This morning Punxsutawney Phil, the ugly groundhog upon which a nation of idiots places its springtime hopes and fears, saw his shadow. Six more weeks of unseasonably warm winter, goshdarnit. Whatever. We can't wait for the Doppler 17 Robot Edition to crush that fucking rodent, really.

Related: Last year, conservatives questioned Phil's sexuality, arguing that he had lived alone for so long that he was some sort of gay icon. Unfortunately, this year brings more evidence to the case that Phil's on Team Aiken:

This image was lost some time after publication.

Gobbler's Knob? Our gayest gay bars aren't even that graphic.

Breaking: Punxsutawney Phil Still Gay [Towleroad]
Earlier: Gay Groundhog Day]