"He's been very busy. He had nothing to gain by coming forward and saying anything," his manager said.

By now you've probably heard the news that the owner of the once trendy gourmet rice pudding emporium Rice to Riches has been busted for allegedly running a bookie business. The Post, true to their particular form of pun-tastic journalism reports:

Even we find it too easy to take the piss out of this Daily News headline.
Judge whizzes thru Jacko jury [NYDN]

Yesterday's Post explored the influx of high heels and weekend bridge-and-tunnelers to the Lower East Side social scene, a patronage shift signaling the sort of gentrification that would send the cool kids running to Astoria. But hipsters need not fear for the fate of their beloved neighborhood, as it sadly still has plenty of street cred to spare. Last night, after an evening of revelry at hipster ground zero Max Fish, 28 year-old Nicole duFresne, of Greenpoint, was shot to death in a botched robbery attempt, near the intersection of Clinton and Rivington. Now, we know the Post implied that this neighborhood was "already over," but, last time we checked, armed robbery and murder kept things "edgy."

According to Bloomberg News, Penthouse International Inc. is being sued by the Securities and Exchange Commission "improperly booking $1 million in revenue in the first quarter of 2003."

Great news, everyone! If you too are wracked with misery and woe over the imprisoned state of sheet-folding goddess Martha Stewart, you needn't feel such despair. To brighten everyone's spirits, the fine folks at Save Martha have purchased space on a man's body to bear a "Save Martha" tattoo. Behold the uplifting power of an eBay transaction:

Ebay is the unlikely vehicle for an aspiring novelist's harrowing (but still funny) tale of being mugged at 5:30 PM in Brooklyn. (Isn't Craig's List the preferred website for these sorts of narratives?) Here's the story in a nutshell, after the jump.

Those tireless kids at The Smoking Gun have done it again, having obtained 6 pages of disgustingly detailed evidence in the child molestation case against freakish pop star Michael Jackson. We've waded our way through the documents and if the following allegations are true, we're throwing out our copies of History. In the interest of journalism, we'd like to share some things that are sure to be the highlights of this upcoming courtroom drama. The best of the worst as compiled for your convenience after the jump.

Oh, no. Tomorrow's Christmas and you still haven't finished your gift shopping? You're so screwed.

While we're trying to figure out if actress Natasha Lyonne is still alive and, more importantly, if she has a publicist, a reader disputes the veracity of the Natasha-in-jail claim:

We're increasingly worried about the state of possibly troubled actress Natasha Lyonne. After calling every possible representative of Natasha, we still have no idea who's handling her shit. Now, having scored her father's email address, we're wondering if he's MIA as well, as we haven't heard from him:

People send us the darnedest things:

The jury is announcing the verdict in the Daniel Pelosi case right now. We'll give you three guesses as to what it is. And then we'll tell you as soon as we know.
Update: Pelosi Found Guilty.
Breaking News: Daniel Pelosi Verdict In [CBS News]