· The inspiration for Sylvester Stallone's Rocky says he's been dissed for years; now he wants a payout. He should just wait a bit longer until Stallone is Governor of New York. Then the old boxer can handle the action on the Sly v. Ahnold Governarial Punch-Em-Up. [NY Post]
· Sex dwarf Peter Dinklage admits he better chill with his libidinous press juggernaut: "I'm starting to sound like a slut." But really, is there anything the media likes more than a slutty dwarf? [Michael Musto]
· Charlize Theron a victim of theft at Soho House; $700 bucks of LaCoste clothing disappeared while in the House's care. Upstairs, Soho House members were being ripped off at the rate of 17 dollars a sandwich. [NY Daily News]

Looking Up Within the Heart of Manhattan Skyscrapers [rion]

At the Center for Architecture, crazy people have unveiled a giant model of Manhattan as it will look in the year 2025. Highlights from the future include: the giant gaping hole at Columbus Circle where the AOL Time Warner Pfizer Haagen Dazs Tower was recently demolished, new public housing on Wall Street for the burgeoning population of mecha-C.H.U.D.s, and the newly pornographized Conde Nast Square at 42nd and Broadway.
The Bolder, Bigger Apple [NY Post]

Dear California,

Sometimes comedy magazines publish rude pieces about Vegas cat-training magicians. Then sometimes those magicians get mauled viciously by their cats and you pull the piece from your comedy magazine. However, Google cares enough to preserve everything for us. Check out the Onion's deleted take on Roy: "I think I've added a great deal to the show. Without me, Siegfried would just be some magician with a bunch of dancing girls, laser lights, and fog machines. I was the one who added the cats, starting with our beloved Chico."
Thank You, But That Was Siegfried's Idea [The Onion, cached]

It's the middle of the new Daily News gossip slut Lloyd Grove's second week: how's he holding up?

As the polls of schadenfreude open this morning, comedian Margaret Cho has some kind words on her blog regarding the California election:

"The Limp Bizkit frontman is everything good about America," writes Eric Gillin, in a stirring defense of the importance of celebrity culture over at The Black Table. As for Mr. Durst himself — who, with Halle Berry, comprises one-half of the hot new powercouple Durstberry —, he summed up America best when said: "When you come from a place with no money like I did, you think that's gonna solve your problems. I still get the flu. I still get fat. I still have the same problems I had when I started. I thought not having money was the problem. But now I realize it's really about finding inner peace." Hey, Fred! I've got inner peace to spare. Wanna trade?
From Worst to Durst! The Fuck Up Who Fucks 'Em All [The Black Table]

· Hundreds of tiny dancers flee Vegas, freed by act of God from years of slavery to "outrageous" tiger-tamers Siegfried and Roy. [NY Post]
· Elton John, playing at a "star-studded" benefit at the MGM Grand in Vegas, was forced to go on after a politically-aspirant comedian, and wasted no time mauling said comedian into critical condition: "I love America, but if you want to know why the world hates America, I can give you two words: Dennis Miller." [NY Daily News]
· The award for most obscure blind item goes to Roger Friedman over at FoxNews: "A famous actress is in trouble." [Fox411]

Two gossip columnists enter, one gossip columist leaves:

Item One: Dwarves are horny too. Alleged former model Caitlin Baldwin — Wait! Caitlin from 1983's horror/Western B-movie Eyes of Fire? Oh my God, I love her work — evidently totally did that famous dwarf guy, Peter Dinklage. It seems he is a mack daddy.

· Vogue's Anna Wintour and Harper's Bazaar's Glenda Bailey were spotted canoodling at Da Silvano, which for those of you who live in the real world is the cultural equivalent of, hmm, the Hamburgler and Dave from Wendy's having a chalupa at Taco Bell. Sort of. Fortunately, the two women were... men. Hilarity ensued. [Intelligencer]
· The Post's Cindy Adams' big story today is an extended remix of last Wednesday's Lloyd Grove item in the Daily News: the upcoming marriage of Damian Loeb. I know, once again you're all thinking, who? Also known as Moby's best friend, prettyboy painter Damian sells his work at Mary Boone for half a mil, say Ms. Adams. Odd, in April, 2001 — before New York's recession — they were selling for $55,000. [Cindy Adams]

Robert DeNiro, Mr. Tribeca Film Festival, skips the 'hood for the Lower Upper East Side and this five floor, 20,000 square foot townhouse.
12 E. 69th Street [Corcoran]

Gawker Stalker sightings are sent in by readers. Send yours here.

Claire Zulkey interviews John Warner, the editor of McSweeneys.net. Mr. Warner explains how business is done in Eggers-land:

· California's next Governor admits being a sexual predator; Californians play deaf. A female Ahnold supporter sets feminism back 15 years: "I don't think Maria would have let him get away with anything. The Kennedy clan would have rubbed him out if he treated her that way." [NY Daily News]
· Donatella gets the "ugly people wear fur" treatment in Milan. Silly PETA: as if fashion people would care about an appeal to their vanity. [NY Post]
· Interview's editrix Ingrid Sischy takes no affront at being called the butch to her boss' femme in NY Mag's fashion roundup. How terribly convenient for them. [NY Post]

Russell, Jay-Z, and Diddy are throwing the good Reverend a party at Jay-Z's 40/40 at 25th and Fifth; you're totally invited.

·

New weblog Banterist has a fascinating array of statistics on New York City's sidewalks:
— A busy hot dog vendor can make over $80,000 a year. A busy Gastroenterologist treating food poisoning cases from that same vendor can make $300,000 a year.
— The skeletal remains of bicycle frames you see chained to various bike stands and signposts are all part of a massive art project by pointless modern artist Cristo.
— There is an 84% chance that an arrogant Sex & The City Production Assistant will let you pass if you counter their attitude with the realities of their salary.
New York Sidewalk Trivia [Banterist]

And she's off! Mmm. A meditation on Tina Brown's hair: that hits the spot. An official welcome back to the very official Ms. Spiers.