It's been far too long since we hunkered down with publicist-designer-Breck model Jonathan Cheban, right? Thankfully, our friends deep in the wilds of New Jersey have just discovered J-Chebs, who reveals the secrets of his style:
It's good to know that we're not alone in our love of classic Donatella Versace rumors. Now that the designer has presumably cleaned up and de-cocained herself, she's so boring. From a reader comes yet another completely unconfirmed but totally plausible piece of nostalgia:
Traver Rains and Richie Rich pride themselves on being prettier than you.
Former club kid Richie Rich once said, "It's what's on the outside that counts!" A man after our own heart (as if we had one, anyway). So when we heard he and partner Traver Rains were throwing a party for their Heatherette clothing line, we let Gawker gimp Noelle Hancock and resident porn-monkey Nikola Tamindzic off their leashes to drop by for an hour. After the jump, Lydia Hearst muses, Michael Musto has a gay ol' time, Fergie 'fesses up about her alleged engagement and Noelle wets her pants. (Two photos not appropriate for work, or life in general.)
The Gods of Pointless Fashion are very, very angry with the feet of L.A.'s dead-eyed fashionistas. They've dispatched this newest below-the-knee plague through the sartorial glory hole of Kitson, an army of rabid, pom-pom wielding rabbits in feather head-dresses with a mission to assault out-of-vogue Uggs and Mukluks and create an evil, hybrid footwear stolen from the closet of a flamboyantly gay Predator.
In her subscribers-only newsletter editorial titled "Take out the White Trash," Lookonline's entertainment editor Diane Clehane gets lost nostalgic for the 90's, when celebrity fashion icons were of the likes of Princess Diana and Carolyn Bessette Kennedy. Today's reality, for Clehane, isn't quite so stylish:
We've always heard that the Space Shuttle operates on '70s technology, which makes sense when you consider the first launch happened when we were in elementary school. But what we didn't know until today — when we saw this picture and noted those terrible, gray-striped shirts, the even worse blue pants, and the hair on those two chicks — is that apparently NASA dresses its passengers like people in their 70s. In Florida.
• We're not sure who to pity more: Premiere magazine for paying Harvard's Lampoon writers to make fun of their magazine, or the writers for actually taking the cash. Those kids have a bright future of working at upcoming Jimmy Kimmel roasts. [Lampoon]
• Oh, David Beckham. Playing footsies with some other woman, in public, while your wife sits next to you? Bold and daring. And stupid. That too. [BWE]
• Oh, the thrill of canceling your Times subscription. [Amy's NY Notebook]
• How to be fat and fabulous? Oversized Prada sunglasses. That's why they're so damn popular — not because of some Olsen twin. [Eurotrash]
• On the grandiose, brass balls of Graydon Carter. [FishbowlNY]
• And finally, a special congrats to speakeasy La Esquina, which took only 44 days to hit media saturation. Things should be tolerable around there in approximately 2 months, at which point we suggest you stop by. [Eater]
R&B trio Destiny's Child, making the requisite publicity rounds during their farewell tour, stopped by the Today show for a quickie concert at Rockefeller and a requisite ass-kissing from Matt Lauer. Lauer expressed what a pleasure it's been to see the ladies "grow" through all these years and, if he weren't so laughably earnest, we'd think he were coping with some early morning lust.
Today's Post has a disturbing piece on the rise in lifestyle consultants who, for choice fee, will help you revamp, reorganize, and restyle your life into something resembling "cool." The idea, of course, being that this will then trick your acquaintances into believe that you actually are cool. In reality, however, you've just paid some control-freak shopaholic several thousands of dollars to perform your consumerist duties for you:
This week's edition of New York magazine's Look Book goes for the jugular of international media and profiles Sofia Hedstrom, a reporter for a Swedish television show based in our fair city. Don't get your lube out just yet — Sofia's not exactly the girl of your Nordic fantasties. She is, however, a fan of H&M (how patriotic). And, because Sofia's read the August issues of every magazine on the racks right now, she's got a sneaking suspicion that 60s style is going to be popular for fall. Maybe so, but that doesn't excuse her knee socks and Banana shorts. After the jump, Intern Alexis cajoles Nick Sylvester and Hud Morgan into doling out a few pearls of pretty, petty wisdom.
The summer issue of Departures, American Express's magazine for people richer than you are, carries a feature on the joys of seersucker.
Oooooo. Some interns got in trouble.
When Northwestern University's champion lacrosse team visited the White House, some of the ladies came under criticism for wearing flip-flop sandals (nice ones with rhinestones, apparently, which complemented their skirts from Express). On Monday, Today's Katie Couric sat down with the sandal-wearing players to discuss whether or not flip-flop sandals have become commonplace enough to be considered acceptable. Just now on today's episode, we couldn't help but notice that Couric herself was sporting a dressy pair of flip-flops. Will conservative dressers scream bias? Or are they too mesmerized by her glistening, tanned legs?
There's an old warning, never pick a fight with a man who buys ink by the barrel. You'd think the Internet-age applications of that maxim would be clear, but apparently not. So let's be explicit: When attempting to game a contest run by a notoriously bitchy blog, don't send a mass email announcing your intention. It's bound to get forwarded around and end up someplace where it will embarrass you. Like, say, here:
Do you ever have one of those situations where every joke you could make would be terribly misconstrued? Yeah, us too.
Is Sunday truly Sunday without a Times article on sexy, sweatshop-free American Apparel and its founder, Dov Charney? Of course not. Yesterday's beacon of hip brought us a Styles piece on Charney's latest legal woes, courtesy of some former employees who are suing for sexual harassment. Now, God knows Gawker is full of strident feminists, but this sort of complaint is kind of like going to work at Playboy and then suing because you had to look at boobies.
