This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

Ebay is the unlikely vehicle for an aspiring novelist's harrowing (but still funny) tale of being mugged at 5:30 PM in Brooklyn. (Isn't Craig's List the preferred website for these sorts of narratives?) Here's the story in a nutshell, after the jump.

I'm twenty four. I don't want to die, and don't plan on doing it anytime soon. I'm two hundred pages into a novel, almost finished with a master's degree, and I've never made any of the mistakes which a lot of my peers did. I fought long and hard to make it to New York City and then make it in New York City.

As it happened, I became a bad New York Post article in my own mind.

And I wasn't absolutely self-absorbed, though you can imagine the amount of self-preservation which one has in such a situation. I was worried about my girlfriend, but she's the smarter of the two of us, and she handed her money to her mugger straightaway. He was calm and collected, unlike his partner, who was now accusing me of "playing" him, and alternating between threats of shooting and stabbing me.

The guy is selling the shirt he was wearing at the time—which he describes as a "piece of Brooklyn history! (No stains.)"—and he requests that "MUGGERS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BID!"

Buy the guy's shirt, and if you're a book agent, ask him about his novel.
Shirt I Got Mugged in Saturday Night in New York! [eBay]