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It may be suspiciously nice outside, but we're urging you to avoid sunlight at all costs. It's global warming, you fools — not time for rejoicing! Instead, stay chained to your desk and bask in the warm LCD glow of Blue States Lose, where we sort through the galleries of the handicapable hipsters at The Cobrasnake, Last Night s Party, Misshapes and Ambrel so you don t have to.

One thing we always notice as we comb through all these photos are the terrible tattoos that young hipsters decide to stab into their skin forever, seemingly for the sake of irony or an artistic statement. Ugly tattoos are ubiquotous on these sites, even more so than headbands or that terrorist-chic scarf. We never really comment on the tattoos, though, because there's usually so much more material to get to. Also, we assume that our mockery will be nothing compared to the cruel effects of middle age, so we tend to cut these unfortunate souls some slack. This week, however, we noticed a huge uptick in awful, awful tattoos. It was stunning, really. So we decided to abandon the usual routine and go with something new for this edition of BSL. So here it is, Blue States Lose: Tattoo Edition.

10) Last Night's Party. NSFW 2 photo #8269: Spread your wings and fly, barbed-wire-hand-grenade-heart! Fly far, far away! Spread tales of compassion and fabulous boobs wherever you may land!

9) Last Night's Party. NSFW 2 photo #7746: We don't know who Harold is, but dude probably should have cut down on the Monopoly. Just sayin'.

8) The Cobrasnake. Animal Potpie photo #9565: We don't even know where our 10th grade diary is, let alone remember it so vividly that we could reproduce our art class watercolor painting of what our future husband would look like. Kudos to this gal for never forgetting where she came from.

7) Last Night's Party. NSFW 2 photo #7792: "Yes, burnt-out weirdo who spray paints the galaxy onto paper on the sidewalks of Times Square to the amazement of tourists, I would like for you to design something that will be on my body forever. No no no, I don't need to see it beforehand. Just make sure the astronaut is popping out of a cardboard box."

6) The Cobrasnake. Animal Potpie photo #9581: Seriously, what is it with hipsters and hand grenades? How many English princesses have to diehow many Celine Dion fundraisers must there bebefore landmines become the ironic arsenal item of choice amongst the jaded youth of today?

5) The Cobrasnake. Animal Potpie photo #9633: You can really have your pick of atrocities on this glorious canvas, but eyeball sucking-candy gets the nod from the judges (we had to subtract a tenth from the bat's overall score because his tiny little feet were making us feel weird). If you think this is odd, wait until you see the tootsie roll penis on her other arm. Now that thing is just crass.

4) The Cobrasnake. Relax LAX photo #9147: We admit that getting a recreation of the Last Supper on your arm is an admirable feat, but don't you think Jesus would be pissed off if he found out he was sharing real estate with a bloody decapitated bird head? It's like, "Hey, God's light is shining on me over here. Can you get that freaky fucking thing away from me?!"

3) The Cobrasake. Flaunt Spiders photo #0235: "I'm serious. The day I get a job is the day lightning bolts stop flying out of my hand vagina, which, as you can probably guess, is never."

2) Last Night's Party. NSFW 2 photo #8310:
"But Ted, who will lead the Asshole Parade?"

"I don't know, dude, I'm just wailing, let me be."

1) Last Night's Party. NSFW 2 photo #7777: We are strong! No one can tell us we're wrong! Searchin' our hearts for so long! Both of us knowing ... that this guy's a twatface.