MTA Encourages Self-Control Amongst Subway Savages
In an effort to make sure that our subways run ever so smoothly (except for the F. Or the A/C/E. Or the one that, uh, runs uptown), the MTA is considering some new rules and fines. For example, a "no-stroll" rule would prohibit walking between two subway cars with a fine of $75. Other proposed rules and fines include:
· Placing a foot on a seat or platform bench - $50
· Wearing skates - $100
· Standing on a skateboard - $100
· Riding a scooter - $100
Before you get all libertarian and indignant about the proposed changes, remember that you are a but small-minded Manhattanite — were it not for those PSA-style posters, you'd still be riding on the outside of a moving subway car. You, dear aborigine of mass transit, need the MTA to control your feral commuter urges.