Newspaper manqué, The New York Post, has seen the light. After chronicling every fluctuation in Terri Schiavo's situation—both medical and political—the paper of non-record has decided they've had ENOUGH:

We totally misunderestimated Liz Smith. She's not an over-the-hill, air-kissing virtual publicist for celebrities: she's a sly media prankster, a wickedly clever manipulator of credulous journalists.

Good work, New York Post: You successfully juxtaposed a nearly week-old photo of Madonna and Guy Ritchie in religious garb with another scare photo of Michael "The New Boogie Man" Jackson.

Well, the editor's name is 'Healy.'

'Tis the season for revivification, and so the Times summons Post gossip relic Liz Smith from her cryogenic chamber to comment on the changing face of gossip:

From today's New York Post:

Sure, it was a hack idea, but there's some small glory in being the first hack to hack it out.

From today's Cindy Adams column:

The New York Post works itself into a predictable lather over The New York Daily News' $100,000 Scratch-N-Match mistake.

Hey, New York Post: We have limited headline space, too, but c'mon. This never would've happened under Dawn's watch.

Hey, ladies: someone at The New York Post is trying to tell you something, and we think it has to do with spending more time in the kitchen.

How lucky The New York Post must feel today that the boy at the center of the Michael Jackson trial speaks in perfect screaming tabloid headlines:

Apparently the Post didn't have as much trouble watching the Fat Actress pilot as we did. In fact, they've found Kirstie Alley to be worthy of only the best in their team coverage:

Page Six reports that fellow Post roustabout Bridget Harrison (who's like their version of New York mag's dating columnist Amy Sohn, minus the sweatpants) has sold a book full of "tips and tales which were too juicy to be printed in a family news paper." Gosh, what sort of gems might Harrison have in store? Some possible ideas:

Who's that rakish young New Yorker with the tousled hair and the watch worth more than our parents' house sitting in the Oval Office talking with the president? Why, it's none other than New York Post publisher Lachlan Murdoch, this week's heir apparent to his father's vast News, Corporation. (Sorry, Jimmy!)

The war-torn Filene s Basement in Union Square is holding a disturbingly titled event called The Running of the Brides, in which brides-to-be will descend upon the Union Square location to find the perfect wedding dress at rock bottom prices. But because there s likely to be more than a little bloodshed at said event, the Post is offering one lucky lady the chance to beat the rush and have first dibs on the selection.

Our favorite New York Post columnist Andrea Peyser is in Santa Maria, covering the Michael Jackson trial. Reading her first dispatch, we found ourselves wondering, Does Andrea Peyser think Michael Jackson is sort of girly man?

Hunter S. Thompson definitely would've wanted it this way: The New York Post has some suggestions for honoring the great writer's memory:

What's worse: having your face (and pulkes!) in the Post next to the headline CASINO GALS' FAT CHANCE, or The Times reporting that you've "grown too beefy," and that you're a little "heavy around the midsection"?

· The Post gets "edgy" and "alternative" for its latest acknowledgment of gay culture, in which a female reporter puts on her lesbian costume and fails to get any action. [NYP]
· Finally, a Home & Garden article every New Yorker can relate to: decorating extra-large spaces. [NYT]
· Vogue Italia does a fashion spread on Hollywood "style," and we're rather certain it's the only time you'll see Meisel imitating Star. [FashionSpot via]
· NYC has filed an application to trademark the phrase, "The World's Second Home" as its new motto. The rationale is presumably that "Big Apples" still count as carbs, and carbs are evil. [AP]
· Breaking: models, fashionistas like to read about themselves! [Business 2.0]
· Scissor Sisters' bassist Babydaddy on being the Celebrity Bear of the Week: "I show MY bear pride through paw-print fashion and a lack of proper hygiene." [Thought Not]