This image was lost some time after publication.

Was your Young Hollywood money not considered green enough to snag an invite to tonight's Hillary Clinton fundraiser at Roland "I Blew Up the White House During the Clinton Administration" Emmerich's place? Well, Aggrieved Potential Donor Man, don't even think about crashing—this party's gonna be locked down tighter than a young choreographer's junk at Bible camp. LA Observed has the e-mail outlining the security procedures:

* For security purposes, no guests will be allowed to attend who have not previously RSVP'd. No tickets will be sold at the door.
* Please allow for an additional 15-20 minutes to park in the lot, check your name on the shuttle roster, board and ride the shuttle to the property and check in.
* Expect additional delays if you plan to arrive after 10:30 p.m. Shuttle service will be less frequent after the program begins.
* Entrance to the parking garage is located on El Cerrito off of Hollywood Blvd. Look for Valet of the Dolls parking signs.

To remind everyone, this event is entirely closed press [sic]. Please do NOT speak to the press about the event at any time, and refer all media calls to Senator Clinton's Press Office: (202) xxx-xxxx.

We really wish we'd made the cut. We would've loved to see "co-host" Jake Gyllenhaal lock Hillary in the special plexiglass booth where she'll have sixty seconds to snag as many fluttering donation checks as her little hands allow.