· Maybe we need to redirect our ire: while Brad Pitt was likely smitten with Angelina Jolie, he allegedly made some moves on model April Florio. (Florio claims she rebuffed him but, like, is any woman capable of such strength?) At this point, we're just looking for someone to clearly blame for this mess. [R&M]
· Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore take their uncomfortable romance on a Mexican vacation; paparazzi follow in hopes of a shotgun wedding. [Page Six]
· Foxy Brown calls Lowdown to clear up the allegation that P. Diddy dissed her after the Zac Posen show. Do you think Lloyd took the call himself, or did he pass the buck to houseboy staffer Hud Morgan? [Lowdown]
· Jessica Simpson heads to court over a contract dispute regarding a fitness video she was scheduled to make; more importantly, Scoop writer Jeanette Walls toes the line by calling Simpson "faux-ditzy." [Scoop]

Is there anything more heartwarming than the glow of two trashed newlyweds on their $2000/night honeymoon? We think not. Thanks to the forthcoming US Weekly, we can witness love in its purest form: Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's Fiji honeymoon, sponsored by Charles Shaw, Forever 21, and Camel Lights.

DailyCandy

Don't you think the Javits Center should be called the Gawker Center? Hell yeah, it should. And Madison Square Garden? More like Jessica Square Garden. Ah, if New York real estate were as spineless as that of Boston, our dreams could be a reality. Via the art of eBay and under the guise of charity, Delaware North Company has auctioned seven single days of naming rights to their FleetCenter property, home to Boston's professional sports teams and their alcoholic fans. Sadly, we got in on this a little too late; if we had just scraped together enough pennies, the Celtics could've been playing at the OlsenCenter. While internet gambling site Golden Palace reportedly paid a hefty 5 figures, online humor heap Fark scored a day of naming rights for a mere $2550. And although it doesn't sound as potentially awesome as FuckCenter, we suppose FarkCenter is a close second.

We told you that "billboards are becoming LA's dominant mode of self-expression." Says a reader:

Just to clear up any misconceptions you may have, let's set the record straight. Republicans and/or Texans do like modern art, so long as it's very private modern art:

· Wanna hear bloggers muse in person on past sordid sexcapades? Probably not—there's a reason they sit behind computers all day long. If that's not too much of a deterrent, check out the Spawn.of.Worst.Sex.Ever!! show tonight at P.S. 122. HTML knowledge not required. [PS 122]
· Is the Polyphonic Spree a band-as-cult or a cult-as-band? Who knows. Drink the Kool-Aid, head to Brooklyn, and check them out at Warsaw; they hit the stage with former Soul Coughing frontman Mike Doughty. [Warsaw]

Every television actor in Hollywood has his or her own way of dealing with the uncertainty about the status of a show on the verge of cancellation. Some go on a long vacation, some hit the bottle or swallow handfuls of Vicodin, and some devote some of their newfound free time to helping worthy causes.

We'd make a joke about how the Church of Scientology has obviously killed Jenna Elfman's publicist, allowing her to spread the "tech" far and wide, but 1) the following excerpt came from Celebrity, the in-flight magazine of L. Ron Hubbard's mother ship, and 2) actresses that work as often as Vulcans mate don't work don't have publicists, silly!

Attention all career-driven, ladder-climbing freaks: Gawker Media's urban travel blog, Gridskipper, is looking to hire an additional blogger with a mastery of monosyllabic communication. If you're broadly traveled, urban obsessed, and love working in your pajamas, this gig might be for you. You should know your way around the web with equal verve, and have journalistic ambitions and writing skill (no, seriously). Travel journalism experience not essential — in fact, we'll probably hold it against you. Interested applicants should email gridskip@gridskipper.com.

Doctors will be treating him with kid gloves—seriously, he requested it.

While we're waiting for the February 23rd finale of Bravo's Project Runway, we thought we'd dangle a possible spoiler-on-a-stick in front of your hungry mouths. After the series' winner was decided during a hush-hush fashion show last week, a Gawker operative, firmly planted backstage, overheard "wild card" finalist Jay utter the following choice tidbit:

Blogger PageSixSixSix continues to put more effort into analyzing the sexuality of American Idol runner-up and child-hater Clay Aiken—there's something to be said for the tenacity of the Internet Gays, no? After suggesting that Clay Aiken had sex with male prostitute Mario Cruz (at right, link NSFW), Crazy McBlogger went so far as to hunt down Cruz's phone number and give him a call. Predictably, Cruz had no comment. Is this a case of "No means yes," or is Cruz just working his 15 minutes? You can, of course, call Cruz and ask him yourself; now that his number is listed online, we're sure the Claymates are suiting up for battle. Lawsuits TK!
PageSixSixSix Makes Contact [PageSixSixSix]

Dear Gawker Readers,

It's officially a trend: Billboards are becoming LA's dominant mode of self-expression. We'd gotten several e-mails about this yesterday (it sits above Third Street a couple of blocks west of The Grove), then found that someone at the LA Social Club Livejournal took a picture, saving us a pilgrimage to go snap it ourselves.

We never thought we'd say this, but we're sort of pissed that we're not on the Michael Jackson jury.

"Like, ohmigod, it's that dude who's sometimes fucking Ashlee Simpson!"

· Grammy report: everyone disses producer L.A. Reid in favor of Clive Davis, Jay-Z hints at a comeback (shock), and best of all, Star Jones gets denied after RSVPing for parties to which she was uninvited. [Page Six]
· Itty-bitty Ashley Olsen unleashes her pint-sized lawyers on American Media, Inc. and The National Enquirer after last week's cover story about her "drug scandal." Pity the publication that mixes up the Olsen vices. [R&M (4th item)]
· CBS has greenlights Love Monkey, a one-hour dramedy based on a book of the same name by former Post reporter Kyle Smith. The show is being pitched as male version of Sex and the City, ensuring that the industry will drive the memory of that bitch into the ground. [Page Six]
· The Eason Jordan guide to life: resign from CNN, sleep with Sharon Stone, rinse, repeat. [Lowdown]

The only thing better than a morning cup of coffee is a morning dose of cock. As such, it pretty much made our day to happen upon this breaking discovery:

NBC's Contender contestant Najai Turpin, 23, took his own life yesterday; he had a 2-year-old daughter. The show, which combines a televised boxing tournament with the personal lives of the fighters, has been taped up to the final match but has yet to air. Turpin's suicide presents a heartwrenching decision for the execs behind the show; what will they do? How will they handle this?