Special thanks to our elite cadre of advertisers, who keep our menorahs ablaze and our stockings stuffed. Interested? More info here.

· Tara Reid kisses some Page Six ass after they reported she was "completely cogent" in Miami. Reid (or her publicist) paid thanks with a lovely food basket. [Page Six]
· If popwhore Britney Spears is pregnant, then her fetus is in rough shape: the cheesy lady is spotted downing the sauce in Vegas. [R&M]
· Lindsay Lohan's rep claims that the starlet did not lose her purse, but merely a card case. We've all seen the cocaine-laced email claiming otherwise, and Lohan's pitbulls plan on suing. [Page Six]
· The Olsen twins sign a petition pledging to stop sweatshop abuse in... their overseas sweatshop. [NYDN]
· CNN's Anderson Cooper disses the hawk-evicting residents of 927 Fifth Avenue; one of those residents is his co-worker Paula Zahn. So sly, Andy. [Lowdown (last item)]

So maybe we're a few weeks early with our trumpeting of Kwanzaa (the holiday starts on December 26), but our favorite faux food company, Kraft, has their Kwanzaa menu suggestions available on their website. The good people at Kraft remind us that Kwanzaa is all about attaching "heritage" to stereotypes and, if you're anything like us, you'll be atwitter over the idea cooking up some butter beans, collard greens, and cornbread. We'd contemplate what Kraft suggests as holiday-appropriate after-dinner activities, but our court-ordered sensitivity training forbids it.
Kwanzaa Menu [Kraft Foods via Coppertone]

We can't tell you whether or not to see Ocean's Twelve, but judging from some of these review headlines, it appears to be one of those dark, existential dramas that inspires critics to pull out those 'dark' words we haven't used since we smoked cloves and kept a diary in high school:
·Pitt of Despair
·'Ocean's Twelve' provides ennui by the dozen
·Tedious 'Twelve'
Sounds heavy, man. Wait, it's a comedy?
Ocean's Twelve [WB]

Since the nasty eviction of a well-known hawks' nest from 927 Fifth Avenue, people have been crying out against the building's residents and Co-Op board for their cruel decision. Now we know that the board is headed by Richard Cohen (aka Mr. Paula Zahn), but you're hungry for more blood. So (because we live to serve) we've got some more resident names. We're only going to publish the phone number of the building's actual Co-Op board, but if you're feeling extra Sierra Club or just want to revisit some classic "Prince Albert in a can" humor, the contact information for most of the building's residents isn't too hard to find.

· It's the event of the year! Street artists re-paint "queer" BMX bikes in an attempt to de-queer them. You can't make this shit up. [Paper]
· We knew he was cuddly and stuff, but this seems a bit much: Jimmy Carter appears at a UES Barnes and Noble tonight to read from his latest book, which is about, er, sharing. [What's Up NYC]
· Dance punk: so hot even the Canadians are getting in on it. Can a Times expos be far behind? In the meanwhile, Toronto-based Controller.Controller do it up with ARE Weapons tonight at Rothko. [flavorpill]

Earlier, we posted two blind items for your perusal, and your answers are in:

When a hawks' nest was abruptly removed from its co-opted perch at 527 Fifth Avenue, animal lovers and city officials raised ethical questions and Mary Tyler Moore threw a hissy fit. In case you were wondering what sort of evil people would force hawk homelessness, it's none other than Paula Zahn and friends! Building residents include:

We just mentioned that nip-slipper Tara Reid was taking shots at Page Six in this month's interview with Stuff magazine, but she mentioned one unnamed female reporter in particular during her rant. When we think of rant-worthy gals at Page Six, obviously we think of Paula Froelich. We love to help pick a fight, so naturally we contacted Paula for comment:

· Tara Reid goes after Page Six, claiming that their reporters are evil. Not content to just stop talking, she then went on to claim that Lindsay Lohan is much more wild and, as such, Tara doesn't want to be dragged in "her shit." [R&M (2nd item)]
· SNL alum Tracy Morgan continues to get drunk and go topless. Most recently, he stripped down at the Coral Room. [Page Six]
· The Reebok Sports Club/NY is dealing with complaints of sexual activity in the men's locker rooms, saunas, and jacuzzis. Could there be Gays on the upper West Side?! [Lowdown]
· In a truly bizarre twist, Lindsay Lohan's mother takes to dancing on banquettes at Marquee. [Page Six]
· J.Lo doesn't deal well with drunk people in Sweden. [Scoop

Last night's Billboard Music Awards in Las Vegas was a rollicking-yet-practical celebration of the recording industry, where artistic achievement is measured by the only important criterion: commercial success. No different than any other second-tier awards show, the event was littered with Hollywood's B- and C-listers, whose endearing antics are dutifully reported by one of our operatives:

Why is it that, during what should be the happiest time of the year, evil media companies are trying to make their employees cry? As if Wenner Media's pithy paychecks weren't enough to send staffers on a self-mutilating binge, we're hearing a rumor that TRL-ready pretty boys Maroon 5 will be "performing" at the Wenner Media holiday party. And you thought your job was bad. Granted, this is just current buzz around the office (nothing's official yet), but don't you think the publisher of Rolling Stone and US Weekly could do a little better?

L. Ron Hubbard's army of elves (some of you might know them by their proper name, Scientologists) had to work their tiny hands to the bone, but their seasonal tribute to their leader is up again on Hollywood Boulevard. The reader who sent us these camera-phone shots raised an interesting question while pondering the Scientology Santa in the center of this cheery tableau, who was patiently waiting for photo-ops with passing tykes: "What kid is going to be out on Hollywood Blvd. at 10 p.m. in the pouring rain?" The kind that loves Christmas, silly!

Alright, we just might be stumped (or at least have to pretend to be) by today's blind items. So we turn to you, dear readers, to tell us what you know:

The shocking news has us scratching at our eyes: our patron saints, the golden Olsen twins, have fallen from grace. Horrifying as it may be, it seems that our little girls might not be so innocent as we originally thought, as they've wandered down the sweatshop path of Kathie Lee Gifford. Their fah-bulous clothing line, mary-kateandashley (sold at a Wal-Mart near you!), is assembled by none other than pregnant Bangladeshi women who don't get adequate health care or any sort of maternity leave. NYU students are gathering in Washington Square Park at 5:30 tonight for the typical undergraduate rally against this injustice and we encourage all Gawker readers to attend—after all, sweatshop abuse often leads to drug abuse. Save the Olsens before it's too late!
Olsens Targeted By Sweatshop Watchdog [People (sub. req'd.)]
How The Olsens Stole Christmas [Washington Square News]

Lost amid the hullabaloo about Pale Male, the hawk evicted from his rent-controlled Fifth Avenue aerie, are the real victims: Nora Ephron fans.

Oh my God, is New Year's Eve cancelled?

Nature lovers and treehuggers are outraged over the abrupt removal of a longstanding (and somewhat beloved) hawks' nest from the exterior of building at 5th Avenue and 74th street, as residents of the building apparently didn't love the droppings and carcasses occasionally left on their doorstep (so hard to negotiate in Louboutins, you know?). Now the birds (including the wildly popular Pale Male) are homeless, and building resident/aging actress Mary Tyler Moore is speaking out:

The Times is reporting that rapper Jay-Z will likely head Vivendi Universal's Def-Jam records division.

Sightings are sent in by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.