Over at The Observer, Tom Scocca untangles the mystery that is The New York Times' two Pat Healys. The first Pat works for The Times' Long Island bureau, the second covers Albany.

We are officially through the looking glass, people. CBS grand poobah Les Moonves tells AP that he "wouldn't rule out" Jon Stewart to replace Dan Rather:

· Jeff Jarvis throws down against Sarah Boxer of The New York Times for her piece on pro-American bloggers. We'd insert our standard "what's a blog" joke, but we're just as sick of it as you are. [Buzz Machine]

In this week's edition of New York magazine's Look Book, Intern Alexis consults Natalie Krinsky and Amanda Tree for their insight regarding nursing student Crystal Boria, who loves her shoes high and her nails done by Korean ladies. After the jump, their analyses of Crystal's chances at being America's Next Top Model.

Proving that perhaps Wenner GM Kent Brownridge was on to something, Brad Pitt-Jennifer Aniston breakup coverage is far usurping even the best efforts of the tsunami's PR team. After a day of mandatory silence following the Times' emotionally harrowing Brad and Jen thinkpiece, Star magazine goes for the jugular with new photos of a cuddly Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie enjoying some off-camera time in Costiera Amalfi, Italy. If you look closely enough, we swear you can almost see their genitals connect.
Brad And Angelina: Caught On Camera [Star on Yahoo]

Is New Beauty the most honest magazine in the world?

Fed up with reviews that sometimes have little or no basis in reality (is Masa really worth sacrificing your rent? Need we really imagine a Back to the Future scenario to understand Bistro du Vent?), the downtown foodies at Verbose Coma drop the science on Times restaurant critic (and part-time blogger) Frank Bruni:

In this late edition (our fault, we slept through yesterday) of her coverage of the New York Times Book Review, Intern Alexis wedges herself amongst David Brooks, Malcom Gladwell, and Stanley Crouch—and it's every bit as hot as it sounds. After the jump, Alexis presents her weekly guide to staying one step ahead of Oprah's Book Club.

Writing articles for magazines and newspapers is hard work! Or, so we've been told by a friend of ours who tricked an associate editor (who happens to be his roommate) into running a 200-word front-of-the-book piece about designer doughnuts for dogs. (He's even supposed to get paid, like, a dollar a word 30-60 days after the piece runs!)

This week in the normally venerable New Yorker, we're given insight into the secret lives of rich 20-somethings. (Disclosure time: yes, we know these 20-somethings, who happen to run College Humor.) We learned a lot, actually: watching The O.C. might get you laid; "penetrating" the dating scene is hard (heh); you can pleasure a female through some uncomfortable technique called "the shocker"; and the quanitity and measurements of one's flat screen television collection is the new cock size equivalent.

Time for some quick lessons from the House of Gawker: when starting a new job at a new magazine, do be sure to send an announcement to every PR flack in town. That way, we'll know that you're ready and willing to pimp your publication's content to any publicist who comes your way. It's a lot easier than actually looking and reporting on stories the traditional way, says Life And Style's new editor-at-large Zoe Alexander:

We noticed a round-up of current photography books in this weekend's Times, written by one Philip Gefter. Mr. Gefter, of course, is the former NY Times page one photo editor, the current Arts & Leisure photo editor, and the man who once got in trouble at the Times for anthropomorphizing turkeys in a photo caption. (We're surprised the Times copy desk didn't have him killed for that.)

One of his interns must've sat William Safire down in front of the computer and showed him a 'blog,' or 'web log' recently. How else to explain why The Times lame duck op-ed columnist would bother to write about blogs in his journalism state of the union address yesterday?. (Speaking of blogs: we checked one out this weekend: apparently some young woman's boyfriend is having problems at work and their relationship is suffering, but she can't wait for the new Beck CD to come out and she wants a pair of shoes she saw in a movie. Good stuff.)

Hey, wanna make $250k this year for leaking bland celebrity quotes to gossip columnists? Maybe you want to be GQ's in-house publicist. Then again, if you read 'Page Six' yesterday, you probably don't want to. According to an "insider," GQ editor Jim Nelson is "rude and demeaning" to prospective flaks, and:

We're hearing that there's drama once-glorious halls of Hearst's drifting fashion magazine, Harper's Bazaar. Spoiler alert: the ever-so-important March cover will feature the multi-talented Gwen Stefani, as shot by... Mario Testino s assistant. No, that s not a misprint. Famed photographer Testino is on contract with Cond Nast, but his assistant Alexi Lubromirski is free to roam, and is thus picking up some extra work outside of the House Of Nasty.

Drudge Report

While the rest of us were sizing up Hollywood's latest facelifts, timing the speed of Robin Williams' crack-monkey babble, and trying not to look directly at Joan Rivers, Henry the Intern took the high road and stayed faithful to his steady gal, Tina Brown. This week, Tina and Barbara Walters let the American public in on a big secret: President Bush is not "introspective." And we didn't know Teri Hatcher's visible sternum was going to win a Golden Globe, either. After the jump, Henry the Intern documents more earth-shattering revelations from T and the Gang.

This Sunday's Times seems a bit fixated on doughnuts: Dunkin' Donuts, to be precise.

A moment of silence, please, for Jay Schulberg, the man who put the milky white mustache on the upper lips of Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Gisele Bundchen, Carson Daly and just about every other celebrity in the world.

Is the writer of this letter to The Times (in response to Maureen Dowd's column from yesterday) advocating eugenics?