New York Senate Majority Leader Joe Bruno continues to pound away at Eliot Spitzer, raising the possibility that the Senate may compel the governor to testify in one of the multiple investigations called for by Bruno over whether or not the governor's office improperly used the state police to track Bruno's questionable air travel. Good luck, says a spokesman for the governor, casting doubt on the Senate's constitutional authority to investigate internal executive affairs.

On the second day after the release of a report from Attorney General Andrew Cuomo's office revealing that staffers working for Governor Eliot Spitzer aggressively attempted to discredit Senate Majority Leader Joe Bruno, the stories keep coming. The governor was in Buffalo yesterday, where he couldn't avoid questions about the report. "All I can do is get back to business and that's what I am doing," he said. Meanwhile!

How screwed is Eliot Spitzer? That's probably the most important question after yesterday's release of a report by Attorney General Andrew Cuomo that accuses "Mr. Spitzer's communications director, Darren Dopp, and a top state homeland security official of ordering state police to take extraordinary measures to track the use of air and ground police escorts by the Republican Senate majority leader, Joseph Bruno, in an effort to catch him abusing state resources."

Dr. Andrew Trees, the author of a roman a clef about posh Riverdale prep school Horace Mann, remains fired from that institution. But his friends and former colleagues have rallied together on his behalf! Over 60 academics signed a letter to the editor of the Horace Mann Record—which was then prevented from publishing the letter by head of school Tom Kelly. Even new Record editor Elyssa Spitzer (yes, that's Eliot's daughter!) could not sway the discourse in the direction of free speech. The unprinted letter is after the jump.

Further scenes from Saturday's White House Correspondent's Dinner:

You know what they say about Second Avenue, don't you? Lose a deli gain a subway. (Not too elegant but it beats that ol' Avenue A axiom: Lose a cyber-cafe, gain a diaper-changing station). Like the 2nd coming, the 2nd Avenue subway brings the shimmer of eternal underground salvation to millions and, also like the 2nd coming, the 2nd Avenue subway is so rarely delivered. But there's a new sheriff in town by the name of Eliot Spitzer and dude supposedly means business about the subway that doesn't really get you from anywhere good to anywhere else good.

Governor Spitzer looks more presidential in his hand-held mirror every day. "The Steamroller," universally acknowledged to have received a fairly savage drubbing in the recent state budget negotiations, still thinks he came out a winner. Highly indictable Senate Majority Leader Joe Bruno had some choice words regarding his recent whipping—and now Gov. Wash and Fold is trying for a snappy come-back.

The nightlife of the East Village has been gradually drying up over the past few years. Speaking as your After Hours Editor, this depletion of nocturnal watering holes has rocked me to the core. Many have blamed Community Board 3, a group of E.Vill residents with nothing better to do on a Monday night than foil the plans of many a restaurateur. But as with so many things downtown, the real culprit might have been a little farther afield.

The always reliable Fred U. Dicker reports that "Gov. Eliot 'Steamroller' Spitzer was at it again yesterday, in a 15-minute, expletive-laden exchange with Senate Majority Leader Joseph Bruno that left top state officials aghast—and caused a secretary to flee the face-off in horror, insiders said yesterday." Since the "family-friendly" Post won't give you any of the good stuff, we've obtained a transcript of the call and itemized its profanities.

Some bad news for The Steamroller:

The Daily Politics posts a "a mass e-mail [from Governor Spitzer] to his campaign supporters on budget day, under the subject line "Our dialogue," summarizing his accomplishments on Day One through Day 31." What's fascinating about the missive is how much of it really sings with Spitzer's voice; clearly, this wasn't the work of some staffer. As we learned this morning, this is not a man who's shy about implementing his agenda:

Sweet baby James played at Spitzer's inauguration on New Year's Day, boosting Spitzer's uber-boomer image. But today, Eliot Spitzer learned that loving James Taylor can be a double-edged sword. According to the Post, he blew up at Assembly Minority Leader James Tedisco on the phone last week, reportedly yelling, "Listen, I'm a f - - - ing steamroller, and I'll roll over you and anybody else."

Today's Daily News has an article reassuring the "straight" men who get a semi whenever they hear our newly sworn-in governor railing against corruption that they're not homos — they just have what's now called a "man-crush." A man-crush differs from a crush-crush in a few important ways, according to one rampantly heterosexual interviewee:

Ladies and gentlemen, your next governor. We're currently looking for topless pictures of Senator Clinton, but we can stop if you want.

Hey, Tom, wanna guest blog at Gawker on September 13? We figure now that you've got the whole "tags" thing down you're probably ready for action. Plus, you're gonna have a lot of time on your hands anyway.

• 2500 astronomers from 75 countries decide Pluto isn't a planet, but a dwarf planet. Copernicus has no comment. [CNN]
• 250,000 women from 1 country decide Michael Noer isn't a dick, but a COLOSSAL dick. Everyone continues to comment. [The American Prospect]
• Do The Killers need to be taken down a peg? Two new songs to help you decide. [stereogum]
• Speaking of killers, we present MyDeathSpace. [via bestweekever]
• This girl's taking a killing, but a finance intern in London acting a little snootay? Shocking! [TimesUK]
• Eliot Spitzer seems slightly less jovial than Tom Suozzi. [NYDN]
• Publicists and fashion bloggers congregate together. Ewwww. Watch from a safe distance. [youtube]

If you watched Monday night's debate between Democratic gubernatorial candidates Eliot Spitzer and Tom Suozzi, you need to get a fucking life. Seriously, New York offers a number of organizations where you can make new friends who share your interests and passions; look into them. But anyway, while you were sitting at home with your cats watching one of the more pointless political events of the season, you probably noticed that, when asked about smoking marijuana, both men affirmed that they had been on the pipe. (Spitzer, oddly, hasn't allowed his own experiences to change his view that we shouldn't permit the medical use of the drug, which makes sense: Why waste good pot on people who won't enjoy it?) In any event, we find it rather cheering that we've now reached a place in our politics where candidates can openly advertise their ganja consumption. Should Suozzi realize that he's fighting a futile battle and cut a deal with Spitzer to replace David Patterson as the ticket's lieutenant governor, we think we might have the perfect poster for the team.

• Coffee-chucking State Sen. Ada Smith also proficient at throwing phones. [NYDN]
• We're trying to think of something more embarrassing than plagiarizing Office Pirates for your MySpace blog. Maybe reading Office Pirates in the first place. Either way, a close run thing. [OP]
• Tom Friedman uses a bad word in his NYT column. Expect Maureen Dowd to try out "hot piece of twat" this weekend. [HuffPo]
• When it comes to rescuing American students, of course we'd save our bright young Ivy Leaguers first. There'll always be plenty more Rutgers grads to man the McDonald's. [ABC]
• Say goodbye to the man who invented the Philly cheesesteak. This is the other place: You can say goodbye in any language you want. [Philly.com]
• Eliot Spitzer goes after that all-important "your hippie dad" vote. [NYT]

Attorney General Eliot Spitzer caused a minor controversy with a recent (and unfavorable) comparison between upstate New York's economy and that of Appalachia. Governor George Pataki (yes, he's still there) took offense, claiming that "Appalachia doesn't have Empire Zones," which are New York State economic development programs. As it turns out, Appalachia does have Empire Zones since fourteen New York counties actually are part of Appalachia. Admit it, New Yorkers: You pretty much assumed upstate was like a scene from Deliverance all along, didn't you? Thank God we have The Times to confirm all our regional stereotypes.