You all think you're so smart with your BugMeNot and your fancy non-immediately-expiring cookies, but we're not the only ones having problems with the Post:

Surely you haven't forgotten: After a few days of glitches, errors, and general server diarrhea, the Post did its best to require all users to register for its online service, thus asking that we all fork over some personal (and probably false) personal info in order to receive a super-fantastic login and password. The whole thing would have been only marginally irritating, had the registration process not been a three-day detour into fuck-uppery.

Today's rejected Post headlines:

Thus this item, where the fun is in the URL:

TAB TERROR COMES TO AN END!

And sometimes, that's all you need.
(Yeah, we know you can read the sports without registering. But really, after seeing that story, would you want to?)
UPDATE: Our login is intermittently working! We briefly got into Page Six but, upon logging out to test the system, were unable to log back in. DEVELOPING...

It's funny how you spend your whole damn day trying to register for the Post's online edition — after all, you don't put this much effort into far more significant activities, like toilet training your cat. Nevertheless, the Post is your kitty litter of choice, and you'll be damned if your shitbox isn't lined just how you like it!

Congrats to Megan Bradley, our first reader to confirm that she did indeed successfully register with Col Allan's Selective Service! Megan, go get your bleaching kit, because we're flagging down Rupert.

LOCAL TAB WEBSITE FRIGHT!

Big Brother has been watching you for eons, but today marks the beginning of some next-level shit, if you will. This morning, the New York Post online has started forcing its users to fork over their email, income bracket, and secret passwords.

Page Six Goes Blog? According to the King of the Gossip Monkeys, Richard Johnson:

Be afraid. Be very afraid. The Post is taking names:

Cindy Adams offers up another ridonkulous rant, this time on Spring and the sudden proliferation of faux boobies. Thanks for the mammaries, Cind! (man, that one never gets old, does it?)

Earlier this week, FishbowlNY reported on the Post's strange little system where employee instant messages are monitored by a Big Brother-style program, kicking users off for words such as "vaginal."

The metal plate in Gawker's collective head is buzzing about Post weekend gossip monkey, Elisa Lipsky-Karasz, who's rumored to be leaving her weekend column in favor of the safe confines of Women's Wear Daily. We hear she's heading over to the Eye column, where she and Jacob Bernstein will play with lip gloss all day and decorate the Scoop column with pretty hearts and flowers.

From Linda Stasi's column in today's New York Post:

The New York Observer catches up with Dawn Eden in 'Off the Record':

Today's Post has a simple message: Diets don't work, but costly and dangerous gastric bypass surgery sure does.

Holy cow, that Peter Jennings hed is inappropriate. Or is it just us?

Looks like Rupert Murdoch is playing a big fat April Fool's joke on us all, because right now Dick Cheney is having lunch on the third floor of the Post's offices with editor Col Allen. In the spirit of our sister, we assume the pair are dining on only the finest, freshest babies.