Couldn't get enough of the Grey Album or the million other Jay-Z mash-ups out there? Well, now Bill "Loof to Loof Ya, Baby" O'Reilly is even getting in on the act.

Wenner Media, home of US Weekly, Rolling Stone, and Jann Wenner, is embracing the bold new market of books with its fetus-like Wenner Books imprint. How, you may ask, can the home of charticles put together something as challenging to attention spans as a book? By writing a celebrity book, duh:

Just yesterday, in a review of Malcolm Gladwell's Blink on Salon, Farhad Manjoo wondered if "there any contemporary American writer more agreeable than Malcolm Gladwell?"

From the dripping-wet LA Times:

It's been way too long since we paid attention to our Auntie Joyce Wadler, the quasi-gossip columnist for the Times. You know you can't trust those nurses to take care of her. Anyhow, it's a good think we checked in when we did. It seems Joyce has lost all sense of journalistic sensibility, as she's gone and fallen in love with Clive Owen:

· Actor Jamie Foxx comes clean about his rumored sex pictures: they're real and "they're nice." Disturbingly enough, columnists Rush & Molloy also endorse Foxx as being rather well-endowed. Maybe the married columnists are looking for a little threesome? [R&M]
· Are state Republicans trying to destroy Fernando Ferrer's campaign for mayor? And since when did the Post run a sympathetic item towards a Democrat? [Page Six]
· Kazakhstan doesn't really love comedian Ali G. Embassy spokesman Roman Vassilenko says to Forward magazine, "...it's not quite helpful and perhaps harmful to portray a country where 'Throw the Jew down the well' is a famous folk song." [Lowdown]
· Because there's really no reason to live anymore, Donald Trump will be paid $1 million per hour for his Learning Annex appearance. [Page Six]

Not to over-Drudge your morning, but we saw this and immediately started our one-sided IM conversation with Matt Drudge:

We don't know how we missed this for three whole days, but in this month's an online column for Business 2.0, freelance media gossipundicritic Greg Lindsay continues to play Boswell to lifelike luxury magazine publisher Jason Binn. As you may remember, these two crazy kids have met before, but in B2, their friendship has grown deeper, as has the analysis:

Add another piece to the growing canon of fraternity literature. McSweeney's presents "ROCKIN' IT, FRAT-PARTY STYLE!" A SHORT STORY GEARED TO COLLEGE STUDENTS, WRITTEN BY A THIRTY-SOMETHING AUTHOR, by Mike Sacks today, a story that bears a passing resemblance to a certain gentleman of letters' recent book.

Now, if yesterday's Drudge is any indication, we can expect this image to grow slowly (but nonetheless exponentially) throughout the day, and we suspect blinking red text might be introduced by noon EST.
Drudge Report

Here's one way for a journalist to get through a celebrity profile: get high.

· Slate's Bryan Curtis claims that "[Dave] Barry writes some of the jazziest opening lines in the business." We read the five examples he cited and laughed, um, not once. [Slate]

This just landed in the inbox and, well, it pulls at our crusty heartstrings. Please read and, if you know how to help this poor reader find Mr. Cond Nast, let us know and we'll put him in touch.

Last we checked, 'Yes' had nearly twice the votes as 'No.' Clearly, the poll has been hacked.

"So was the feminist movement some sort of cruel hoax?"
- Maureen Dowd, Men Just Want Mommy, Jan. 13, 2005

Dutchess of York and Queen of Weight Watchers Sarah Ferguson was just now on CNN talking about Prince Harry's pretty Nazi costume. To paraphrase her stunning defense of the silly prince:

Kent Brownridge, the Wenner Media exec who shall forever live infamy (this week at least) for his remark that Brad and Jen's breakup " is our tsunami," apologized to Lloyd Grove in today's 'Lowdown':

Hey, we said it before, we'll say it again: Nazis are gonna be huge in '05.

The punishing combination of unforgiving deadlines and crippling grief over the separation of Hollywood's Favorite Couple has obviously driven the entire Star editing staff to suicide, leaving the operation defenseless against a takeover by careless, zombie proofreaders.

Controversy in ad-land! (And dad-land!)