As you impatiently listen to the clock tick off the seconds until your Thanksgiving holiday, distract yourself from your daydreams of stuffing and candied yams with a look at the weekend's box office numbers:
As your Hollywood employer has probably decided that this Veterans Day doesn't warrant the show of respect of a day off (strike-related layoffs notwithstanding), celebrate the sacrifices of those who've served our country in the most meaningful way available to you: by observing a moment of silence as you review the weekend's box office numbers:
On this gloomy Monday morning, take a moment to review the weekend's studio strike fund box office results, allowing yourself to momentarily ignore the coordinated chants of the picketers outside your place of employment.
Ease your disappointment from walking into a Halloween party this weekend to discover that no fewer than five other people had been stricken by the same "California wildfire" brainstorm that led you to char your favorite souvenir Malibu t-shirt by reviewing the weekend's box office numbers:
Take a quick peek out of your window: If the surrounding area is not being ravaged by wildfires, proceed to the weekend's box office numbers and begin your week:
Let the weekend box office numbers be your much-needed rays of sunshine on this gloomy Monday morning:
Kick off this Columbus Day holiday—don't worry, no one is off today, so you're not alone—with an invigorating stroll through the weekend's box office numbers:
We'd wish you a happy Monday, but we know you'd just see through that transparent attempt at merry-making on the bleak beginning of a seemingly unending work week. So: have a look at the weekend box office numbers, doing your best to ignore the five days of pain that await you:
On this wintry, late-September Monday morning, take a sip of your cocoa, adjust your scarf, and try to keep warm in these frigid low-60 temperatures as you review the weekend box office numbers:
Even though most domestic entertainment consumers chose to spend the entire weekend researching their Emmy pool picks, the multiplexes remained open, hoping to lure those fatigued from the demanding intellectual exercise with pleasant, air-conditioned places in which to take study breaks. These are the weekend numbers:
Following a slow weekend at the box office, we must ask: Have you abadoned Hollywood, or has Hollywood abandoned you? Ponder this question as you review the box office numbers:
Another Monday morning, another coronation of a new box office king. Raise a hand to salute your new multiplex master as you review the weekend numbers:
There are perhaps no harder Monday mornings than the ones of mid-to-late August, when we all know we're showing up for work weeks where nothing interesting can possibly happen. Distract yourself from the drudgery with the weekend box office numbers, then put your head down and nap until Friday afternoon:
Like a stun-gun set to "wake up" applied directly to your genitals, enjoy the jolt of the weekend box office numbers:
Monday morning! Nope, even saying it with forced enthusiasm doesn't make it seem any less painful. Take your mind off the bleakness with the weekend box office numbers:
Through the Darkness of yet another Monday morning comes the Light of hope: the weekend box office numbers:
On this most magical of Monday mornings, carefully remove your wizard's robe, drape it over the back of your desk chair, and begin your week of toiling for Hollywood's version of Lord Voldemort by taking a tour of the weekend's box office numbers:
It's time to accept that Hollywood's Fourth of July vacation is finally over and the rest of the summer awaits; try and put off daydreaming about your Labor Day hiatus long enough to review the weekend box office numbers:
This Monday morning is no less painful than any other on the calendar, but at least you only have to survive 48 hours before you're rewarded with a day off. Cling to the weekend box office numbers as you try to make it through the excruciating two days that stand between you and illegal firework displays, backyard barbecues, and egregious midweek drunkenness:
