Eight Democratic candidates rolled up their sleeves and undid their top buttons in a mass seduction of young voters up in Boston last night. And the kids were all like totally wicked stoked to participate, dude! Q. Like, do you have gay friends? Text message incoming: Would u reinst8 the draft? CNN moderator Anderson Cooper, Cooper Anderson, whichever it is, uh... The Coop spent most of the night running neck-and-neck in a Henny Youngman competition with upcoming SNL host Al Sharpton.

· Low Culture asks: When did Vice become the new Brill's Content?
· In praise of literary alcoholics. [via Arts & Letters]
· TV's "Ed" serves up some revenge, seven years later.

· Paris and Nicky: wouldn't shut up at the Sydney premiere of "Matrix: Revolutions." [NY Post]
· Children's Rights Halloween benefit (with Hilton sisters on the committee) goes horribly awry when costumed spazzes were forced to wait outside for hours without benefit of cocktails or ecstasy. [NY Daily News]

Never let it be said that we can't take great technology and bend it to the tackiest purpose possible. Turns out there's a very interesting side effect of placing ads on Google.

Blogger Ms. Smitten gets to the subtext of what all those non-New Yorkers are really saying when they complain about Manhattan prices and extoll the virtues of the Midwest. She writes these words to live by:

· Gus van Sant's Elephant: Life is a video game.
· The New York Post suggests a fun game: "Flip through the pages of Us Weekly and In Touch, and see if you can tell the difference. We didn't think so."
· P. Diddy: "Yo, you got some fucked up feet!"

· P.Diddy finishes marathon in 11,359th place. "Twenty-six miles is not a publicity stunt," he said, followed by "No, no, no, no, no" when asked if he would run another marathon. Maybe just one more: trying to outrun Amnesty International. [ NY Daily News]
· Pam Anderson runs over partygoers on Lexington Avenue Friday night, generating increased sales of the Post and Mercedes SUVs. Oh wait, flip it: that was Lizzie as Pam for Halloween. [Fox 411 ]
· Celebrity catfights: stars hold grudges, trade insults, and spread nasty rumors about their rivals. This is news? [NY Daily News ]
· Martha, in between feeding her 100 chickens, 50 canaries, and 101 Dalmatians, chats with Barbara on Friday's 20/20. No tears, surprisingly, given that her daughter dated Sam Waksal. [ NY Post ]
· Ballerinagirlm away message: i'm like In rehab LOL kthxbi! Now that Nicole Richie has no access to AIM, her smack will undoubtedly have to be purchased old-school — via cell phones and bonded delivery men. [ Intelligencer ]
· Sitcom "Coupling" is canned; NBC says sex is better with Brits. [ NY Post ]

Terrible, terrible news: Gawker, the expensive hobby of eccentric playboy publisher Nick Denton, is now officially played out.

How did famous people and things fare this week? Who got more famous, less famous, or kept it even?

· Queer Eyes: Not being replaced, as per rumors.
· Jessica Simpson IQ test.
· Second edition of LA Innuendo is out. [via Low Culture]
· An anecdotal guide to good and bad Halloween costumes.

The ladies of The Black Table get together for a spooky Halloween roundup on death. Writer Lynn Harris is pretty clear on a large number of ways she doesn't want to die: "With my eyelids pinned open being forced to watch Eyes Wide Shut, starved in a glass box dangling over the Thames, in the car wreck that is Jessica Simpson, wearing cargo pants with pumps (fashion victim), before the next season of the Sopranos, drowning in deadlines, knowing I'd voted for Arnold..."
These Ladies Don't Fear the Reaper [Black Table]

Look, I think it's the funniest joke in the world too, but remember: there are only so many times you can say "Yikes, what the hell are you supposed to be?" to the non-costume-wearing girls in the office today.

Gawker Stalker sightings are submitted by readers. Send yours here.

As Elizabeth Spiers used to always mutter into her Dramamine and tonic when she was the editor of Gawker, explaining a joke immediately renders it not funny. No problem here; most of my jokes aren't funny to begin with.

· 'Staggering Genius' cracks up Harvard students.
· Journalism panel: "Gossip is so powerful some might say it has overtaken legitimate news in America."
· Dinner at Tina and Harry's.

· She Loves NY's sushi edition.
· Anonymous screed on the "god-awful state of New York Magazine."
· David Cross invents video games. [via Lindsayism]
· Katie Couric, journalist extraordinaire, to interview Jayson Blair.

· On a Bloomberg LP panel recently, Kate Spade CEO Andy Spade showed himself to be with the times by declaring that Tommy Hilfiger is soulless; funnyman and product-pusher Simon Doonan showed himself to be a mere six months behind the times with his assertion that "people with mullets are having more fun." Where, in prison? NY Post]
· Michael Musto on the (aborted) plan to have Jayson Blair review Shattered Glass: "It would probably jump-start an awful trend Polanski reviewing Mystic River? Tom Cruise critiquing Elf?" [Village Voice]
· Rapper Nelly — wait, I'm sorry, but which one of these things is not like the other: Ol' Dirty Bastard. Busta Rhymes. Nelly? Anyway, Mr. Nelly had $1.2 million dollars worth of crap stolen from his Vegas hotel room. No word yet on from whom mincing little thug Nelly had originally stolen the missing items. [NY Daily News]

· Tyco CEO wife's tacky over-the-top birthday party video.
· Halloween approaches: How to carve a pumpkin.
· "Features" listed by real estate people to be wary of.

During the Giuliani era, the cabdrivers got organized for better pay, and now cabbies never give you the whole printout of receipts, just the one from your ride. And you just know there's all these tempting 18 dollar cab ride receipts from Upper East Side therapists going home to TriBeCa just being thrown away. Selfish bastards.

Alert: the new term Freundefreude, the hot new word meaning "I piss on you on talk radio to make headlines but I airkiss you and ask about your adopted Paraguayan twins at Michael Eisner's house when I'm forced to be on the Other Coast because I need to retain whatever little power in the media industry that I have" has been replaced. The new term is: Schmoozenfreude. Please make a note of it.