Our favorite New York Post columnist Andrea Peyser is in Santa Maria, covering the Michael Jackson trial. Reading her first dispatch, we found ourselves wondering, Does Andrea Peyser think Michael Jackson is sort of girly man?

Naw, probably not. Then again, her remarkably subtle writing has just the slightest hint (a soupçon, if you will) of subtext. Perhaps we should annotate the following, just in case you miss her nearly subliminal point:

Hey Jacko! I couldn't resist asking Michael Jackson. How are ya doing?

"Good!" he sang back in that girlish falsetto.

[...]

So Miko! I had to know. What's with the clothes? Why are you wearing that bright red arm band on your right biceps, as if you're mourning the destruction of The Gates?

Jacko twirled on his heel like a ballerina to face me, and replied in that coquettish voice Shirley Temple plus Paris Hilton: "Fashion!" he explained gaily, before a court officer threatened me to back off.

She neglected to mention if Jackson was wearing loafers and whether or not he was particularly light in them.

STILL PUTTING ON A SHOW - A DISGUSTING ONE [NYP]