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Monday morning! Nope, even saying it with forced enthusiasm doesn't make it seem any less painful. Take your mind off the bleakness with the weekend box office numbers:

1. The Simpsons Movie—$71.850 million
It seems that Fox's clever promotional onslaught—the conversion of selected 7-11s into Kwik-E-Marts, the giant Homer rendering in the English countryside poised to assault the genitals of an ancient fertility god with a donut, and the ambitious strategy of teasing the film's opening by running 18 years of half-hour "mini-films" on their television network to create awareness for their feature—has paid off handsomely, as The Simpsons Movie's nearly $72 million opening weekend far surpassed the safe $40-50 million projections the studio had claimed.

Emboldened by this runaway success, Fox is mulling cutting the buzz-building lead time for a sequel in half, which should put The Simpsons Movie II in theaters in the summer of 2016, a window that should allow enough time for the construction of a fully functioning Springfield metropolis, host to the next installment's premiere, to be constructed at the border of Maine, Ohio, Nevada and Kentucky.

2. I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry—$19.063 million
We'd take The Simpsons Movie's lone*, tossed off, pitch-perfect gay joke (we won't spoil it for you, but if you've seen the movie, we're sure you know what we're talking about) over 110 minutes of Adam Sandler and Kevin James exploring every way in which it's icky for hetero firefighters to pretend to be lovers.

3. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix—$17.065 million
A sad thought: With only two books in the Potter franchise left for Warner Bros. to adapt into movies, the studio probably stands to make only about another $1.5 billion or so in worldwide box office receipts. Let's all send them $10 each to lessen the blow of losing their cash cow.

4. Hairspray—$15.550 million
While we've previously mentioned how disturbing we find seeing John Travolta transformed into Edna Turnblad, in truth, it's the only the second-most terrifying thing we've seen him do.

9. I Know Who Killed Me—$3.4 million
No matter how badly a movie performs, there's always a silver lining: at least Lindsay Lohan's reps can claim that she can open a movie stronger than Big Boi and Faizon Love, a fact which may open up a new career in urban comedies for the troubled actress.

[*OK, maybe not so lone! See comments below.]