· Trouble in paradise on the set of Kimora Lee Simmons' Life & Style show. Simmons has been catfighting for attention with Jules Asner, or "Miss Twin Set," as Kimora likes to call her. [Page Six]
· Law & Order alum Jerry Orbach talks to the Daily News about his prostate cancer. All of this is very sad, of course, but will probably not prevent the show from blocking off our streets every other day for their shoots. [NYDN]
· Memo to The Apprentice's Stacie J: if you're going to return a shitload of merch after wearing it, try not to be photographed in those very same garments on the prior night. [Page Six]
· Online gambling scion (our new favorite label, btw) Luke Weil gets bludgeoned with felony assault charges for beating up a Brit musician Tarka Cordell and artsy Hope Atherton's birthday party. [Lowdown]
· If accountants H&R Block offer Jeopardy champ Ken Jennings a deal to do their commercials, we'll kill ourselves. [Scoop]

· The South Asian International Film Festival kicks off tonight. At least Bollywood makes no qualms about the fact that its films are over-produced, over-acted, and over-long. [saiff]
· Three idiot NYU students wanted to produce a variety show. They used Craigslist to recruit the actual "performers." "I think it could get ugly very fast," says one. Oh, stop it. We're sure that the performance of "SWM-24" offering a "BJ" for some "Fun in the Powder" will make some very fine art indeed. [WSN]
· British techno and the electronica heads who love it: Swayzak and opeaning act Matthew Dear bring their show to Canal Room tonight. [flavorpill]

We hate to dip into Craiglist a second time today, but if someone in Hollywood is desperate enough to issue a cry for help into cyberspace, it's our duty to help out however we can.

Sightings are sent in by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

Well, color us more excited than a whore with a clean bill of health. Just in time for the holidays, it's Juicy Couture clothes for Barbie, specially crafted by the little hands of underfed Taiwanese babies. You can outfit Malibu Barbie in last season's terry tracksuits or, if you're feeling extra generous, dress Ken in those cashmere sweatpants. And oh, how the children are excited:

A reader snaps a photo of the Tomkat's latest offering, momentarily silencing the critics who insist that our city is bereft of culture. She also muses about the sequel that is sure to come (pun totally unintentional). "I haven’t actually seen it, but I would imagine that Vol. II clears up any confusion by the circular storyline introduced in Vol. I. SPOILER ALERT!!! Don’t read past this point if you plan on watching the movie. Bill gets drilled."

We've seen some truly strange shit on Craiglist, but we submit this mindblowing Missed Connection for your bewilderment:

Another nail in the coffin of that short-lived (but enjoyable) trend we used to call "blogging": 'Blog' Tops U.S. Dictionary's Words of the Year.

When we have an extra $14.5 million in real estate-ready cash burning a hole in our pocket, we immediately go to online bulletin board Craigslist—because obviously there's going to be something totally worthy of our dollars. Like something in, say, Williamsburg. Yeah, we hear that's a hot neighborhood and totally the sort of thing a Craigslist reader would be interested in! Tale of Two Cities writes:

· Everyone's hating on the pudgy people, including the formerly overweight designer Karl Lagerfeld, who expressed his displeasure with his H&M designs running up to size XXL. [R&M]
· We're guessing the Mets are hoping pitcher Kris Benson cheats on his stripper-cum-wife, Anna, as she's vowed to fuck the entire team if he strays from their marriage. [Page Six]
· Katie Couric's beau, jazz trumpeter Chris Botti, says that there is "definitely an advantage to dating someone in the entertainment industry." Not anymore, dumbass. [Lowdown (4th item)]
· Chronicling the fall of actor Jared Leto via blogging. [Page Six]
· Desperate Housewives star Nicolette Sheridan hawks a skincare product, but doesn't own up to her own plasticine face. [Scoop]

Gotta love those cruel photo editors.

Just in time for the sloshy holiday season, we're bringing back Guest Editor Matt Haber for an extended stint of packaging your bundles and bundling your packages. You may remember Matt from guest-editing Gawker when we recently traveled to Crawford, Texas. Well, we thought he was pretty good at spelling, so we decided, "Hey, why not make Matt come be our bitch?" You know — double the editors, double the, um, inanity! When he s not helping us hold up our merrily depressed heads, Matt will also be handling the heavy lifting, light dusting, and all of your gift-wrapping needs. And frankly, a little extra hetero-manpower never hurts around Gawker HQ.

· We totally love L.A. Especially when it's being blown to bits in one of the greatest botched bank robbery scenes ever filmed. That's right—perennial TNT late night classic and De Niro/Pacino-overacting fest Heat screens today at the American Museum of the Moving Image. [AMMI]
· Do you like video games? Do you like video games enough to go to KGB tonight to listen to people talk about why they like video games? If so, then Gamers Night is for you. The reading starts at 8:15 and "will go to whenever the night ends." Oh, those crazy console junkies! [flavorpill]
· Nothing says "Christmas is here" like a bunch of no-talent doucebags singing holiday carols at the Rockefeller tree lighting. Um, please pass the Percocets. [WNBC]

· Paris Hilton dyes her platinum weave brown, thus reducing her skank factor, oh, not at all. [People]
· Australians are so freaking smart, and not just because they drink all day. Australia's branch of Virgin Mobile is offering a service that blocks you from making drunk dials. Sign our asses up. [Engadget]
· Now that they've effectively killed off their old staff, Miramax is look for some new serfs to fire. [[Monster]
· In their free time, Conde Nasties collect soda cans. Presumably for the much-needed extra nickels. [Free Williamsburg]
· Martha Stewart's Living mag still thrives: "For the nearly two million women and gay men reading the pretending-we're-in-no-way-connected-to-a-convicted-felon title, the namesake's sentence is doing wonders for luring in subscribers." [Jossip]

Breaking! Strokes guitarist Nick Valensi WILL NOT be living in fancy-pants Brooklyn neighborhood Clinton Hill. Our sources say that in true Corcoran Realty form, Valensi was outbid on the townhouse even after signing a contract. Poor Nick; try as he might, he seems doomed to a fate of living within walking distance of Cafe Orlin.

· Just because you're famous doesn't mean you're above the Walk of Shame. Congrats to Pam Anderson for showing the world she did Stephen Dorff the night before. [Page Six]
· Nicky Hilton's ex-husband, Todd Meister, tells Lloyd Grove that he isn't using Nicky as comic relief and then ends the conversation with a solid, "Bye-bye." Um, what grown man (besides my dad) says "bye-bye?!" [Lowdown]
· Tara Reid begs Page Six to leave her alone, then identifies hockey star Sergei Federov as her new boyfriend. [Page Six]
· Duchess Sarah Ferguson spent the day after 9/11 ordering fancy lamps from Clary & Co. in the West Village. Retail therapy is still therapy, right? [R&M]
· Actor Dan Aykroyd spends his press junket railing against American consumerism. Fucking commie. [Scoop]

Our girl Lindsay Lohan soldiers on after her breakup with Wilmer Valderrama.

We always knew our Los Angeles brethren were ever-so-slightly behind the New York curve, but an article in today's LA Times has us wondering if there might be something to our suspicions of SoCal existing on a completely different planet. The western paper of record has finally made our Gray Lady look positively cutting edge with its analysis of hip (as "merited" by the release of two superfluous books exploring the coolness factor, Hip: The History and The Bohemian Manifesto), in which we learn there's a lot of similarities between Los Angeles 'hood Silver Lake and our own Williamsburg (boys in trucker hats! Girls with bangs!). All of which, of course, probably hits the final nail into the hipster's coffin.
What Is Hip? [LAT]

Sometimes, the Vogue machine veers off of its couture-laden path; an errant article about a humanitarian crisis or something as foreign as food will slip in amongst the pretty pages, and usually the results reflect little or no editorial understanding of, well, anything. So it comes as no surprise that art blogger Tyler Green's head nearly exploded upon reading about painter Elizabeth Peyton in an October issue of Vogue:

· Culture and lit critic Harold Bloom discusses his new book tonight at the 92nd Street Y. Coed undergrads are kindly asked to refrain from sitting in the first two rows. [92nd Y]
· You can't sit down to hear Frank Gehry chat it up with Parsons Dean Paul Goldberger tonight at New School University-all seats are sold out. But if you can get there early enough, you can stand in the back and make obnoxious asides to all the people around you who are pissed off they're standing. The talk is at 6:30, but get there early if you really wanna stand. [Parsons]
· "Topic Magazine depends on subscribers to publish each issue," notes the invitation to their reading tonight. This is a refreshing change from most other magazines, which depend on re-hashed content, slave labor, and monkey balls. Head over to the National Arts Club at 7:00pm to support their cause. [Topic]