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We've received word that Wenner Media overlord Jann Wenner is coming back next week from a jaunt amongst some far-off islands and, now that the big J is tan and rested, he's ready to rock some desk inspections. Cubicle minions have been warned and we're certain the offices of Us, Men's Journal, and Rolling Stone are currently being soaked in Pine Sol to guarantee that necessary Wenner gleam.

It should go without saying that we would die — yes, die — for some stealthy camera phone pics of this upcoming event. And, in case you're wondering about the specific guidelines for a spartan, Wenner-approved workspace, we've got the exclusive, anal-retentive memo after the jump. Beware the Post-It note!

New York Office Employees Only

Jann will be returning on Tuesday, September 7th and will be expecting to find a clean and organized office space. Members of the G&A Staff will be walking the space for the remainder of this week to inspect all cubicles and offices and ensure that all clean-up requirements are being met. Below are a list of the basic guidelines for clean-up:

1. Keep desktops clear of all unnecessary items. Do not store anything above the overhead compartments.

2. All affixed items are limited to corkboards and should not extend over the borders of the corkboards. Nothing should be affixed to the glass partitions, including post-its.

3. Personal items, novelty items, etc. should be kept to a bare minimum and displayed neatly.

4. All aisles and floors underneath desks should be clutter free.

5. Wire trays are to be kept to a bare minimum and not over-stuffed.

6. Overhead cabinets and closets should be kept in a closed position at all times.

7. At the close of the business day, all work areas should be left in a neat and orderly fashion. Personal and confidential materials should be stored away.

JSW takes this very seriously, and the more satisfied he is with the results, the happier we'll all be. If you have any questions or need assistance with the clean-up feel free to call me at ext. XXX. Thank you in advance for your cooperation.