Bad news on the human rights front: There's been a major cocaine bust in Palisades Park, New Jersey. Cruel federal agents mercilessly snatched over 900 pounds of cocaine from the quiet, suburban "stash house," estimating the drugs to be worth at least $40 million (or more, if you're buying from that dude at the bodega on 2nd Avenue).
There's news today on the latest threat to the PlayStation Portable, a handheld video game called "Bin Laden vs. US," in which little LCD planes fly into the Twin Towers. (Perhaps this might slow down real-estate meshugines Rudin Management's aggressive recruitment of Israeli companies for thier space in the financial district.) While the existence of this game is nothing new, you should still express fresh outrage at its presence in Bloomberg country! Now take a moment to appreciate the beauty of our terror alert as it rises to a luscious level of coral:
Great news today for all those sticky souls tired of trolling online adult search engines for those obscure sites featuring Farrah's Multiple Pussonalities. The internerd's main governing body is in negotiations to have pornographic websites use ".xxx" as their domain name (our perverted brother is predictably thrilled). Fine by us; we've never really liked the way we felt when typing "BDSM.com." Hopefully, we'll get the ".xxx" action ASAP:
Some readers have alerted us to sightings of recently-freed actor Christian Slater — he's already back on the streets (Hell's Kitchen, we hear), just days after his ass-grabbing escapades, so do be careful out there. While we stock up on pepper spray and pocket tasers, one reader has some lingering thoughts about Slater's choice of venues:
We don't know what got into us, but last night we did the unthinkable: We trekked to the Upper-Upper East-East Side, ground zero for a night of drinking and ass-grabbing that resulted in Christian Slater's arrest. The above photo, taken at Slater haunt Brother Jimmy's* and then sent to our lab for scientific analysis, just might shed a little light on where it all went wrong.
Slater Stalker Update:
· Yeah, yeah, yeah, NYC quartet Brazilian Girls are 0% Brazilian and only 25% female. They do, however, drop beats and lyrics ("Pussy pussy pussy, marijuana!") sexy enough to make you feel like you're in Brazil and not Irving Plaza. [flavorpill]
· David Sedaris, funny man with the funny family, re-enacts scenes from his latest work, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, at the E. 17th Street Barnes and Noble. [Paper]
· German robo-pop kings Kraftwerk bring their standstill act to the Hammerstein Ballroom. Glowsticks are acceptable, but not recommended. [Upcoming]
Was your Young Hollywood money not considered green enough to snag an invite to tonight's Hillary Clinton fundraiser at Roland "I Blew Up the White House During the Clinton Administration" Emmerich's place? Well, Aggrieved Potential Donor Man, don't even think about crashing—this party's gonna be locked down tighter than a young choreographer's junk at Bible camp. LA Observed has the e-mail outlining the security procedures:
Sightings are sent in by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.
· Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have brought their remarkably sexual love to New York in order to promote their sextastic new film, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. The sensual duo are not conducting interviews together, however, and are staying in separate, un-sexy hotels. [R&M]
· Everyone's favorite unimonikered lovebirds, Paris and Paris, probably won't be bathing in Kabbalah water before their nuptials. [Scoop]
· After Howard Stern complains on-air about FHM editor-at-larges Jake Bronstein's slightly-derogatory comments regarding Stern's girltoy, Beth Ostrosky, the lad mag gives Bronstein the boot. [Page Six]
· Rush Limbaugh offers to help Al Sharpton prepare for his Air America gig, thus sealing the sad fate of liberal radio. [Lowdown]
In an effort to make sure that our subways run ever so smoothly (except for the F. Or the A/C/E. Or the one that, uh, runs uptown), the MTA is considering some new rules and fines. For example, a "no-stroll" rule would prohibit walking between two subway cars with a fine of $75. Other proposed rules and fines include:
David Beckham — David Beckham! — has finally arrived in our fair city. (First sailors, and now this guy? It's like Gay Christmas.) The international soccer played for England in yesterday's exhibition game against Colombia (inexplicably held at Giants Stadium) but, more importantly, Beckham is in town to promote his very existence to America.
I'm not sure why, particularly at this godforsaken morning hour, I feel compelled to tell you this — but I am certain that at least four of you care, and so I will dutifully report:
For those wondering what the hell Mr. Slater was doing on 93rd and 3rd at the time of his arrest, a few of you wrote in with an explanation:
From left, Motherfucker promoters Georgie Seville, Justine D., Johnny T., and Michael T. Secretly, the latter three hate Georgie for having a last name.After five years of consistently ensuring that every holiday you have off from work is spent with a hangover, the Motherfucker gang threw their anniversary party on Sunday night at the cavernous Roxy. With a rock and roll-circus theme and more clowns than anyone should be comfortable with, photographer Nikola Tamindzic braved the sex and the sweat to document the fray. (Photos debatably NSFW.)
· Were you sitting around last night and just thinking to yourself, "I wonder if the Moog synthesizer was named after a dude or 'Moog' is just a made up word?" Probably not. Turns out, though, that it's option #1. Tonight, artists ranging from DJ Logic to one of them Brazilian Girls pay homage to Mr. Robert Moog and his lovely synthesizer at B.B. King's Moogfest 2005. [flavorpill]
· The first rule of a Chuck Palahniuk reading is that you must inform everyone of a Chuck Palahniuk reading. The second rule of a Chuck Palahniuk reading is that you must make that stupid fucking joke. In any event, the Fight Club scribe reads from his latest novel, Haunted, at the Barnes and Noble in Union Square tonight. [Upcoming]
· Berklee boy Edan (that's the Boston music school, not the Cali acid-trip) drops dope beats and sings pretty songs tonight at APT tonight. [Paper]
While the unwashed masses piled into automobiles and legroom-bereft economy airline seats to escape our fair city for the holiday weekend, the industry's distressingly thin stall-monkeys, untalented, less attractive younger sisters, and semifamous, vaguely ethnic television gardeners assembled at the usual spot for the usual night of unremarkable fame-related stuff:
