• Is D'Agostino's secretly trying to get shoppers to murder irritating, slow-moving children? If sure, kudos. [You Can't Make It Up]
• A hot stud in Chelsea is looking to breed doggie style? Shouldn't that sort of thing be advertised on Craigslist, not on lampposts? Think of the children! [What About The Plastic Animals?]
• When email spam turns poetic — and not just little bit hot. [Uffish Thoughts]

• Our favorite form of hot chocolate involves a healthy serving of Kahlua. If you must go alcohol-free, however, someone has thoughtfully run down many of the city's best options. [A Brooklyn Life]
• Or, "21 Chick Lit Books that Would Only Sell in NYC." [You Can't Make It Up]
• Tips on getting past a coop board. One is conspiculously missing: Be rich. [Daily Slope]
• We're not overly interested in a restaurant review of (the poorly punctuated) Pair of 8's. But, dude, you're a member of a writer's guild that can get you free tix to that hot new The Squid and The Whale flick? Totally sign us up. [Mona's Apple]

• Now that an Ikea is opening in Brooklyn, all the cool kids will be reading "the unofficial Ikea webjournal." [Positive Fanatics]
• Giuliani will save your fucking soul, motherfucker — whether you want it or not. [The Politicker]
• The L will serve you free whiskey. You still won't read it. [NYC Stories]

• One The latest warning from a wise Chelsea homeless man: Eat salad, or your dick will shrivel up and fall off. [Living With Legends]
• Some of might complain about an upcoming "Art of Oral Stimulation" class that will only accept female students. But, in truth, most guys we know suck more than enough already. [The Tomato Diaries]
• If you turn your apartment into an art exhibit, you must be able to get some sort of tax deduction, right? This is what it takes these days to afford a place in the West Village. [What About the Plastic Animals?]

• If iPods are now a religion, New York City might be the most religious city in the nation. Suck it up, Salt Lake. [Adfreak]
• Allstate refuses to insure Brooklyn-ites due to fears of a giant storm. Relatedly, it seems Park Slope is considered to be an area not requiring evacuation in the event of a storm, so our precious natural resource of magazine editors will be safe, if uninsured. [Dope on the Slope]
• For all you freelancers starting to get ready to think about thinking about getting ready to do your taxes, remember: Think outside the pants. [Miscellaneous Objections]

• The NYPD has found a novel new way to keep the city safe — create neverending traffic approaching the Brooklyn Bridge. Because if you can get to Brooklyn quickly, that'd be letting the terrorists win. Or something.. [New York Hack]
• We're always in favor of new office-closing holidays. But we have absolutely no idea who this Vertan fellow was, or why a local post office is celebrating him. [Amy's Robot]
• A New York blogger is changing movie history, one free screening at a time. [You Can't Make It Up]
• Prince, our favorite dwarf-dipped-in-a-bucket-of-pubic-hair, may be planning a secret NYC show. [Product Shop NYC]

• The idea of not just knowing about, but advertising and attending an event that combined our mother, erotica, and the Happy Ending lounge makes our brain bleed. [Felber's Frolics]
• Do We Are Scientists always look like extras from 1970s gay porn, or just when they played the Mercury Lounge last week? [Brooklyn Vegan]
• An Observer reporter — and NYC-politics blogger — leaves her gig to go write a book about Burning Man, of all things. Isn't that so 1999? [The Politicker]

•There's yet another creepy '70s-porn-moustache man on the subway, and this time, it's Geraldo Rivera. [Englishman in New York]
• Blogging as Rorschach test. [Calla Lillie]
• Here's another reason to love geeks (as if you needed one): They figure out how to legally scam Citibank and Banana Republic. Fun! [Jen Is Famous]
• Is this a dog missing in Prospect Heights? Or is it "furry" porn, complete with bondage harness? [Daily Heights]

• A benefit to save Williamsburg from outside gentrifies seems a little, shall we say, late? In fairness, it's happening at Union Pool, where no rich-kid hipsters ever hang out. Ever. [Zeebahtronic]
• After a few hundred grand down the toilet, a statewide campaign, and a mocking Daily Show segment, Jersey finally has a new slogan. Of course, the slogan is the least of the state's marketing problems. [Copyranter]
• We usually assume that when rich guys offer to buy a woman dinner at Nobu, he's trying to nail her, not conspiring to arrange something for his brother. It seems charity really does begin at home. [Forksplit]
• We'll happily admit we've been pretty drunk on the subway. But how totally, completely, Kate-Moss-on-a-bender shit-faced do you have to be in order to lose your artificial leg? At least the MTA's looking for you. [Fish Drink Water]

• Mrs. Malaprop moves to Brooklyn and serves up bagels. [Only the Blog Knows Brooklyn]
• The proper New York response to the Frey scandal: what other books can I return for cash? [Lindsayism]
• Enough with hookers with hearts of gold, here's how to be a whore with a full stomach. [Belle in the Big City]
• Last year the big reveal was Valerie Plame. This year, it's Copyranter. We think he'd look better in a white headscarf and sunglasses. [Copyranter]
• Not that we're lobbying for any particularly candidates (ahem), but we just thought you'd like to know that, inspired by Mr. Blackwell, a well-dressed blogger contest is going on. [Shoe Lover]

• Why is it that Eliot Spitzer can announce his plan to call us repeatedly, even though we really don't want him to, but if we did that to him they'd call it stalking. Not that we know this from personal experience or anything. [The Politicker/NYO]
• Desperate to be overcharged for organic food but don't know where in Brooklyn to shop? Thankfully, someone's made a list. [Park Slope Writer]
• We always thought an influx of gays was what signaled true gentrification. To some, though, the signifier is apparently whitey. To each his own stereotype, we guess. [The Daily Heights]
• NYU's advertising is dishonest and misleading? Say it ain't so! [Copyranter]
• And here's perhaps our favorite blog comments exchange ever. [Gothamist]

• Blogger creates illustrated list of "Things That Were Good About the Transit Strike." Forgets one item: Gave bloggers something to write about for months afterwards. [Heaneyland!]
• So apparently there's a magazine about how great life is in Brooklyn. Isn't that sort of what friends in Park Slope are for? [A Brooklyn Life]
• Need a long, convoluted excuse for why people use online-dating sites in New York? The short version: To meet someone, and get laid. [The Tomato Diaries]

• While we we're totally down with the concept, we're not sure we'd actually by willing to eat anything grown in the soil of Red Hook. [Brownstoner]
• Aside from terrifying us at the in-depth nature of his rumination on squirrels, this makes us wonder: there are people who actually, purposefully feed squirrels in this city? Why not just release pregnant rats into the gutter and get it over with? [Dope on the Slope]
• Haven't read enough about the Parker Meridien's Burger Joint? Here's 650 more words on it, which probably could have been summarized as: Myeh. [Twenty Bucks A Day]

• Pataki's been spending so much time on the potential presidential trail, sometimes he forgets he's in New York. [The Politicker]
• To the dog that attacked this Burberry-clad monstrosity: Thank you. If only you could have gotten the boots, too. [Trophy Wives Anonymous]
• This is a public service announcement reminding you that even homeless people on the subway need a cuddle sometimes. [Calla Lillie]

• With John (occasionally "Cougar") Mellencamp and Stephen King collaborate on a Broadway musical, we're not sure which will suffer greater harm: the English language or the human ear. Because somehow we can't see Mellencamp as the guy to rescue King from Carrie ignominy. [GalleyCat]
• There are many sad parts about the Rodents of Perry Street sending a former Village Gal off to Weehawken, undoubtedly the saddest is that she has convinced herself calling it "The Hawk" somehow makes it cooler. [Felber's Frolics]
• Only in New York would people need a guide to sending each other tacky, one-line, come-on text messages. We love this city. [Tales of a Delectable Redhead]

• The web finally fulfills its promise to bring class equality to the world: new Google mashup allows ridiculously rich NYC parents to find $10 million houses near the ritziest prep schools. [The Walk-Through]
• The Daily Show's Ed Helms tries to find a new gig — on the L-train platform. [Yeti Don't Dance]
• As though Starbucks would only put one Starbucks anywhere: New Yorker readers challenge the Talk of the Town assertion that there's only one Starbucks in Harlem. [Emdashes]
• Surprise, surprise: Popular brownstone-Brooklyn restaurant suddenly raises prices. [A Brooklyn Life]

• Too lazy to check out the Saks windows yourself? That's what photobloggers are for. [NYC Stories]
• Finally, a Christmas tree that will fit in your studio apartment. [A Brooklyn Life]
• With Cyndi Lauper joining Alan Cumming in the cast, the Threepenny Opera opening in March will officially be the gayest thing on Broadway this season. [New Yorkology]

• Think you had a bad commute? Unless your cabbie got punched in the face and started seeing God, trust us, this girl's was worse. [You Can't Make It Up]
• When we see people making out on the subway platform, all we can think is, "Ewww... don't you know people piss on the floor down here?" Some people, however, find it cute. [Towleroad]
• And the award for most creative way to get personal gain from the strike goes to this guy, who's claiming to stage a sympathy strike. [The Politicker]

• Share your "the Transit Workers can bite me" story. Or just read about publicists getting run down in the streets and laugh. [Galley Cat]
• Here's an idea for how all the assholes bitching about their inconvenience can protest the strike: self-immolation! It's very Buddhist monk, which is in this year. [Opinionistas]
• You're going to be walking today, anyway. So it's the perfect time for a food tour of the Lower East Side? [Cityrag]

• Ah, the dreaded slug slip: Times beats us to the punch, starts making fun of its own stories. [Amy's Robot]
• Do you want to be in a Maximo Park video in NYC this weekend? Do you even know who Maximo Park is/are? We don't. But, man, apparently iPod DJing is, like, sooo tiring. [Yentell - Adventures in Shagedlia]
• No wonder they have to give away these kittens. Doesn't everyone know consumers in Park Slope only buy those new hybrid electric kittens?
[Daily Slope]
• We are, apparently, pimps. And you're whores. [Copyranter]