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On this wintry, late-September Monday morning, take a sip of your cocoa, adjust your scarf, and try to keep warm in these frigid low-60 temperatures as you review the weekend box office numbers:

1. Resident Evil: Extinction - $24 million
As far as we can tell from Resident Evil: Extinction's promotional materials and abbreviated online summaries, the third installment of the video game-derived series concerns Milla Jovovich's attempts to navigate the post-Apocalyptic Las Vegas Strip, blasting away at marauding hordes of undead blackjack dealers, zombie strippers, and weirdly normal-seeming buffet cashiers who've been infected by a horrific virus.

And in the film's climactic battle, Jovovich faces her greatest challenge to date: a confrontation with a cartoonishly muscled, 30-foot-tall prop comic Carrot Top (the virus, it seems, has unpredictable effects on hacky Strip performers—see also the three-headed Danny Gans shown feasting on the brains of some tourists from Nebraska) and Siegfried and Roy's albino demon-tigers; in a satisfying conclusion [spoiler alert], the heroine is able to save the poor animals, but dispatches the orange-haired Colossus by inducing him to impale himself on a giant meat thermometer we've earlier seen featured in his act.

2. Good Luck Chuck - $14 million
While we're not huge fans of the aforementioned Resident Evil, franchise, we're grateful to Extinction for keeping Dane Cook—whose presence on the big screen makes us long for the subtle comedic charms of Dax Shepherd—out of first place; even in jest, we couldn't handle typing "DANE COOK: THE BIGGEST MOVIE STAR IN THE WORLD" in this space.

3. The Brave One - $7.425 million
Now that we've passed on the opportunity to watch Jodie Foster embark on a streak of Baconesque revenge-killings for a second straight weekend, we fear we may never get around to seeing how many bad guys she had to gun down in cold blood to finally get her dog back.

5. Eastern Promises - $5.747 million
After watching a menacingly inked, butt-naked Viggo Mortensen grapple in a steam room with a couple of Chechnyan gangsters, we're pretty sure he was just being modest when he said he couldn't take Borat in a naked wrestling match.

6. Sydney White - $5.323 million
We blame our total ignorance of this movie on the distressing lack of a pre-release scandal involving topless Amanda Bynes photographs being leaked on the internet.