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We're not mind-readers, so we can't pretend to have even the slightest idea what was going through their heads when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got together with photographer Steven Klein and decided the best thing for everyone would be a SIXTY PAGE PHOTO SPREAD in the July issue of W. The photo spread features Brangelina as a 1960s married couple, complete with three rented kids, a suburban spread, and, if you're lucky, some Kenyan jungle sex.

Guess Amish in the City didn't quite help the economy like they had hoped.

Anne Bancroft dies.

· Another winner from inside the mind of our favorite New York City bouncer [Standing On The Box]
· Observer's new political blog boggled by boring bested brass bidder [The Politicker]
· Google, as seen by the Swedish Chef [Google]—WL

From a spy:

Behold the sanctity of marriage.
Okay, so maybe they're not just from Jersey, but in case you thought we were joking about the Bridezilla promo cake-dig this morning in Times Square: We weren't.

Earlier, we introduced you to today's Look Book victim subject, NYU student and secret OlsenFriend Madison Brigode. But just because Madison is created in Mary-Kate's image doesn't mean she isn't worthy of our usual dissection — if anything, Madison is all the more deserving of our attention. This week, Intern Alexis rounds up AJ Daulerio, Timothy Gunatilaka, and Ian Chillag for their for an in-depth discussion of Madison's penchant for wearing dirty clothes.

Back in December, we tried our hand at selling some haute Gawker couture t-shirts — but, alas, they moved more quickly than Kevin Federline's manjuice. We didn't make enough and kinda sold out in, like, 23 minutes, thus leaving you all in a tizzy because we screwed you out of easy holiday gift options for your friends. Who knew we'd be so bad at shamelessly whoring ourselves?

· Evidently some people still, like, read books and stuff. We've never actually met these people, but it warms the cockles of our cold heart that they're still out there. Tonight, Hipster Handbook scribe Robert Lanham, former Gawker-bot Elizabeth Spiers, and some others read at the "Bookmark Now: Writing in Unreaderly Times" release party at Galapagos. [flavorpill]
· Sri Lankan hottie M.I.A. raps (while everyone else pretends to understand a single word she says) at S.O.B.'s tonight; her collaborator Diplo takes the stage at Rothko. [Upcoming x2]
· The Daily Show's Rob Corddry and Old School screenwriter Scot Armstrong take part in "Bro'in Out with Seth and Tony," a live talk/variety show hosted by, err, Seth and Tony. Sure beats Leno. [PSNBC]

Defamer operatives have filed reports from both Lindsay Lohan's and Jimmy Fallon's post-MTV Movie Awards parties (some of the drama hit Page Six this morning), which featured Lohan trying to set off a gang war (likely weapons of choice: hair pulling and fashion-sense disparaging) by her selective snubbing of "undesirables":

We tell ya, they'll blog about anything. Just launched: New York's Sixth, a real estate site devoted to Jersey City and Hoboken. This, of course, only makes sense; it's not like anyone is doing any Staten Island real estate blogs. (We'll resist making a mobile home joke here, thank you.) The most recent post describes a recent building in Jersey City set aside for artists; shockingly, they're having trouble filling it.

Ah, the things that academics who are too bored for any more disc golf or Minesweeper will come up with. The Pew Internet & American Life Project has released its "Buzz, Blogs and Beyond" study, which claims to help us come closer to understanding ... um ... well, we're not exactly sure. The study looked at 40 "influential" blogs and their impact on mainstream culture.

· Lindsay Lohan denies entry to Jessica and Ashlee Simpson at the incredibly shrinking starlet's MTV Movie Awards after-party; Jessica responds with hearty threats of southern-style ass kicking. Meanwhile, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes continue to express their love for Scientology by licking one another for the camera. [Page Six]
· Has Butter-czar Scott Sartiano ended his romance with Ashley Olsen? And if Ashley and her sister Mary-Kate can no longer dine at Sartiano's restaurant, will they ever eat again? [Lowdown (2nd item)]
· When talking about the lack of African performers for the next Live Aid concert, Rush & Molloy refer to Mariah Carey as the "only touch of flava" in the lineup. No, you're not still drunk: they really used "flava" without irony. [R&M]
· Model Tyson Beckford emerges from a car accident with cuts and bruises — oh, God, why must you hurt our pretty people? [NYDN]
· By drowning her in Kabbalah water, Rabbi Berg can keep Demi Moore quiet about her pregnancy. [Scoop]
· Meanwhile, the Page Six-Jeanette Walls ultrasound announces that the Britney and Kevin's Federletus will be a girl. [Page Six]

The Washington Post finally discovers the magic that is New York's most beloved, inexplicable socialite, "sweetheart" Fabian Basabe (waxwork likeness featured at right). Despite the fact that he may secretly be middle class, Basabe lives a luxurious life of sleeping, socializing, and doing damage control:

Mayor Bloomberg obviously had a lousy day yesterday, but he did get to say the following:

Well, frankly, we thought Manhattan had enough synchronized swimming already, thank you very much. As surely everyone on your TV this morning (including Angelina Jolie) has already told you, two old guys in suits we'd never heard of shot down the West Side Stadium plan yesterday. This not only means that the New York Jets will likely continue to play in (agh) New Jersey, but also that the odds that the 2012 Olympics will be here are similar to the odds that we'll see Mayor Bloomberg doing his next radio address lathered up in apple butter. (Though he did date Diana Ross, so you never know.)

It's 7 AM and if you're so insane as to be reading this right now, you have exactly one hour to get to Times Square, where the WE network is promoting their new season of Bridezilla. Apparently, women in wedding dresses will dive into a giant cake and dig around in it for money. Subtle! Would you like a side of snickering with your metaphor?

· No, no, you see, Tom Cruise is doing this on purpose. Of course! [NY Mag]
· Why do we keep hearing about New York editor Adam Moss being spotted drinking and "enjoying himself" past 11pm at last week's Garden of Ono after-party for the Mr. & Mrs. Smith screening? No Adam Moss we know would be spotted smiling in such a manner.
· When you crash your car into a famous person, here's how you can make money off it. [Slate]
· People are still talking about Jonathan Safron Foer. We think. We just like the picture of Radar on Radar. [YankeePotRoast]
· So, in other words: You Vassar dirtbags can just stay the hell out. [CraigsList]
· A strange man appears to challenge Coldplay to a fight. [NYT]—WL