Kevin Federline's baby mama is asking $4.995 million for her penthouse loft in the famed Silk Building on E. Fourth St. in NoHo. She originally put it on the market last summer for $6 million, then cut the price to $5.25 million. Now she's slashing the price once again. (Hear that folks? $4.995 million! Spring liquidation! April closeout of her entire stock! No fetus left behind!! EVERYTHING must go!!!) Oh, and the New York Daily News made a funny:

·Ever since Paula Zahn s husband removed Pale Male from their window ledge, the hawk's been circling the Time Warner Center where Zahn has an office. Stalking Paula or just still waiting for a table at Per Se? [Lowdown]
·Tennis star Andy Roddick is sad because no one wants Andy s rod-dick. [Page Six]
·After years of ripping underlings a new one, publishing pitbull Judith Regan is now getting the ripped from the headlines treatment from Law & Order. [R&M]
·Apparently, the Gay Mafia is now after Microsoft honch Bill Gates. Consider our day made. [Page Six]
—NH

The FDA reapproves the contraceptive Today Sponge, which should hit pharmacy shelves in roughly four months. Translation: American women can go back to playing Spongebob-no-pants without condoms. Sluts everywhere rejoice (and we should know!)

Discos? Been there. Prison? Done that. Phillipe Starck-designed hotels? What d'ya think this is, a W? Studio 54 co-founder Ian Schrager says he wants to change the way people live and introduce a revolutionary new concept in urban living. Again. Only this time, there s a whole philosophy behind it, rather than bags of 'ludes in the safe and cash stuffed in the ceiling. The website for his latest venture declares:

Flash from Liz Smith:

·Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie sittin in a tree, H-U-M-P-I-N-G
[Page Six]
·Martha Stewart dons her best electronic cankle bracelet, attends gala, pisses off Feds. [NYP]
·Maggie Gyllenhaal: The new Jane Fonda? [NYDN]
·Tina Brown becomes US citizen. Husband Harry Evans no longer playing Andie MacDowell to her Gerard Depardieu. [Page Six]
·Contemporary fiction writers Amy Tam, Maureen Gordon, etc. petition Oprah to endorse their books. Also ask her to leave some of that Origins Ginger Body Souffle under their chairs. [NYDN]
·Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts: Soooo not friends anymore. [EL-K]
·New Pope Delivers State of the Communion Address: Orders priests distribute Jesus Juice and low-carb Bodies of Christ. (Well, no, but wouldn t that be kickass, girls?!) [NYT]
—NH

Donatella Versace is confessing her sins in the Sistine Chapel of fashion (the May Vogue) so late last week, Mother Superior Wintour cut a few lines for Post gossip monkey Jared Paul Stern.

With Jessica on vacation, we're turning the joint over to Very Special Guest Editors Michael Gross and Noelle Hancock for the week. Noelle fell into our arms in February after departing the Observer, and has served with honor since her first guest editor gig as our dazzling-yet-vitriolic Gawker Party Crash correspondent. Michael's new to the craft of blogging, but not to NYC media he's written for just about every bylined publication in town over the years, and authored the expos s Model and Genuine Authentic. His apartment porn epic, 740 Park, hits the shelves this fall. Show them the love, and there's a decent chance they'll reciprocate.

Next week, I will be on vacation. Unlike the previous "vacations" I've taken during my editorship, I will not be freelancing elsewhere for beer money. This is a bona fide break, over the course of which I will sleep, drink things adorned with umbrellas, and forget there's such a thing as Radar. In fact, I suspect that the natives of my island destination have never even heard of Topic A! And no, that island is not Manhattan.

· Freelancers Unite! oh, and take this online survey to help better your condition. [Working Today/Freelancers Union]
· Adventures in Friday commuting: "There is a delay on this F train due to a pregnant woman going into labor in the car ahead of us." [More Than Donuts]
· Advice on seeing The Interpreter at the Tribeca Film Festival this weekend: "Scratch it off your list." [Manhattan Transfer]
· A former "famous" blogger reflects on the glory of past glories. Getting a little dusty in here. [Jonathan Van Gieson]

Friday:
· Go see Elvis Costello, the man who paved the way for a generation of young hipsters to wear unsightly horn-rimmed glasses, at Beacon Theater tonight. [Paper]
· MoMA presents a past-and-present lineup of Sundance Film Festival, featuring works from Spike Jonze, Andrew Jarecki, and Peter Sollett. Be sure to sport the above-mentioned horn-rimmed glasses. [flavorpill]
Saturday:
· Dizzee Rascal, grime wunderkind and pepper spray afficiando, stops by Irving Plaza tonight. [flavorpill]
· Tonight's Shins show is sold out, but we're pretty sure you can beat up the kid with the Seth Cohen haircut reading Kavalier and Clay on the subway and steal his ticket. [Upcoming]
Sunday:
· LA-based comedy collective Mortified find humor in reading embarrasing diary entries, awful poetry, and hearbreaking tales of personal woe on stage. Go laugh at how marginally better your life is than theirs at The Tank tonight. [flavorpill]

A reader reports from what truly may have been the Most Celebrity-Starved Hollywood Party of All Time, last night's launch party for Inside TV magazine at White Lotus:

Special Gawker correspondent Andrew Krucoff, a man who came of age across his multivaried blog network, reports on three members of the next generation of NYC bloggers as part of his latest attempt to get laid to share the love.

Browsing Black Book, as one is wont to do when lunching at Schillers, our eyes are drawn to a line in the table of contents: "Anthony Haden-Guest attends an orgy." Quick as can be, we're on page 106, reading "Sex and the the New New York Scene":

With The Plaza hotel set to close its doors at the end of next week for an 18-month renovation, scavengers are offering Plaza memorabilia for sale on eBay: porcelain ashtrays (current bid: $82,) a pair of silver-plated mini-trays ($51), and a silver goblet ($10). (The virginity you lost during your Plaza debutante ball in 1974? Priceless.)
The Plaza closing nears, memorabilia prices rise [NewYorkology]

· Paramount Television (home of ET and The Insider), in an act of extreme pervitude, pays $800k for television rights to the footage from Mary Kay Letourneau's wedding to Vili Fualaau, her former elementary school student. And then the world ate its own soul and barfed it up on the banks of the Styx. [Lowdown]
· Jessica Simpson and Johnny Knoxville are totally playing doctor and showing each other their special parts during recess. [Page Six]
· The Hearst posse doesn't seem to know precisely how rich they are, so it's time for lawyers! [R&M]
· With the exception of the always reliable Matt Drudge, Roger Friedman is officially the only person who really cares about Michael Jackson anymore. [Fox 411]

As if Halloween in this city isn't pointlessly freaky enough.
David Blaine High-Wires in Manhattan This Halloween [Gothamist]
(Photo of Blaine entombed in ice in Times Square in Nov. 2000 courtesy Wired New York)

A Gawker correspondent reports from Mario Batali's still-trendy pizza joint Otto in the Village,

Special thanks to this week's sponsors, without whom we'd be fighting ConEd with tinfoil swords. Interested in reaching our incredible audience? More info here.

No plans for the weekend? Craigslist to the rescue: