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In the land of take-out and 24-hour delivery, finding someone who can't even cook a can of soup is like shooting fish in a barrel. So the producers behind Martha Stewart's post-incarceration talk show, Martha, should have no problem finding culinary derelicts for Martha to transform into husband-pleasing kitchen wunderkinds. According to Jossip, self-flagellating fools simply need to send in a tape of their burnt toast in order to qualify for Martha's public humiliation.

Interested in shaming your way to culinary talent? After the jump, the full memo.*

*Please note that we've omitted all details regarding the part where Martha shoving a fruitcake up your talentless ass.

CALLING ALL LOUSY COOKS!

Are you or someone you know clueless in the kitchen? Do you burn even the basics or are you the king or queen of take-out?

If so, [name redacted] is looking for you to be a guest on Martha Stewart's new nationally syndicated talk show "Martha" as she searches for the "Worst Cooks in America" and helps transform culinary catastrophes into marvelous meal makers.

To nominate yourself or a friend, send a short CREATIVE video tape (no more than 3 minutes) showing us your failed attempts at cooking and letting us hear from your friends and family.

Please send entries to:
Worst Cooks in America Contest
"Martha"
MSLO Productions, Inc.
P.O. Box 1942
New York, NY 10116

Or email: WorstCooks@Yahoo.Com

NOTE: All tapes submitted become property of "MARTHA" and will NOT be returned. By submitting the tape, you agree to let "MARTHA" use the tape in any media, including on-air and online. No professional performers please.