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We don't know what got into us, but last night we did the unthinkable: We trekked to the Upper-Upper East-East Side, ground zero for a night of drinking and ass-grabbing that resulted in Christian Slater's arrest. The above photo, taken at Slater haunt Brother Jimmy's* and then sent to our lab for scientific analysis, just might shed a little light on where it all went wrong.

*Photo taken at the Brother Jimmy's on 77th and 2nd Ave. We started at the Brother Jimmy's on 93rd and 3rd, which we suspect was Slater's last stop pre-grope, but it was empty and boring. The bars are practically identical, anyhow, so whatever.

Earlier: Serial Groper Christian Slater Arrested For Sexual Abuse