He used to say that all the time during the 90's.

Yesterday at 6:01PM, we received a strange press release in our inbox. (Well, strange since it wasn't about improving our stamina or naughty housewives in our area looking for fun.)

Some people have no sense of humor. Take Volkswagen, for instance.

The new issue of GQ is out, and it features a profile of Javier Bardem headlined The Nuevo Brando (above, left).

Are the cheerleaders at the Today Show running low on methamphetamines? In the 20 minutes we've half-watched the morning perk-fest, we've seen an erroneously-timed split screen featuring Oscar de la Renta (who didn't know he was on), a silly (and now likely unemployed) PA walking directly in front of the live camera, and a commercial break inserted (and then quickly removed) in the middle of Matt Lauer's prattling. We're sure they're just uncontrollably excited about covering today's inauguration, but this lack of professionalism is distracting us from learning about the 30,000 pieces of shrimp served last night at some DC party.

There's more closeted veiled ruminations on the spanking-new marriage of erstwhile "whatever" boy Fabian Basabe, today coming from the Times. And, well, if the sage Boldface Names column is dropping clues, you know you best pay attention. But the fairy godmother of Boldface Names, Joyce Wadler, loves being as delightfully abstruse as possible, so we've taken the liberty of emphasising the important parts in today's column:

Brigid Hughes, who was tapped to replace the late George Plimpton as editor of The Paris Review last year, has left the venerable literary journal. According to The Times:

Earlier this afternoon we ran an item on ULA publicity director Karl "King" Wenclas' claims that writer Tom Bissell may have lifted some lines for a 2002 piece and Wenclas' shaking down of lit worlders who ignore his claims.

· In case you're poor and starving, grab a copy of this week's New York magazine featuring a special illustration by the artist Christo and you can have it signed by the Gate-maker himself on February 15. More importantly, you can then sell it on eBay and eat for a week. [NYM]
· Brilliant thoughts from Claire Danes: "Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen - they are just like panda bears, everyone's watching them, waiting to see if they'll survive." [Popbitch]
· A member of Phi Delta Theta's Northwestern University chapter is suspended following Benoit Denizet-Lewis' Times Magazine article about the chapter's drinking habits. [Daily Northwestern]
· Desperate Fox execs are eyeing a spinoff for the soon-defunct That 70's Show revolving around the Fez character. Our starstruck brother imagines the possibilities. [Defamer]
· The Quote of the Week from Fairchild Publications: "It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you often get it," from "W. Somerset Manghan." Only the best copy-editors for the publishing newsletter, right?

Karl "King" Wenclas, publicity director of the Underground Literary Alliance, is trying to get the word out that he thinks writer Tom Bissell lifted some passages in a 2002 Harper's article.

Speaking of blogs, zeitgeist longboard surfer, Douglas Coupland is back with a new novel called Eleanor Rigby and he has something to say about everybody's favorite new medium. Here he is talking with Nerve's Emily Mead:

Yesterday we introduced you to Zoe Alexander, recent US Weekly castaway and new Editor-at-Large of Life and Style, who's now best known for sending out a multi-tasking email that announced her job change AND opened the doors for publicist pandering. But Zoe's got so much more going on than that! It turns out she's also the founder of Divas Who Dine, "an exclusive, membership-only monthly networking luncheon" designed to foster social networking amongst the ladies who "make things happen." While plenty of these organizations exist and are often quite beneficial to their members, Divas Who Dine has a hefty membership fee which, at last count, hovered above $250.

This is a new one. We're writing about an article that's about an article that hasn't been published yet. It's like something straight out of Minority Report: future journalism crimes.

Because it's becoming mortifying email day 'round here at Gawky Station, we thought we'd let all of you ladies in search of the perfect swimsuit (because everyone but you is spending Valentine's Day in St. Bart's) know of an exciting opportunity over at Glamour magazine:

Week in and week out, we suggest readings in our (usually) daily To-Do lists. However, it hadn't occurred to us that these events might, well, suck.

Say what you will about Post books editor Jared Paul Stern and his crazy fedora, but you can't question the man's hefty testicles. In an interview with The Black Table, Stern reflects on his time as Bonnie Fuller's wingman at Star magazine:

It's rare, but it does happen. We actually laughed at one of those "funny" New York Times 'Op-Art' columns today. We're just as surprised as you are, frankly.

Prep author Curtis Sittenfeld, whom you may remember from her The New York Times Book Review essay that lamented the fact that she doesn't have any lit groupies, is back with another (too) personal essay in this week's New York Observer. Instead of discussing her author photo again, Sittenfeld breaks down the difference between being "girlishly neurotic" and "womanly neurotic." (Hint: Girlishly Neurotics write diaries, Womanly Neurotics write essays.)

The secret, meticulously-groomed path to Vogue editrix Anna Wintour's heart has been revealed in a new biography (unfortunately) entitled Front Row: The Cool Life and Hot Times of Vogue's Editor in Chief. According to this clearly-unauthorized bio, Wintour had a weeklong affair with reggae legend Bob Marley when he was in New York in the late 70's, spending nearly all of her time either backstage or in his hotel room. This is huge: it's totally hard to get the bong water smell out of your Halston frock, y'know?

Post restaurant critic Steve Cuozzo breaks this big scoop in a sidebar to the paper's hard-hitting local weather coverage: