Yesterday we posted a plaintive query from a frustrated reader: Why couldn't he find the "creamy, sweet bliss" of Cadbury Creme Eggs anywhere in Manhattan? Many of you immediately identified with his plight, but some of you also dismissed it. Who was right, we wondered? Are there eggs, or are there no eggs? We had no idea. Then last night, finally, came photographic proof. This is Duane Reade at 73rd and Third, at 9:30 p.m. There are eggs! Yay!

We know this video is advertising some Purim event at Makor, the younger and (theoretically) hipper branch on the 92nd Street Y on the West Side. But we have no idea what the event is. We just know that the shtick of the Channel 35 phone-sex commercial that instead stars two nice Jewish girls — one in a Brandeis sweatshirt — is pretty damn funny. "I'll do anything you want," the redhead says suggestively while music pulses in the background, "as long as it doesn't stain." Oh, we like it when you talk clean to us.

Oh, Internet, you are so cute. Over the weekend, the Button-down-wearing White Guys of the Net made their blatantly disclaimered April Fool's Day gags:

This year's Google prank: Google Romance. It's actually witty.

It's Saturday, it's hitting 75 degrees in the Valley, and revelers have taken to the streets. Why the hell are you on the Internet?

The future is here — not in that sexy Bruce Sterling way, more in the "Let's pre-post our April Fool's jokes on a weekday" way. After all, every day is April Fool's Day on the Internet. This year, Google's a big target (gee, who knew?):

Bagpipers spotted warming up on West 45th Street. Sure, their Danny Boy is good. But their Hava Nagilah is better.

Did you think we'd let Black History Month go unmentioned? No way, not us. OK, well, actually, we did. But now that February is over we thought it'd be a good time to look back on the month that was. Then we realized we had no idea how to do so. Time to call in Gawker's Special Correspondent for Brown-People Issues, The Assimilated Negro.

The Coop, clearly in his element on St. Charles Avenue.

This memo went out to the Times business-news staff Friday afternoon from the department's administrator:

• London papers cater to their demos. [BigShinyThing]
• If you're so lucky as to have a lover this Valentine's Day, remember: He spent last night cheating on you. [WSJ]
• Stoners fight for the right to, uh, be stoned: Free the Cartoon Network, dude. [SetCartoonFree]
• Big dick wants to shoot you in the face, give you a heart attack, and hit you up for some more contributions before you die. [Craigslist]
• Crisis: the Fashion Killers show has been cancelled! Could Laura Albert not find someone to play celebrity DJ and Fake Writer JT Leroy in time? Not exactly — we hear Knoop was at the show last night, though not in her Leroy costume. [Fashion Killers]
• Downtown softcore parties Rated X and Hot Fuckin' Pink might be a bit too pervy for the owners of Scenic. Poor Gawker paparazzo Nikola Tamindzic may have to shoot pornography elsewhere. [VV]

Yes, we saw it, too:

It's Valentine's Day, which means Nicole Richie is finally bringing her inexplicably tacky Dr. Pepper promowhore tour to our fair city. Go get a sample of the calories that she dare not touch:

Metro NY — that would be the green-accented mediocre paper you're accosted with as you try to get on the train — today has a piece on the annual Valentine's Day gay-rights protest staged by Marriage Equality New York. Cathy and Sheila Marino-Thomas, who have been together for 13 years and have a six-year-old daughter, were scheduled to request a marriage license from the City Clerk's office at 8 o'clock this morning. They were also scheduled to be turned down, of course, which is what makes it a protest.

Lucky us: the New York health board announced yesterday that it's currently developing NYC-branded condoms. And what will these condoms look like? Gothamist asks the important questions:

In honor of this grand, romantic, and highly profitable fabricated holiday, Gawker promises to bring you a day full of overpriced truffles and long-stemmed roses — just because we love to love. Let us whisper sweet nothings in your ear:

If you're still shopping for a V-Day gift for your favorite newshound — or, hey, if you're looking to buy us a little something — we've found the perfect piece of jewelry: The Anderson Cooper pendant. Priced to move at just $20, this custom-made bauble is, like the man itself, stylish, compassionate, and rightfully indignant (if not, in this case, topped with silver). Plus, we're pretty sure giving it will get you laid.

Get them for that special, overpaid loser in your life.

This morning Punxsutawney Phil, the ugly groundhog upon which a nation of idiots places its springtime hopes and fears, saw his shadow. Six more weeks of unseasonably warm winter, goshdarnit. Whatever. We can't wait for the Doppler 17 Robot Edition to crush that fucking rodent, really.

Valentine's Day is, of course, a major national holiday, an earthshaking news event, and one of the most important things going on in the world next month. So it makes perfect sense that seemingly every publicist in town is pegging every ridiculous consumer-product pitch to this flood-the-zone story. A friendly tabloid scribe reports that he's received no fewer than 48 V-Day-pegged press releases — three of which even arrived back in December.