After the months of hubbub about Cargo, the second men's shopmag is announced: Vitals, spawned from Details, is due out in September, 2004. (Why didn't they just call it Vittles? Fools.)

In anticipation of the April, 2004, launch, the men's shopping magazine Cargo plasters some ads around town. Is it just me, or does the "wordplay" (if you could call it that) on gender roles seem incoherent?
Cargo Mag [CondeNet]

Blogger Aaron Bailey has the solution to save media: make all reporters and editors work in an office where they can look outside and see real, actual people. It came to him in a dream about aliens (of course):

The Jews have been hot hot hot this week. It's all about the Jews right now. On both the cover of Time Out and New York this last week, the Jews have been rocking the pre-Hanukkah season. Jews: more popular than ever!

In its breathless turgid pink fashion, the New York Observer names the 50 Manhattan youngsters it believes are taking over the City. No lack of hype here: "Fifty Power Punks under 35, each staking a claim to the city s future, inheritors of the grid."

A shocking death; Abercrombie & Fitch Quarterly may be no more.

Mediabistro interviews Daily News media-man Paul Colford today. Pretty dry. Mr. Colford reportedly enjoys emails such as "Out here in the Midwest, we don't give a damn about Bonnie Fuller."

For the last time: we don't listen to NPR. There's no splashy visuals, you know? Just surely-ugly people yapping at you. So we missed a segment on Page Six's Ian Spiegelman on NPR Friday. According to media freakazoid Jim Romenesko, Spiegelman said at a Learning Annex class that, "The different people who go into writing the page have their different people they deal and have to like protect, and also their different wars that they have to kind of like persecute. It's a lot like being a mafia family."

Upon my return to Manhattan from Miami this evening, I went immediately to the deli. Manhattan has, after all, perfected the deli-as-art-form as our gift to the world, and I desired to worship.

I spent most of my weekend sewing a cigarette-epauleted superhero costume for Graydon Carter, editor of Vanity Fair and commander of New York smokers. Sometimes I imagine I see him smoking through the skies like a giant Winston Light fired from a hacking lung. He's the kind of superhero New York deserves.

In the last few days, the anti-celebrity backlash has gone a little too far. Listen, you can be as cruel to the celebrity class as you like, but don't forget that we need them! Famous people do really important things. For instance, maybe without them you wouldn't realize how impoverished and meaningless your life is?
Celebrity chokefest [Canada.com]

Ack! The awful hateful word "masstige" is snowballing.

Michael Kinsley, former editor of Slate, says of Salon that "If we had pissed away money at the rate Salon had done, Microsoft would've shut us down a long time ago... If they were as frugal as we are, they'd be thriving. The only reason people are paying attention to Salon is us. Otherwise, they are forgotten. At every stage they have mocked us, then they followed us."
Slate has a nice problem: progress [CBS Marketwatch]

A stalker reports on Thursday evening: "just saw paris and nikki hilton in the lobby of the viacom building 1515 broadway... the two blondest girls i've ever seen in my life, i thought i was in miami for a second. they seemed to be having some problem, either getting into the building or leaving it. but they were hanging around long enough for the streams of viacom employees leaving at 5:30 to ogle them. shockingly, they were not dressed for the weather, both in white - paris in a trucker hat and midriff exposed."

Low Culture has a stirring salute to the gossip columnist Roger Friedman today. LC writes: "[W]ith the [Michael] Jackson story, FOXNews.com's junketeering gossip has actually played journalist and broken some surprisingly impressive scoops. Friedman is all over Jackson like a Culkin on Spanish Fly."
A Hack in Heaven [Low Culture]

I've been totally ignoring the Hollinger scandal, because it's complicated to explain and I have a short attention span. Tina Brown helpfully brings out the saucier bits on Lord Conrad Black and his publishing company Hollinger International today:

An update on today's removal of the lobby art show in 4 Times Square (home of publisher Conde Nast): A employee in the building has written to say "Saw one of the pieces in question, and was immediately taken aback. It was a huge Uncle Ben's box, with images of modern black people superimposed on top. Think Lil Kim, or allnightclubs.com. Women, men, skin, and leather.

This is still developing, but while we're waiting for more information:

You know what this whole bidding for New York magazine nightmare really needed?

Soon enough, today's print news will just be a roundup of yesterday's internet news. Of course, sometimes the day-late syndrome allows print media to do little things like confirmation, and even sometimes this thing called "reporting." At the very least, the print lag gives everyone time to recant what they said.