Is it just us, or is the Observer part of a secret plot to make single women go insane? We'd just gotten over this morning's piece on women freezing their eggs (which we're casually referring to as OMG Freeze Your Eggs Now Before You're A Barren Hag) when we were unfortunately directed to the paper's coverage of recent engagements. According to the piece, 23 year-old Courtney Smith, a wholesale sales manager at the always-fabulous Hollywould shoe boutique, is giving up her fabulous, fashionable life in Manhattan to marry her fianc , J.J., who lives in Houston. Just like that.

Clockwise, from top left: Howard Dean, Tom Brokaw, Seymour Hersh and Richard Clarke.

The New Yorker, Jan, 17, 2005 (© Leo Cullum)

Given what Wenner Media GM Kent Brownridge said about the tsunami-esque impact of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston's breakup, we're none too surprised to see Wenner's prize title US Weekly give Brad and Jen a tidal wave of treatment in their spanking-new issue. No angle is left unexplored, no aspect of this story will go unnoted! The table of contents oozes in-depth coverage:

As the half of this Gawker team with ovaries, I m going to make a confession: I have a birthday coming up (not super soon, but soon enough). When that birthday hits me like a slap across my fresh-faced visage, I ll be one year closer to 35. And, thanks to those sensitive wankers over at the Observer, I am FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. You see, as a career-driven young woman, I m realizing that I don t have much time to climb the professional ladder, wear Armani power suits and, at the same time, meet the man of my dreams and create little babies.

NYU J-school lemmings might normally troll their graduate class listserv email for elite journalism gigs, but the career services director knows that those jobs aren't going to make a dent in your student loans. That's why she's thinking outside of the box, listing an exciting new position (sort of) associated with CosmoGirl:

Keith Kelly reports on how the celebrity weeklies (US, People, STAR, Foreign Affairs—wait, what?) scrambled like the proverbial chickenshits with their heads cut-off after Brad and Jen broke up last week. Apparently the Pitt-Anistons weren't considerate enough to announce their separation (or "seperation," as STAR would have it) at the beginning of the news cycle.

Here's the text of Dan Rather's email to his colleagues:

"A few years ago I read that you cannot be truly successful unless you love what you do for a living. To say that I love CO-ED is an understatement. To me, CO-ED is like the euphoria you feel when you're in college. It's the freedom and the feeling that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to."

In this week's edition of New York magazine's Look Book, Nom de Guerre Creative Director Holly Harnsongkram is spotted on Madison Avenue and tells us about her Parisian hat and Marc Jacobs boots (click the image at right to enlarge and see Holly in all of her tapered-jeans, avant-garde glory). Intern Alexis rounds up a stylish panel of Christopher Rovzar, Eliza Berkowitz, and Catherine Hopkinson to give Holly the once over and analyze her love of early New Wave and Godard.

· Slate's 'Book Club' has some hot Malcolm Gladwell-on-James Surwiecki action. [Slate]

We were rereading Henry the Intern's Topic A With Tina Brown analysis, and we were struck with Professor Brad Gooch's Hot Pick, which was the city of Berlin. Huh, wasn't Berlin hot back in 1999, right after everyone saw Run Lola Run and dyed their hair red? Let's have Henry rewind the tape and transcribe Gooch's explanation to Madame Brown:

Russ Smith comes to Tucker Carlson's defense in his New York Press column this week. Smith wonders:

Yesterday, we wondered (perhaps a bit testily) "what the hell is up" with these damn ringneck doves" that keep popping up in 'Page Six.' Three dove mentions in one month? And they're not even "canoodling" with... well, anyone.

· It's a miracle: it took the Daily News FOUR DAYS to suggest that Angelina Jolie might have been a factor in the cataclysmic break-up of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. Such restraint. [NYDN]
· Actor George Clooney invites Bill O'Reilly to present at Saturday's Radio City fundraiser for tsunami relief, daring O'Reilly to "put your considerable money where your considerable mouth is." [Page Six]
· Fake-singer Ashlee Simpson and not-as-fake-singer Ryan Cabrera call it quits. [R&M (4th item)]
· Former wrestler and Surreal Life star Joanie Laurer is arrested for "beating up her husband" in Los Angeles. 'Roid rage is a bitch. [Page Six]
· Speaking of possible 'roid rage, actor Wesley Snipes has allegedly made death threats against Blade: Trinity director David Goyer. [Lowdown]

According to the Boston Globe:

"Spamalot will cause you to throw your cares back over your shoulder like a toss of good luck salt!"
- 'Spamalot' Sings, Surprises, Liz Smith, Jan. 11, 2005 [NYP]

The Post is calling its group coverage of CBS and Dan Rather's fall from grace "Bad Day at Black Rock."

From Hand to Mouth [NYDN]
Big Jerk [NYP]

Hey, Dan, we know you have other things to worry about right now, but you might want to take a little more care with your metaphors when talking about tsunamis with The New York Times: