We've mentioned the Observer's rundown of which parties you should be drunkenly crashing this season, but the listing for Teen Vogue has had some repercussions. The Observer writes:

At the risk of turning this space into a Brunch with the Brainwashed, we note that the Kabbalah Centre is ponying up for a set of $2 million houses in Beverly Hills for the Berg family, the organization's Chief Bringers of the Light. We've expended a lot of words on skepticism about the Centre and its apparent profiteering, but in this case we'd like to express our admiration for their restraint. These are pretty modest digs for cult leaders. With all of the money they're bringing in, the Bergs could've gone for a David Geffen-style pleasuredome, with fifteen gold hot tubs, an Olympic-sized pool filled with magic, healing Kabbalah water, and a dinner bell that summons Madonna for an impromptu medley of her greatest hits. Join us in applauding their Beverly Hills asceticism.

A jew-oriented Google search becomes an issue of faith:

There's no clearer indication that your cult's influence is on the wane than when its merchandise winds up in the bargain bin at your local mall's potpourri-and-sweater-set emporium. We've seen this before, when we came across a basket full of "I Brake for L.Ron" trucker hats at Urban Outfitters two Christmases ago.

We just might be in love with 15 Minutes Magazine; if we were 55 and still lived with our mothers, we'd probably launch a similar site. Their columnists (at right) are kind of like Cindy Adams without the dead dog or the table at Le Cirque. Take, for example, their nightlife coverage, which is on the Bowery pulse:

If you haven't seen it by now, Madame Tussauds London wax museum gives the traditional nativity scene a celebuwhore twist.

· Al Pacino skips the Merchant of Venice afterparty, reportedly because he didn't want to talk to fellow guest, mob princess and reality star Victoria Gotti. Big mistake. Big. [R&M]
· Liza Minnelli can't get her stepmother to move out of her late father's home in Beverly Hills; apparently she's not in her usual mood and won't beat the woman until the leaves. [Page Six]
· A Montana man beats Warner Bros. to the punch and markets Chrismukkah cards, based on the mixed holiday featured on teen drama The O.C. [NYDN]
· Newlywed Star Jones is number one on PETA's worst dressed list; Cindy Crawford comes in second and Ashley Olsen scores 5th place. [Scoop
· Gentlemen, start your engines: PR hellcat Lizzie Grubman is single again! [Page Six]

· Just when you thought you'd seen it all, a Yoruban priest becomes a renowned producer and drops house beats worth braving the rain for. Osunlade does exactly that tonight at S.O.B.'s and you don't even need a batik shirt to get in. [flavorpill]
· Arizonian imports Calexico bring their eclectic, jazz-infused, not-really-definable rock to the Bowery Ballroom. [BB]
· Get your hipster Hanukkah on with the Jersey Jews, as Yo La Tengo kicks off their annual 8-night residency at Maxwell's in Hoboken. [Maxwell's]

AP reports: "Paris Hilton has been named one of the 'most fascinating people of 2004' by Barbara Walters. Walters will host a special on Wednesday, presenting the 10 most intriguing people of the year..."
Walters Names Hilton Fascinating [AP, Yahoo]

We missed designer Roberto Cavalli's preview gala for the Metropolitan Museum's "WILD: Fashion Untamed" thingie (our matching shredded velveteen Cavalli dresses were at the cleaners), and we're really kicking ourselves. How often is it that these things include a surprise performance from Destiny's Child? More importantly, how often do you get to see the confusion on the R&B singers' faces when no one cares that they're there? A reader reports:

Apartment Therapy takes a poll on objectional words used in Craigslist postings. Voting is now open and no, you can't write in "blumpkin."
Hot Or Not: Craigslist Words [Apartment Therapy via Curbed]

Oh, Fakey McFakerson. The smiley face is a nice touch, but isn't her middle name Morgan?
Earlier: Lindsay Lohan's Misplaced Purse: But Was It A Fendi?

Sunday night, when we should have been home watching HBO's The Wire, we attended we attended the Intrigue/Gotham party for the NYC premiere of The Merchant of Venice starring Al Pacino, Jeremy Irons, Joseph Fiennes, and Lynn Collins. Held at the newly-opened and painfully-hyped Aer Lounge (in, our favorite, the Meatpacking District), it appeared that most of the cast and crew were in attendance (you try fighting a key grip for a spot at the bar). It's through this celebuhaze that Andrew Krucoff and photographer Nikola Tamindzic offer a visual sampling of the scene. (And yes, pictured above is professional arm candy Jonathan Cheban chatting up Kelly Osbourne.)

One last dash of Lindsay Lohan—because if we didn't address this nicely-hidden blurb, we wouldn't sleep at night:

· More debate on the state of Lindsay Lohan's live vocals on yesterday's Good Morning America appearance: Lohan reps say she used extra backing because it was "rock and roll." Those in attendance say the genre sounded more like dying babies. [Page Six]
· The Olsen twins host hosted a private party for a select group of fans at Dylan's Candy Bar on Saturday. Both girls reportedly went to town on the treats, but probably didn't indulge in those chocolate-covered dreidels. [Lowdown (2nd item)]
· Meanwhile, Mary-Kate Olsen has been spotted (canoodling) with model Karl Lindeman. She was just recently with Ali Fatourechi, so we're wondering if our little girl might be going down the path of the Paris. [Page Six]
· Designer Philippe Starck hires dwarfs to dress as gnomes and entertain guests during a party at his Icon hotel in Miami. Awkward much? [R&M (2nd item)]
· Socialskanks Paris and Nicky Hilton are reportedly in negotiations to promote an Australian line of underwear called Antz Pantz. We're certain these panties will be dripping with irony. [Scoop]

When he's not busy threatening America's youth to vote, rapper-cum-activist P. Diddy is getting private tours of the White House led by none other than our fearless leader and his first lady. Page Six has snippets of what must've been priceless dialogue, but we can guess what the entire conversation was like:

We have ears everywhere (we're terribly disfigured, did we mention that?). Overheard in the makeup room, Alexander director Oliver Stone bares his soul:

· Don't go saying the Jews never did anything for you: the hipster Hebrews over at Heeb Magazine throw a Liquor and Latkes party tonight at Lit, 9pm. Best of all, you get a dollar off at the door if you RSVP. Oh, the irony. [Heeb]
· Why throw away your rent money to by some Helmut Lang shit at full price when you can, um, throw away your rent money to buy some Helmut Lang shit that's heavily discounted? Sale goes all day at 80 Greene Street.
· A veritable culture orgy over at Canal Room tonight: Detroit hippity-hop soulsters Platinum Pied Pipers join London funkster Dego for the Giant Step Holiday Bash. [GiantStep]

· "Mom started bawling, Dad got up and demanded my credit cards and was going to cut off my trust fund. I started crying saying that he couldn't do that since Grandma set it up before I was born. He said he could do whatever he wanted since he's a lawyer. I ran screaming into my room. This was all before the turkey was cut." God, we hope this blog is for real. [PradaPrincess]
· We love the Scissor Sisters and, if we were gay, we'd be super happy if this were lead singer Jake Shears' Big Muscle profile. 'Cause we're pretty sure it is. [BigMuscle]
· Weirdest headline that we don't quite get: "Lycos Europe Denies Attack On Zombie Army." [CNET]
· There's nothing quite as cute as dressing your little offspring in a hand-knit gimp mask. [Popdizzy]

It's pricey, trendy, and rife with ready-made puns (all of which are too cheap, even for us). It s also dead on the inside and will steal your soul if you look directly at it. Few neighborhoods have undergone the type of unnatural beautification of the Meatpacking District, so horrific and faux that it would make Tara Reid's nipple blush. Join Gawker's Andrew Krucoff and photographer Nikola Tamindzic in a photo walking tour of a Friday night in the Meatpacking District, where they soak in the Gaslight and let everyone else show us how it all hangs it out.