In last week's edition of Blue States Lose, we came across the following photo:

This image was lost some time after publication.


Holy fuck, right? How can we possibly come up with original commentary for this? It's like shooting a bunch of downtown fish in a disaffected barrel. So we put it to the BSL nation to finish the following caption: So Steve Aoki, Princess Coldstare and a Madden brother walk into a Dim Mak party...

Then we kinda forgot about the contest. We didn't mean to, really, but we just got so totally wasted at Movida and then we met up with Thomas the Doorman, who kept us out all night and dragged us to Michael T's birthday party at Scenic and you know how it is... But now My Chemical Romance has finally left our apartment and we can sober up and focus on picking a winner. The results are after the jump.

In third place, the work of Sean Donohue:

So the other night I'm at Dorian's, and who walks in but Blackface Jesus. The room comes to a halt as he immediately launches into his own rendition of the Aristocrats: "So Steve Aoki, Princess Coldstare and a Madden brother walk into a Dim Mak party..."

Nate Brown's wit came in second place:

So Steve Aoki, Princess Coldstare and a Madden brother walk into a Dim Mak party and were eaten alive, torn limb from limb by the zombie fucking heroin coma twins and your Uncle Fred on a 10-day coke binge. And we all lived happily ever after. The end.

And finally, the winner of our first-ever Blue States Lose Photo Caption Contest, Drew Breunig:

So Steve Aoki, Princess Coldstare and a Madden brother walk into a Dim Mak party... That you're not at.

And thank Allah for that, right? Congrats to Drew; his nimble balance of eloquent rage and uncomplicated indifference should be inspiration to us all. As his grand prize, Drew will receive Jane Cosmetics "Red Fury" eyeshadow, a case of Sparks, and a one-month supply of syringes.