our brains aren't chemically imbalanced? [Young Manhattanite]
• We told you it's not easy being a summer associate. [Anonymous Lawyer]
• The mag beauty-department hierarchy, from assistant ("salary roughly equivalent to a janitor in Iowa") to beauty director at Vogue ("more powerful than God, attitude to match"). [Jolie in NYC]
• How will you score? The Metrosexual or Gay Vague Quiz! [two-twenty]

• "Rize," the documentary on LA street-dancing (yes, you read about it just last week in the New York Times magazine!) from fashion photographer David LaChapelle, opens today. [flavorpill]
• Sometimes we really have to get the synapses firing on all cylinders to come up with materiel. Sometimes the jokes write themselves. Alan Cumming appearing at Sephora in Union Square to sign bottles of "Cumming," his new fragrance, is clearly an example of the latter. [WUNYC]
Saturday:
• Yes, Fathers Day came and went, but you probably forgot and didn't get your old man anything. Make up for it with a homemade gift (dads love that shit) from the first annual Renegade Craft Fair in Brooklyn. [Renegade]
• The New Pornographers, Stars, and the Sadies celebrate Mounties, shitty weather, and a massive national inferiority complex at the Prospect Park Canada Day celebration. [flavorpill]
Sunday:
• 250,000 rambunctious gays wind their way down 5th Avenue for the 36th Annual Gay PRIDE March. Like you dare to miss it.

It's not easy being a summer associate at one of New York's fancy corporate law firms. Sure, you get paid a lot of money. And, yes, there are all sorts of parties and events for you. And, granted, you're taken out for fancy lunches nearly every day. But sometimes things can be tough — sometimes, you have to chip in for those lunches.

In a case of life imitating Cinemax comes word of a Manhattan hotel employee ("Max") who brings a Bose iPod station to a guest's room, only to find two naked women pracing about. Naturally, we're dying to know in which property the following (if true) went down:

• Tom and Katie (need we identify them anymore?) skip the after-party for the War of the Worlds premiere, presumably for some last minute auditing. [Fox411]
• As long as we're on the subject — and when aren't we? — tell us why, again, Scientology is a tax-exempt religion? Katie Holmes' accountant probably wants to know. [Page Six]
• Porn stars Ron Jeremy and Tabitha Stevens are claiming they made a sex video in Howard Stern's studio after-hours. This doesn't surprise us. What does, however, is that Stern isn't happy about it. [R&M (2nd item)]
• Rich people still hate fireworks, perhaps because the entertainment's color palette conflicts with their new St. John's jacket. [Page Six]

You thought it was over. You thought you could stop paying attention. You thought that, finally, the unholy alliance of Sheldon Silver and Joe Bruno had forced the mayor and the Jets to recognize that nobody wants a football stadium plunked in the middle of Manhattan. But you were wrong. And you should have known better. Because horror-movie villains — and what is the West Side Stadium if not a freakish mutant, determined to slay us all? — never die on the first try.

No, Tom and Katie didn't get married on Letterman last night. But — and we're as shocked about this as you are — we weren't wrong that the Late Show staff was judge-shopping yesterday afternoon.

Because the MTA doesn't have other things to worry about, the agency is working on a list of new rules that violators will be fined for breaking, like a new prohibition on propping your feet on a seat.

With Katie Holmes supportively sitting nearby, today's Today show forced poor Matt Lauer to sit down for a taped interview with Tom Cruise, more of which will air on Monday. But we can't imagine Monday will get much better than today's segment; as Lauer put it, things "got a little tense" when Tom was asked about his anti-psychiatric views:

After a fifty-year absence from American markets, De Beers, the world's largest diamond company, has landed its blingy whoreship in the middle of Fifth Avenue. The company's first store in the U.S. was not met without protest, however. Members of Survival International (along with Gloria Steinem) picketed the opening; the group insists that Gana and Gwi bushmen of Botswana have been evicted directly because of diamond mining. Amidst shouts of "cultural genocide," however, celebrities still came out to celebrate the arrival of new, sparkly things:

• It looks like you'll soon be able to buy the morning-after pill over the counter, giving your fuck buddies yet another reason to bitch about wearing a condom. [Salon]
• Oh, we're sorry, did you not want to move out of your home to make way for a new strip mall? Tough, 'cause the Supreme Court ain't hearing it. [CNN]
• After 11 years of soft-core porn, E! has finally bid adieu to the Howard Stern Show. [HuffPo]
• Times review of The Aristocrats fails to retell the dirty joke, making the whole thing worthless. Pussies. [NYT]
• Oh, Gavin McInnes. Why, man? Just stick to Vice, please. [VDARE]
• Wooing in the age of new media. [Verbose Coma]
• "Chloe Sevigny rehearses her big scene for The Brown Bunny". [goldenfiddle.com]

We have no idea if this is true — in fact, when we checked with our friend clerking in the Southern District, she hadn't heard anything about it — but, still, it's too juicy to pass up: