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TGIF, whorebots, 'cause it's time for Blue States Lose, our fun little game where we sort through the galleries of fucked-up hipsters at The Cobrasnake, Last Night s Party, Misshapes and Ambrel so you don t have to. Then we bring you our 10 favorites each Friday. After the jump, Joey Arak helps you with your asymmetrical haircut.

To all the people who entered the Blue States Lose caption contest, we say this: well played, friends. And to winner Drew Breunig, be it known that Misshapes doorman Thomas has your picture, and if you ever show up around those parts he will slap your tushy so hard that not even a frosty can of Sparks (or Sparks Light, if that's your preference) will be enough to ice it down.

Before we get on it with, here's the Last Night's Party Blog Moment of the Week, from LNP's one post this week, in regards to his trip to Sundance:

You know the difference between good girls, bad girls and nice girls right? Well good girls, you can date them forever and even marry them and still not get any sex Bad girls, they screw you and all your friends over and over again But nice girls are the kind of girls who help you put it in You know what's brown, furry and smells like fish? My moustache!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand scene! On with the list!

10) Ambrel. We Bite! photo #5135: She felt that the hand-embroidered "Five Minutes From Bedford" Neighborhoodie was playing it a bit too obvious, so she went back to the drawing board. Not sure this is any less subtle, however, but we respect her effort.

9) Last Night's Party. Shindig (Busted) photo #5956: "I'm telling you," Sam said. "There's definitely going to be way less than 20 people wearing headbands at this party!" Thirty seconds later, it was punishment time.

8) Misshapes. January 21, 2006 photo #042: This dude is either the best funeral director in Williamsburg, the worst used car salesman in Dallas, the leader of a bizarro
gay marching band or in My Chemical Romance. Obviously there's only one way to know for sure: testing him for Ultragrrrl's DNA.

7) Misshapes. January 21, 2006 photo #029: OK, we're not gonna front like we didn't see that Sounds cover art this week and weren't like, "Hmm...maybe we've got Misshapes all wrong," but then the fantasy ends and suddenly we're dealing with reality and it's like, "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, nah, we pretty much nailed it."

6) The Cobrasnake. Sandiego Belo photo #8651: You know what? We never thought we'd ever see anything that could top Steve Aoki sticking his Sparks tongue in some poor and unsuspecting girl's mouth hole, and goshdarnit we were right. But seeing Steve Aoki and a random stoned white dude tossing up hand signs comes in at a very close second, don't you think? Don't you think?! DON'T YOU THINK?!?!?!

5) Misshapes. January 21, 2006 photo #283: And then the fox was like, "OK, let's be honest. Getting shot in the face and skinned was really only the second worst thing to happen to me this week. I'm such a bitch!"

4) The Cobrasnake. Supra H0B KR3W photo #8824: This is how a California hipster female "presents herself" during mating season, which comes at the halfway point between CMJ and Coachella. The cowboy boots stay on and the cigarette actually gets lit before the act. Unusual, yes, but as is their wont.

3) Misshapes. January 21, 2006 photo #144: This one could have a couple of outcomes. Newcomers to the Blue States Lose column will look at this picture and simply vomit all over their keyboards. Veterans will do the same, but will expell more of a gratifying chunky-bile thing because they'll notice the subtle changes in our old friends One-Half Nelson and Laidie Magenta. 1/2N purchased a new pair of glasses, dyed his hair and defied physics by tilting it to the side. Then he stuck silly putty in it. And Laidie Magenta. Oh, Laidie Magenta! She's, umm ... still ticking?

2) The Cobrasnake. Smoothie Salad photo #9681: Simply put, how this douchebag makes it through a fucking day without someone pouncing on him and clawing his face off is enough to make our brains, kidneys, testicles and extremities give up for good. Give him his fucking reality show, already.

1) Last Night's Party. Shindig (Busted) photo #5690: What you're seeing is a process so rarely captured on film that the Library of Congress is trying to seize this photograph so that it may be preserved to educate future generations of college seniors who plan on moving to the Lower East Side. What you're seeing here is, simply put, how hipsters exchange strands of cool. You ever maddeningly wonder just how a band like Editors or Arctic Monkeys can suddenly be everywhere before ever releasing an album? It's because of an extended network of dudes like this who pass on the top secret hipster newsletter through these precise means. They think nobody is watching, but Last Night's Party apparently has more talent than we give him credit for. Right now the guy on the left is uploading a Forward Russia live set from Berlin recorded 10 days ago to the guy on the right, and the guy on the right is countering with fashion notes from a London loft party attended by Art Brut and two members of Bloc Party. This is actually the cover of next month's National Geographic.