Remember Jim Gilmore? Neither does the Republican Party.

How will Ted Cruz’s presidential campaign be remembered? Predicting history is a fool’s errand but it seems like a safe bet that Cruz will go down as the Republican candidate so openly distasteful that he made Donald Trump seem palatable.

Now that Donald Trump is officially the presumptive Republican nominee, the question is, who will he run with? This morning, he promised to choose someone with the skill set needed to be president.

It spent much of the day watching TV, checking out CNN before flipping to Rachel Maddow, a new favorite. To a Twitter egg like @mariavt, it probably seemed like a normal Wednesday, but on that Wednesday, an egg dreamed the future.

On Tuesday, obscure Vermont politician Bernie Sanders won Indiana’s Democratic primary, not that anyone seems to have noticed.

Perpetual former candidate for president Ted Cruz ran a very particular kind of campaign. A campaign that some might have called “nauseating” or “hard to watch.” But this evening, no one had a harder time watching than Heidi Cruz—because her husband’s elbow was jammed directly into her face.

With Ted Cruz out and Donald Trump its all but guaranteed nominee, the Republican National Committee is—however begrudgingly—preparing to refocus its sights on presumptive Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton. Which means it’s past time for John Kasich to officially bow out, RNC chairman Reince Preibus said in so many words Tuesday night.

Shortly after losing Indiana’s Republican primary on Tuesday, Ted Cruz announced that he is ending his campaign for president, leaving Donald Trump the party’s presumptive nominee.

In a crushing victory over his remaining rivals, Donald Trump won Indiana’s Republican primary on Tuesday, putting him well on his way to clinching the nomination with over 1,000 of 1,237 needed delegates.

A polite guy like Bernie Sanders won’t tell America’s ultra rich to fuck off, but he won’t tell you not to tell them to fuck off, either.

On Monday, Ted Cruz explained his bizarre reference to “the basketball ring” at a campaign rally in Indiana by confessing he isn’t exactly Mickey Gordon when it comes to making buckets.

Heidi Cruz engaged in some stellar verbal gymnastics on the campaign trail this morning, presumably to avoid implicating herself when the truth finally does come out. All of which is to say, Heidi Cruz declined to deny that Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer.

Carly Fiorina hasn’t been able to claim very many “wins” in her life. HP was a disaster. Her run for the Senate was a disaster. And most recently, her bid for the presidency was a disaster. But now, Carly Fiorina has made her gravest mistake of all: Accepting a position in which she’s forced to touch Ted Cruz constantly.

In January, Ted Cruz suggested “spanking” Hillary Clinton for not calling Benghazi a terrorist attack. And at a campaign rally on Sunday, Cruz once again advocated a hands-on approach to discipline, this time in response to a young protester yelling, “You suck!”

John Kasich—the Republican dick who seems like a non-dick by virtue being the least actively dickish—celebrated a rare victory this weekend, winning one out of one dates to prom.

Donald Trump, who launched his presidential campaign by accusing Mexican immigrants of “doing the raping,” once again demonstrated his expertise on the topic while discussing America’s trade relations with China this weekend.

At a rally in South Bend, Indiana yesterday, Ted Cruz continued his “I am a human” tour with newfound running mate Carly Fiorina. And as he took to the stage with his companion and progeny, loving, human father Ted Cruz reached down to his daughter, Caroline, to show the cameras just how much he cares. As any rational person would do in this situation, Caroline ran.

At a campaign rally in California on Thursday, Donald Trump once again told a chilling, long-debunked story about shooting Muslims with bullets dipped in pig’s blood.

Earlier today, Gawker’s Chief Youth Correspondent, Sam, stopped by the office to give us a little insight into the 2016 election through the eyes of our nation’s youth (and also because it’s take your kid to work day).