For most people, Friday means 9-5 laziness followed by binge drinking. For us, Friday means Blue States Lose, where we sort through the galleries of beautifully retarded hipsters at The Cobrasnake, Last Night's Party, Misshapes and Ambrel so you don't have to. After the jump, Joey Arak sprinkles his fairy dust.
Why are the children smiling? Because it's time again for our Friday fuckwit funfest, Blue States Lose. You know the drill: We sort through the galleries of the developmentally disabled hipsters at The Cobrasnake, Last Night's Party, Misshapes and Ambrel so you don't have to. After the jump, Joey Arak shows you his spirit fingers.
We know the possibility of a third life for Radar leaves you almost too sexually excited to think about anything other than easing yourself into some pert young fresh intelligence. But if anything can distract you it's Blue States Lose, where we sort through the galleries at The Cobrasnake, Last Night's Party, Misshapes, and Ambrel so you don't have to. After the jump, Joey Arak deigns to grace us with his presence long enough to fulfil his hipster-mocking duties.
We owe you an apology. Friday came and went without a single moment of Blue States Lose, and we failed to provide an explanation. As it turns out, resident hipster hater Joey Arak was in Austin, Texas, for the South by Southwest music festival. We're sure that a few days' worth of total immersion amongst the indiest of indie folks (and assorted bloggers) will provide him with endless inspiration for his next BSL installment, which dutifully returns to form this Friday.
It may be suspiciously nice outside, but we're urging you to avoid sunlight at all costs. It's global warming, you fools — not time for rejoicing! Instead, stay chained to your desk and bask in the warm LCD glow of Blue States Lose, where we sort through the galleries of the handicapable hipsters at The Cobrasnake, Last Night s Party, Misshapes and Ambrel so you don t have to.
• The latest in the Times' ever-growing stable of blogs is Wall Street and financial blog DealBook, edited by Andrew Ross Sorkin. We imagine that when Gawker alum Elizabeth Spiers gets her similar venture, Dealbreaker, up and running, these two will spend the spring mudwrestling one another. Kinda hot, no? [DealBook]
• Before you get all wet and saucy at the prospect of more pictures of Kate Moss blowing rails, keep in mind that these ones are from 1998 or so. And really, once you've seen her hoover one, you've seen her hoover them all. [Sun UK]
• Win yourself a free meal on 71 Clinton's last night of service. All you have to do is come up with the best answer to how you would spend $250 on food and drinks, in a single night, on the Lower East Side. If you want to win, we suggest refraining from mentioning Welcome to the Johnson's. [Eater]
• WASPdate continues to thrive, lending its support to plaid pants-wearing whiteys everywhere. [AM New York]
• New York mag puts out its Best of New York issue, and yet the "Best Way to Get on a Hipster Photo Website" strikes us as the worst of our fair city. [NYM]
• Frank Bruni gets highly philosophical on the issue of whether or not a restaurant should be re-reviewed. How one man puts so much thought into the star system, we'll never know. But bless him for all that he does. [Diner's Journal]
Gather 'round, darlings, and come get your midday snack: apple juice, a cookie, and a hearty spoonful of Blue States Lose. It's time for our weekly foray into the inane, where we sort through the galleries of the insane and inane hipsters at The Cobrasnake, Last Night s Party, Misshapes and Ambrel so you don t have to. After the jump, Joey Arak makes you smell his vintage cowboy boots.
Sent to us by a reader on a mission to make us weep, it's the most disturbing, confusing footage we've seen in recent memory: Last Night's Party, the video. We don't know if the clip is designed to be a trailer for some forthcoming public access romp or something more sinister. Or maybe photographer Bronques is just showing his trailer for, like, his fucking life, dude. Yeah. Whatever the intention, seeing the tweaky hipsters and naked children of Blue States Lose in live action has us shocked. You mean these over-calculated cracknuts are actually real people?
It's Friday, and that can only mean 2 things: you've got a marvelous hangover, and we've got Blue States Lose, our weekly exercise in tough love. We sort through the galleries of the insane and inane hipsters at The Cobrasnake, Last Night s Party, Misshapes and Ambrel so you don t have to. After the jump, Joey Arak dishes his sartorial philosophy.
The March issue of Harper's has a particularly great article by senior editor Bill Wasik, whose name is probably otherwise unfamiliar to you. That's because he's lived under the shroud of secrecy — Wasik is the inventor of the flash mob. Remember those breezy days of 2003 and 2004? An email or a Craigslist posting would appear and a large group of random strangers would convene in a certain place at a specific time, do something odd, and then quickly disperse no more than 10 minutes later. Heady times, man.
Bruises are the new necklaces.
The only thing that could possibly improve on such a sunny Friday is Blue States Lose, our weekly game in which we sort through the galleries of blissfully retarded hipsters at The Cobrasnake, Last Night s Party, Misshapes and Ambrel so you don t have to. After the jump, Joey Arak shows you his MySpace profile.
We've said it before and we'll say it again: With the free dailies, you get what you pay for.
This is Nia, the twin sister of Top Model winner Naima Mora. They're both equally "famous."
TGIF, whorebots, 'cause it's time for Blue States Lose, our fun little game where we sort through the galleries of fucked-up hipsters at The Cobrasnake, Last Night s Party, Misshapes and Ambrel so you don t have to. Then we bring you our 10 favorites each Friday. After the jump, Joey Arak helps you with your asymmetrical haircut.
You know how when you were a teenager, your parents would occasionally try to pick up your youthful slang so that they'd seem just slightly cool? At least their efforts came from the heart (they wanted you to love them, after all) and were for the greater good, rather than the ultimate evil. Regarding the latter:
• The indie folks of Williamsburg — united by their shared love of cowboy boots, cotton leggings, and tourmaline hair-straighteners — fear the corporatization of their trust-fund-supported lifestyle. [Newsday]
• Credit Suisse shits all over the Met-Life building and, in turn, Madison Square Park. [Manhattan Offender]
• Harper Collins and Daddy Murbucks can't afford their own domain name for promotional blogging purposes? [Eyeball Hatred]
• After you go through the secret door and get the secret number to secure your secret reservation at La Esquina, they'll secretly dick you over and cancel your secret table. [Miss Kate]
• Jennifer Solow is a self-described famous author. If you have to say it, you aren't. [Jennifer Solow]
Put down your lunch and bust out your glitter-flecked black eyeliner! It's time for Blue States Lose, where we get off on sorting through the galleries of fucked-up hipsters at The Cobrasnake, Last Night s Party, Misshapes and Ambrel so you don t have to. Then we bring you our 10 favorites each Friday. After the jump, Joey Arak teaches you to appreciate the dirty scent of the disaffected masses.
There's so much double-reverse meta-irony going on here, we can't figure out if the event is serious and sarcastic.
