· Hundreds of tiny dancers flee Vegas, freed by act of God from years of slavery to "outrageous" tiger-tamers Siegfried and Roy. [NY Post]
· Elton John, playing at a "star-studded" benefit at the MGM Grand in Vegas, was forced to go on after a politically-aspirant comedian, and wasted no time mauling said comedian into critical condition: "I love America, but if you want to know why the world hates America, I can give you two words: Dennis Miller." [NY Daily News]
· The award for most obscure blind item goes to Roger Friedman over at FoxNews: "A famous actress is in trouble." [Fox411]