After the Observer ran a profile on "schmooze" master Jonathan Cheban, who professes to be first-name-basis friends with "MK" and the like, we realized that, in all likelihood, no one on earth likes this man. As such, another reader writes in with an account of Jonathan Cheban, dedicated celebufriend and coattail-rider of the rich and fabulous:
Blue Water Grill, the popular Union Square restaurant favored by patrons willing to wait an hour just to be served mediocre seafood, seems to be having a bit of trouble. An account on the website Shameless Restaurants tells of a BR Restaurants (the company that owns Blue Water, Vento and Ruby Foo's, among others) owner (Stephen Hanson?) berating the staff for anonymous, negative comments made about working conditions:
· Representatives from "The Economist" and "The Nation" duke it out over the merits of outsourcing tonight at the New York Society for Ethical Culture. Not literally, of course, though that'd probably be a hell of a lot more fun. [NYSEC]
· We were just thinking today that we haven't gotten our fix of good synth and electro-pop recently. Thank heaven for the Morr tour tonight at the Mercury Lounge! Check out Lali Puna, The Go Find, and Styrofoam, then throw away your Postal Service album shortly thereafter. [flavorpill]
· Put on your pinko-pants, hop on a rickity raft, and head on over to the Museum of TV and Radio tonight, where "Fidel Castro," a new documentary on, interestingly, Fidel Castro, previews at 6pm. [Upcoming.org]
· "Stop scratching the hell out of all of your CD's with your metrocard. This beautiful coke table has a really cool blue mirror top that stays nice and shiny no matter how many grams upon grams you cut up. Do your drugs in style." [Craigslist]
· The new Museum of Modern Art entrance fee is a whopping $20, which seems to be a giant "fuck you" to the more budget-conscious artfags. Something must be done! [Free MoMA]
· To the person who bid $1,150 to spend a day with Trishelle from The Real World: Las Vegas: we know how you can get some STDs for free. [eBay]
· Thanks to the internet, we can now watch militia men practice defending themselves from the forthcoming armageddon in live streaming video! [Live-Shot]
· They're filming Rent...in San Francisco. We initially thought, "Mais non!," but we're so tired of that show that we're not too sad to see it go elsewhere for a bit. [Out Of Focus]
How ungrateful can one man be? While Scarlett Johansson risks her burgeoning career just to be seen with sad Jared Leto, the man best known as Jordan Catalano is too busy checking his text messages to realize his own fucking luck. Classic breakup to quickly ensue.
Sorry Scarlett, He's Just Not Into You [Star]
It's official: you love to hate Jonathan Cheban, the Nobody best known for hanging out with trashy Somebodies! A reader weighs in on our favorite man about town:
· The aftermath of Star Jones' wedding to Al Reynolds has her bickering with her View cohosts, who broke sacred wedding rules regarding cameras and dress slacks. [Page Six]
· Could Cameron Diaz's recent scuffle with photogs outside of LA's Chateau Marmont be the end of her relationship with pop star Justin Timberlake? [Lowdown (3rd item)]
· Nicole Kidman and illegitmate baby factory Steven Bing have been spotted "canoodling." [R&M]
· Law & Order: Criminal Intent star Vincent D'Onofrio is back in the hospital for liberal misery. [Page Six]
· Is scary David Gest, ex-husband of scary Liza Minelli, funding former driver M'Hammed Soumayah's lawsuit against the diva? [R&M (2nd item)]
· The Royals finally catch on to Kabbalah. Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York, was spotted having a meeting with Rabbi Berg, the cultish mastermind behind the movement. [Scoop]
Oh come now, who hasn't R. Kelly violated? Today's word is that he's even infiltrated the temple of Yankeedom, allegedly doing slugger Gary Sheffield's wife on tape in a three-way taped ten years ago. We wouldn't care, really, if it weren't for the fact that Sheffield's wife, DeLeon, was then 18 (if even) and the Sheffields claim to be devoutly religious. Now a "minister" is trying to extort the Sheffields for $20k to keep the tape private. Frankly, we think that's a fair price to quiet the image of R. Kelly peeing on anything or anyone.
Sheff Shakedown [NYP]
New R. Kelly Sex Tape's Yankees Connection [Gothamist]
Good morning. Allow us to introduce you to Jonathan Cheban, who is, um, nobody, technically speaking, but has made a quasi-name for himself as the friend of such luminaries as Mischa Barton, the Olsens, and Lindsay Lohan. What does being a celebufriend entail? Take, for instance, a night at Marquee with Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie:
· The Nanny Diaries scribes Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus discuss their new book, Citizen Girl, about a twentysomething fembot attempting to make a name for herself in the corporate world. How creative. PS: Please start writing about nannies again. Barnes & Noble, 4 Astor Place. 7:30 p.m.
· Blogosphere co-inhabitants Gothamist brings you "Movable Hype" (get it?! If not, good for you) tonight at the Knitting Factory, featuring The Fresh, Sons of Sound, Snowden, Asobi Seksu, and Tarts of Pleasure. Expect the jobless blogging set to be out in all its pasty-white, socially-inept glory. [Gothamist]
· Bpitch Control head honcho Ellen Allien drops some techno/electro beats at APT tonight. Free vodka from 9-10pm to boot. [flavorpill]
For the low, low price of (actually, we're not sure, because the auction has a hidden reserve price), you can spend a day hanging out with Real World/Surreal Life reality show "personality" Trishelle, who's selling the pleasure of her company on eBay. As if the opportunity to plumb the depths of Trishelle's opinions on the recent election or the Fallujah offensive weren't enough, the winner's prize includes a five-star hotel on the Strip, limo service, and lunch at Dolce. The words "hot tub" and "discreet" aren't mentioned anywhere in the listing, so bidders should be aware that she's merely peddling her dignity; a day basking in the reflected glory of the reality show starlet will likely end with a firm handshake and a subtle request for some pocket change or a sandwich. Hurry, the bidding ends in less than nine hours!
· The first installment of Vanity Fair's oral history of Page Six is up for your perusal. [Vanity Fair]
· We'll take two of whatever Anna Nicole Smith was using to medicate herself at the American Music Awards. [ifilm]
· Tightly-panted Scottish rockers Franz Ferdinand defy gay stereotypes by fighting with one another. [NME]
· Al Reynolds has to endure Star Jones for at least 2 years if he wants any of her money. Smart prenup, indeed. [Page Six]
Jil Sander, the designer best know for her well-tailored, kinda-but-not-really-affordable careerish clothes, has left the company which bears her name after continual fighting with the Prada Group and its head, Patrizio Bertelli. Sander's most recent collection received solid reviews in Milan, but Sander apparently felt a lack of respect from her Italian parent company. No respect for powerful, unemaciated women in fashion? Who knew. Women's Wear Daily plans on running the story tomorrow, but we've got the fancy pants preview after the jump.
Sightings are sent in by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.
Free of the cast-iron muzzle that superflack Pat Kingsley used to prevent him from babbling about Scientology every time a writer put a tape recorder under his chin, Tom Cruise once again holds forth about his religion's finer points in this month's GQ. Remember those old werewolf movies, where the afflicted man would ask his friends to lock him in a room before the full moon appeared, begging them not to let him out no matter what he said? Now that his sister/fellow Scientologist LeAnne Devette is running the show, there's no one left to keep him locked up until the moon passes. Predictably, the unleashed Cruise attacks Scientology's mortal enemy, science psychiatry:
· Victoria Gotti seeds and reality tv "stars" John and Carmine Gotti get their asses beat for harassing a girl at a Long Island mall. [Page Six]
· The report from Star Jones' wedding to Al Reynolds: really ostentatious, really weird. [R&M]
· Sources say that rapper Old Dirty Bastard had been up for two days blowing rails before he dropped dead on Saturday, which would explain why he had been acting paranoid and chewing the inside of his cheeks. [Page Six]
· Perhaps to make up for offending good taste with their hideous Denise Richards cover, Playboy is planning a pictorial with an amputated model. [Lowdown]
· Everything is right in the world: actress Bijou Philips is back to attacking people in clubs. [Page Six]
· Lindsay Lohan fights stewardesses and delays a flight because she couldn't get on the plane. When you're reduced to pitching fits at the AA counter, you know your star is dropping. [Scoop]
