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The only thing that could possibly improve on such a sunny Friday is Blue States Lose, our weekly game in which we sort through the galleries of blissfully retarded hipsters at The Cobrasnake, Last Night s Party, Misshapes and Ambrel so you don t have to. After the jump, Joey Arak shows you his MySpace profile.

This week was a big one in BSL land, as it saw the return of the hyper-douche party known as Nouveau. For those who missed it or don't careroughly 99.9% of breathing adult humans at last countthe huge hipster fuckfest hit Fat Baby on Valentine's Day.
Apparently having a nice romantic dinner with your loved one is, like, so played out and ancient or something. Seriously, are you a grandparent? Do you also have, like, a huge feast with your family on Thanksgiving and open a bunch of presents on Christmas morning? God, you are so fucking tired.

Anyway, as a special treat, we're including Nouveau pictures in this week's list. And there's no Last Night's Party Blog Moment of the Week, because LNP decided not to dole out his nuggets of wisdom, unfortunately (too busy posing with the Misshapes gang for Virgin Mobile ads and sex advice book covers, perhaps?). There is, however, this e-mail that found its way to us today:

This morning as I got on the L, who do I see rushing to get on the train behind me? None other than that kid with the bowl cut gone awry from Misshapes. It's 8:15am on a weekday, and this kid is dressed in full party gear as though he was on his way to some drunk hipster dancing event. He had on stonewashed jeans tucked into white cowboy boots, a fluorescent pink jacket, and his signature ugly glasses to really complete the look. People on the train were definitely staring & snickering (I almost felt bad for him). Contrary to Gawker's assertion in the first Blue States Lose post, he didn't come from far East Williamsburg - he got on at Bedford, which may detract from his street cred if word gets out.

Bedford? Yikes! Looks like someone is shopping for a million-dollar condo. Now, on to the list!

10) Misshapes. Feb. 11, 2006 photo #013: The reason the top of his head is bulging out so much? His brain is trying to get as far away from that fucking thing as possible.

9) Nouveau. Valentine's Day photo #P1010075: "Fuck! I knew ironically dressing in Halloween colors on Valentine's Day was lame and wouldn't go over well. If only I could ignore the little devil that rests on my shoulder. The one that, for some odd reason, is much bigger than I am and touches me in strange places when I'm trying to sleep."

8) Nouveau. Valentine's Day photo #P1010117: Is it some sort of artistic statement? Not in the least. It's just that his buddy started filling in the heart and realized it was going to take a tad more than 30 seconds to complete. Having taken the lifetime hipster oath of never laboring over any task or giving off the vibe of "work," he stopped right away and said, "Umm, what if I just think of a word that fits between your nipples. Here, this is edgy, right? Now go sell it!"

7) Nouveau. Valentine's Day photo #P1010066: At first you let out a sympathetic "Awwwwwwww" because these two found each other on Valentine's Day. Little do you know it's a doomed romance. If they get any closer, their chunky hiptard necklaces would collide and ignite a fire that would instantly decimate Annie's record sales. For this reason, they can never be together. Very Brokeback, when you think about it.

6) Nouveau. Valentine's Day photo #P1010071: Here's a little lesson on the origin of the Internet. The first recorded description of the social interactions that could be enabled through networking was a series of memos written by J.C.R. Licklider of MIT in August 1962, discussing his "Galactic Network" concept. He envisioned a globally interconnected set of computers through which everyone could quickly access data and programs from any site. But just before he was about to drop the inter-office envelope in the "Out" box, he had a vision of a day in the not-so-distant-future when some dumb fucking cockballs would waltz into a bar on New York's Lower East Side in an air-brushed, custom-made MySpace-themed T-shirt. Licklider delicately unwound the string, removed the memos from the envelope and crammed them deep up his ass so that nobody would ever find them, instead deciding that it would be much better if Al Gore took the fall for this one.

5) Last Night's Party. 'Stache IV photo #4582: Here's a photograph of a girl showing her vagina in a bathroom.

4) Nouveau. Valentine's Day photo #P1010048: Well, we found something worse than being Blackface Jesus: being Blackface Jesus' valentine. But the most incredible thing about this is that even though there's a mostly-naked dude wearing blackface, a crown of thorns and an American flag standing roughly four feet from her, the girl all the way on the left is still just like, "Honey, you think you can pull off that skirt?" It's like she got a guided behind-the-scenes tour of Auschwitz in 1944 and only came away with the sense that the SS guards wore too much brown.

3) Misshapes. Feb. 11, 2006 photo #180: For over two years, Sparks has fought its way to the top of the Hipster food pyramid (above PBR, Red Stripe andoddlyDoritos Munchies mix) using an aggressive marketing campaign dubbed "Operation Give Away Free Product at Parties in Bars and Clubs." It worked, and pretty soon Sparks Mouth, also known as Sparks Tongue, was spotted everywhere. So now that they've put in all that hard work and finally got some return on that investment, Sparks' PR firm will probably be bummed to find out that some dude with sideburns not seen since the glory days of 90210 just ruined the whole shebang in about two seconds, because the other side of this click is about to make the world quit Sparks cold turkey.

2) Last Nights Party. Criminal photo #4053: Usually we let Last Night's Party slide on the obvious forced staging of his photographs, but could this look more unsexy/awkward/fake? How many times do you think LNP had to tell the dude on the left to hold the bottle higher so that the label showed in the frame (Svedka is a sponsor, after all). And if that's not fake enough, c'mon ... a black guy? That immediately ruins any sort of hipster authenticity. Yeah, we're sure he can't get enough of hanging out at Scenic, or chilling in elevators with a dude who's growing Nottingham Forest on his chest.

1) Misshapes. Feb. 11, 2006 photo #064: We're all for dressling like a Dallas used-car salesman or dressing like a funeral director or dressing like Lurch, but we can't shake the feeling that this is the creepy old guy that someone loosely connected to your clique of high school friends takes to prom. The one who buys all the booze for everybody and the one who "did a little time upstate for some stupid shit." The one who, before you know it, has his tongue in a passed-out 17-year-old's ear. This is why they make rape whistles.