Thanks to a smart reader, now we know. Freundefreude: That's what it's called when you have a big celebrity catfight in the media but continue to tipple cocktails at Tina Brown's house. Spread the word.

· Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston to bring peace to the Middle East. Or perhaps this is Aniston's "Friends" spin-off reality show?
· 2004 Whitney Biennial list announced.
· NYC pinpointing cell phone dead zones.

Canarsie Signage [Satan's Laundromat]

· Woody Allen turns up his nose at measly $2.5 million book offer, refuses to tell his sordid story of marrying daughter-sister Soon Yi. Thank you Lord. [NY Mag]
· Carrie Fisher's back — undoubtedly for less than $2.5, though let's hear about the film rights — with a novel seemingly entirely composed of Hollywood blind items. The first sentence of the book: "Suzanne Vale had a problem, and it was the one she least liked thinking about: She'd had a child with someone who forgot to tell her he was gay." All eyes turn towards Fisher's ex, CAA's sultry Bryan Lourd. Let the games begin. [NY Daily News]
· Employees of Joe Francis, Mr. "Girls Gone Wild" and alleged former paramour of Paris Hilton and Shannon Doherty, say that he isn't coughing up the money for lawyers after they were arrested on racketeering and other charges. Francis says in his defense that "I put up a million somolies in bail" for them, which makes us wonder what jail accepts payment in residents of a war-torn African nation. [Page Six]

· Cheap Londoner raises funds to move to New York by selling crap. [MeBay]
· Hipster bashing cartoon. [Chris Bishop]
· NYC organic vegetable buying clubs. [NYT]

I've had my crack team of researchers on The Case of The Beaten Hipsters all morning (okay, I Googled a little and checked the news), but I'm coming up with zilch. It seems Craigslisters are foaming at the mouth over an alleged series of beatings of chops-and-trucker-hat-sporting hipsters in Williamsburg. The first report:

After the Times Vows section basically calls New York mag's spicy lifestyle columnist Amy Sohn a ho, it allows her new groom to describe himself as one.

↑ Tina Brown: Debuts Washington Post column, overshares her life on Trio.

Unfortunately, we almost but didn't quite lose an L-train full of Williamsburg punters this morning. Had the L train been tragedized today, the repercussions would surely be felt for decades to come. Deep in the heart of Williamsburg, blogger Dana and hundreds of young Corrections-reading 20-somethings nearly died:

Gawker is looking to take on an intern or two. The qualified applicant will be: hungry, ambitious, bitchy, potty-mouthed, and have a degree in mixology. S/he must have strong familiarity with Gawker's favorite topics, enjoy at least developing-nation level computer access and the mad skillz to go with it, have some nose for research (online, "in real life," and by interview), and crack my shit up on a regular basis. There may be a small stipend; there will be public mockery.

Old Automated Kiddie Rides, Bodega Storefronts Brooklyn [Rion]

· Page Six provides us with a Zen koan I know I'll be trying to answer all day: "What could be more glamorous than Joan Collins wrapped in sable sitting in a restaurant at the first table?" [NY Post]
· Cindy Adams reports that Denis Leary and other celebrities have joined Tom Cruise's cause to build Scientology-based "detox" centers for 9/11 rescue workers. Cruise has been bankrolling a popular center for NYC firemen for the last year, says Cult News. [Cindy Adams]
· Candace Bushnell, our generation's Margaret Sanger, has a new job — spokeswoman for Seasonale, the hip edgy downtown birth control pill. As if Sex and the City wasn't argument enough for birth control. [NY Daily News]

NYU's been a little tense since the suicide quotient has drastically risen these last few weeks. They should consider my John Hughes-esque high school's suicide prevention program — mandatory viewing of Ordinary People. Seriously, we were forced to watch the story of a Family In Crisis After An Attempted Teen Suicide every semester. Made me want to kill myself.

Cinecultist is collected sub-par celebrity sightings — E.R.'s Gloria Reuben, Sascha Radetsky from Center Stage, Drea de Matteo (sub-par?), and Jane Adams from Todd Solondz's Happiness, for instance. The problem with these quasi-celebs, she says, is that she watches "so much television, reads so many magazines and sees so many movies that often these people look like someone who's an acquaintance. Where do we know that person from?"

Gawker Stalker sightings are submitted by readers. Send yours here.

This particular sighting deserves its very own entry. Hell, it deserves a shrine. If during my tenure as editor of Gawker I have brought nothing to the world other than the opportunity to publish this item, I will be absolutely satisfied. One very blessed reader writes:

A number of readers have written in to say that they are stumped by today's blind items on the Post's Page Six. So we're giving a few answers (and asking for better ones):

· Now that Meg Ryan's gotten divorced and become a ho, Courtney Love is obviously America's sweetheart of choice. The little blonde cutie has some choice words about her recent experience with forced psychiatric observation. According to the Daily News, she says, "I got jackbooted. My mouth was taped shut. They put a Ping-Pong ball in my mouth. And, honey, you don't get to say you're sorry for that, because it wasn't in bed." Ah, words to live by. Ms. Love then escaped from the nut hut, broke into a house of teenagers, and got a ride home from some guy she met in a guitar store. Makes you yearn for good old-fashioned clean celebrities like Margot Kidder and Ann Heche, don't it? [NY Daily News]
· The Post has some story about some rich kid whose Dad is a governor or something. I wasn't paying attention, because I don't believe a word they write. Yesterday they said that Jann Wenner hosted a party for Men's Health, when actually it was for Men's Journal, and the day before that they put Ellen Levine at Ladies' Home Journal instead of Good Housekeeping. I am firing all of their copy editors.

No post-season will ruin Jason Binn's Star-Studded Engagement Party tonight. According to a tipster, "Jason Binns office is calling invitees of his engagement party to let them know that television monitors will be plentiful so that you can watch the Yankee's game." But will there be beer and nachos?

Report from Conde Nast: "Coming into work this morning there were about 4 or 5 trailers, a tour bus and security people outside the Conde Nast building (in front of the 42nd street entrance). When I got in the lobby there were some women talking to the cnp security about where the shots would be taken in the lobby."