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Lucky us: the New York health board announced yesterday that it's currently developing NYC-branded condoms. And what will these condoms look like? Gothamist asks the important questions:

"Will the subway map be on it?" "Will be it rude and nasty?" "Will it be strong and stoic because of September 11?" "Will there be a cobble-stone textured one, for a little Greenwich Village flair?"

And wouldn't Battery Park make the perfect resevoir tip? Alas, only the wrapper will bear a city-specific design. Naturally, the branding will only discourage New Yorkers from having protected sex — but at least we can keep the tourists from spreading their diseases.

New York City's Very Own Condom [Gothamist]
New York, the City, Meets New York, the Condom [NYT]