On Wednesday, we passed along a rumor that Kim Masters, Esquire's Hollywood columnist, was let go because "1) she couldn't write and 2) wasn't generating any buzz with what she did write. Also, she kept complaining to them about everything, and they just got sick of her." According to Esquire editor-in-chief David Granger, that rumor was wrong on all counts. Master's column went the way of Gretchen Mol's It-Girl status because "after a while, Hollywood executives are only so fascinating." So true, so true. But give them a snout full of blow and put them underneath a hooker, well, then we're cooking with gas. We digress.

Vanity Fair writer James Wolcott has directed his eyebrows towards the internet, having started a brand-new blog. The site mirrors VF design (the fonts, the images, make it stop, ahh!) and its tone matches that of Wolcott's usual work for the mag. While VF has largely ignored the internet, Wolcott's new venture perhaps signifies the invasion of editor Graydon Carter's foot soldiers into our precious haven.

We're wondering what's going on over at the New York Post lately. They've won an award for Brightest Headline (from the redundantly-named New York State Associated Press Association, no less) for their brilliant piece "Hurt In the Line of Doody," which is about a courthouse clerk injured while in a bathroom stall. And if that's not retarded enough for you, what about the headlines as of late? A reader points out:

It's official: Jesse Oxfeld, the Editor-in-Chief of online media hive MediaBistro, has left the building. We thought it was because his little fingers were tired of punching up sexy interviews and hot job listings, but he's really just moving on to Editor & Publisher where we suppose he'll be doing more of the same. We did some "real" journalism and got a quote from the Ox himself:

Yesterday we pointed to an Observer article in which socialite-heiress-whatever Elisabeth Kieselstein-Cord made a comment identifying our mayor as Rudy Giuliani and, well, we were sorta nasty about it. You know, that's how we do things around here. Elisabeth, however, kindly sent us a copy of an email to Observer writer George Gurley that has to be the most awesomely-long rambling we've seen in a long time. When she writes, "I think that it might have been best to have the RNC anywhere from a school playground to Auschwischtz," you know you have something truly special on your hands. More genius after the jump.

We hear a rumor that Hollywood reporter Kim Masters is out at Esquire after they failed to renew her contract. Says a source, "From what I hear, Esquire felt 1) she couldn't write and 2) wasn't generating any buzz with what she did write. Also, she kept complaining to them about everything, and they just got sick of her." Another source offers a capsule review of Masters: "Good reporter, bad writer, unpleasant person." L.A. Press Club members, start firing out those resumes! You might want to play up your cheery disposition if you're going to apply for the job.

Just when Page Six's Ian Spiegelman fades into obscurity, Daily News gossiper Lloyd Grove shuts up about the Post for two minutes, and all is pseudo-calm on the tabloid front, we receive word of a shocking new development: Hudson Morgan, Grove's right-hand man, and Page Sixer Chris Wilson are meeting at the bike racks for an after-school throwdown. Our source reports that Morgan and Wilson "got into a bit of a brawl at one of the Republican parties, culminating in Chris spitting on Hud." This is really frightening — we hear Chris' saliva is laced with venom! Let's all pray the poisonous spittle hasn't sent a convulsing Hudson to Beth Israel!

BREAKING! PAGE SIX'S RICHARD JOHNSON RIDES SUBWAY, READS DAILY NEWS' LLOYD GROVE! From a reader comes a stunning description of the man behind the myth:

We've received word that Wenner Media overlord Jann Wenner is coming back next week from a jaunt amongst some far-off islands and, now that the big J is tan and rested, he's ready to rock some desk inspections. Cubicle minions have been warned and we're certain the offices of Us, Men's Journal, and Rolling Stone are currently being soaked in Pine Sol to guarantee that necessary Wenner gleam.

We had to run out and grab a jumbo pack of Depends when we read about Friendster's print manifestation: Me magazine, the latest venture coined by some downtown fashionistas looking to, oh, connect or something. The mag will be published on a quarterly basis and feature a different editor each time — and, predictably, said editor will feature all of their friends in that issue. The magazine's table of contents will even feature a flowchart explaining how featured people are connected. Co-creater Angel Chang says, "We don t like to say it s Friendster," but, um, it totally is. And, just like Friendster, we're betting it'll be mildly interesting for about 30 seconds before it bursts into flames of utter irrelevancy.
Memo Pad [WWD (2nd item)]

The Boston Globe talks to David Brooks, New York Times columnist and professional talking head, about how he manages to keep writing at such a fruitful pace. We always thought that super-productive writers were blowing rails off of their laptops, but maybe not:

Enjoy some extravagant Hollywood home theater porn courtesy of the NYT Sunday Magazine. Above, Wilmer Valderrama takes in a movie as three struggling actresses are forced to stand against a wall and admire his gigantic equipment. Strangely, girlfriend Lindsay Lohan nowhere to be found. The best part: Valderrama did the room's decorating, carefully choosing that striking Summer Catch poster (left, co-starring one Wilmer Valderrama) all by himself.

Man, we hate this Mary Schmich woman over at the Chicago Tribune! Who the fuck does she think she is, questioning the media's willingness to take freebies during the convention? Why else would anyone cover this unsexy RNC business were it not for the complimentary goodies? Look how she rides her high horse around the Time-Warner party, bursting everyone's bubbles:

Former 'Maxim' editor Dave Itzkoff's memoir Lads gets the standard reviews, but we don't really care about much after the first paragraph, which might as well be an introduction to New York media:

It's been at least 36 hours since we've pointed out the absurdity of either of the Hilton sisters, so let us point you in the direction of big sis Paris' latest pitfall: her talks to hawk Burger King have come to halt. But why would anyone not want skeletal Paris to pitch their fatty food? "Given the extreme baggage she carries, it was killed," said one Burger King marketing exec. Wait, certain elements of that baggage are exactly why Paris can shove Whoppers in her mouth and never gain a pound — isn't that what Burger King wants?
Burger King Backs Away From Paris Hilton Talks [AdAge (reg. req'd)]

Today, some LAT editor is guilty of attaching the most inappropriately restrained headline to a sensational story. The headline in question: "Sony Pictures Exec, Wife Liable in Labor Lawsuit." The story: A Sony Picture VP James J, Jackson and his wife were found "liable for subjecting Nena Ruiz to involuntary servitude and for negligence and fraud."

Earlier this week, Slate's Jack Shafer unleashed a virtual love-fest on the late A.J. Liebling, prolific journalist and press critic for the New Yorker. Jay Rosen, of weblog Pressthink, wonders why Shafer hasn't come close to matching Liebling's legacy:

Little did we know that men's mag Maxim is a bastion of service journalism. In order to fight declining sales in the UK, the magazine's revamp will include a section called "Little Black Book," which will feature 101 attractive and eligible women. The ladies, it seems, are so eager to have their faces be reduced to masturbatory fodder that, in exchange for merely being featured, they are all willing to go out on dates with the glossy's actual readers. No details on how exactly this service will be executed, but we imagine that it'll result in a lot of restraining orders.
Maxim Editor Promises Girls For Readers [Reuters UK]
Related:
Date A Maxim Girl [Fleshbot]

· Rolling Stone founder Jann Wenner almost sues former editor Ed Needham for $30K, even though Needham's contract guaranteed him the money. Neat, a pretend lawsuit! We're sure this has nothing to do with losing Needham to sweaty Maxim mag. [NYP (last item)]
· Details editor Dan Peres may have a moratorium on the word "metrosexual," but he still obsesses over nose hair. [Baltimore Sun (reg. req'd)]
· Newsday's mini-scandal with auto advertisers continues. The $125 million lawsuit against the paper has been amended to include some sexy conspiracy charges. [NYP]
· More signs of the forthcoming apocalypse: clothing chain H&M will publish a biannual "magazine." [The Daily]

This just in: The Washington Post's managing editor, Steve Coll, has stepped down and is "concentrating on writing." If he's concentrating like we're concentrating, we know he really means that he's going to nurse daquiris while sitting around in his skivvies. Good luck with that, Steve! The farewell note after the jump.