· Various people whom former mananger and current Paramount chief Brad Grey has helped make incredibly rich (Brad Pitt, Adam Sandler, HBO), claim that Vanity Fair's big story on the Anthony Pellicano investigation is full of inaccuracies and fabrications. And Grey's Paramount flack isn't happy (shocker!) either: "Specific allegations and statements made by unnamed sources about Brad Grey in Vanity Fair's piece on Anthony Pellicano are total fabrications." [Variety]
· THR finds the most unflattering picture possible to illustrate their story on Jon Favreau's hiring by Marvel Studio to develop and direct an adaptation of Iron Man. Seriously, that pic is just plain mean. [THR]
· Lindsay Lohan signs up for her next opportunity to be accused of sleeping with a smarmy older guy, joining Adrien Brody in the cast of the romantic comedy Speechless. Go ahead and try and say "Brohan" to yourself without inducing a seizure, we dare you. [Variety]
· Fox makes pre-upfronts pick-ups of comedy 'Til Death and drama Vanished, while NBC renews its committment to being Dick Wolf's bitch by bringing back all three Law & Order series. [THR]
· The buzz-killing plagiarism scandal over the novel How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life has DreamWorks slowly backing away from the suddenly radioactive material it had planned to adapt. [Variety]

By way of a public service announcement to our readers at Paramount who may not have checked their e-mail yet, we're happy to pass along this bulletin from late yesterday afternoon warning them of some impending effects work on the lot:

Today's NY Times takes a look at Paramount's negotiations to upgrade its culinary offerings by allowing the company behind industry power-eatery The Grill to set up shop inside the walls of its Melrose lot. While some fear that the move might potentially compromise the old-school commissary charm of on-the-lot dining (i.e., watching your favorite executives eat mediocre food in bland surroundings), others think that the brand might create some heat at the Mount:

Today's NY Times nudges the Anthony Pellicano Wiretapping Trial of the Century incrementally closer to embattled Paramount emperor Brad Grey's doorstep, reporting that when the studio chief told the FBI that he was "casually acquainted" with the "colorful" Pellicano, he probably meant something slightly cozier than just nodding a "What's up?" to the detective across the room at a cocktail party:

Upon seeing John Doe's face featured on the memo announcing Paramount's new ID cards, embattled studio chief Brad Grey called for his immediate dismissal, fearing that the ubiquity of his image on the Melrose lot might make the handsome—if slightly nondescript—employee yet another candidate to replace him.

Just as Paramount emperor Brad Grey has been forced to defend embattled lieutenant Gail Berman from rumors that her job was in jeopardy following the studio's acquisition of DreamWorks, skeletal Viacom executive presence Sumner Redstone risked shattering several metacarpals by publicly clapping Grey on the shoulder and offering a "That's my boy!" vote of confidence amidst widespread speculation that Grey may be replaced by new hire Stacey Snider should the studio chief be further ensnared in the Anthony Pellicano Wiretapping Trial of the Century. Redstone assures the LAT:

Today's LAT reports that game of contractual chicken between jilted Universal, who still had another 10 months or so left on former studio head Stacey Snider's deal, and Paramount, who recently hired her away to run newly acquired DreamWorks, may be ending today:

Today's NY Times again draws embattled Paramount emperor Brad Grey into the Anthony Pellicano Wiretapping Trial of the Century, reporting that the "first direct evidence" of how the eavesdroppingest PI in Hollywood used his illicitly gained information to benefit his clients has been introduced in the case—in this instance, how wiretapped conversations between screenwriter Bo Zenga and his lawyer may have helped Grey's attorney defend against Zenga's suit. (We're not even going to bother to explain, especially when the Times so helpfully put together this handsome chart.)

So pervasive is the sense of unease that still lingers on Paramount's Melrose lot that a brief phone outage early yesterday evening prompted e-mails from our operatives speculating that the service interruption was caused by an alien takeover, or, perhaps even more amusingly, studio head Brad Grey's failure to pay the phone bill. (We've heard he's a micromanager, but that's ridiculous—it's far more likely he laid off the guy in charge of paying the bill.) Things seem to be in working order this morning (at least the DreamWorks robot who replaced the previous automated Paramount operator was answering), so either the alien putsch went smoothly after that initial telecommunications hiccup, or someone finally settled up the phone account. Everyone can return to their cubicles today with the exact same worries they had yesterday morning.

Industry watchers critical of Paramount emperor Brad Grey's early moves and who feared that the new chief had no plan beyond "1. Buy another studio. 2. Fire people. 3. Repeat as necessary." will be pleasantly surprised by the "Blueprint for Grey's Paramount" released today via the studio's internal newsletter, which lists six "collective goals" for his fledgling empire. Finally, his own manifesto! But before we get to The Blueprint, we'd like to point out what Grey feels is the truly crucial part of working in this crazy business:

As expected, Paramount has sold the DreamWorks film library to a group headed by billionaire George Soros for $900 million, thus greatly defraying the cost of Paramount emperor Brad Grey's early Christmas gift to himself. We can't be bothered to read the press release announcing the boring details of the sale, but because we're committed to recreating the experience of being employed by Viacom for our readers, we're happy to pass along CEO Tom Freston's internal e-mail about the deal. It's just like being on the Melrose lot and wondering if there's any way your coroporate overlords can transition seemingly good news into a fresh round of layoffs!

In her new column, the LA Weekly's Nikki Finke generously offers to help jog the memory of amnesiac Paramount emperor Brad Grey, who recently told the NY Times that he was only "casually acquainted" with Wiretapping Trial of the Century subject Anthony Pellicano, by reminding him about a project the two men were involved with in the past:

It should be a pretty fun day over at the New Paramount (motto: "Maintaining a Scandal-to-Release Ratio of 3:1 Since Early 2005"), where an examination of studio boss Brad Grey's connections to illegal wiretapper Anthony Pellicano (who was hired by Grey's Scary Hollywood Lawyer, Bert Fields) landed on page one of the NY Times today, the Hollywood equivalent of arriving to work on Monday morning and finding one's office full of dead hookers. The Times landed an interview with Linda Doucett, the Garry Shandling ex who found herself a victim of Pellicano wiretapping while caught in the middle of Shandling and Grey's ugly legal battle following the break-up of their professional partnership back in Grey's relatively carefree managing days. Doucett explains her cooperation with the NYT as an opportunity for the "little people" to stand up to better-funded and more famous Hollywood bullies. (And, apparently, to land a picture of her horse in the paper.) She tells the Times:

Our operatives were apparently too busy to deliver Brad Grey's interoffice e-mail about the plucking of Stacey Snider from Universal's grasp to us in the wildly popular monkeygram format, but here it is in its original, plain-text, simian-free incarnation:

Based on this morning's published reports about Stacey Snider's choice to leave Universal to become co-chair of DreamWorks, we think we have a pretty good idea of how Snider spent her agonizing weekend mulling the career decision demanded by Uni boss Ron Meyer before Monday. After a reflective, barefoot stroll on the beach in an oversized "Property of Universal Pictures" sweatshirt and much meaningful staring into the placid ocean, Snider returned home to sit in front of her vanity, alternating her gaze between the soft-focus picture of current beau Meyer tacked to her mirror and a gaudily framed photo of brawny Paramount emperor Brad Grey and DreamWorks hunk Steven Spielberg showing off their varsity football jackets, her wistful sighs occasionally drowning out the ticks of the noisy grandfather clock counting off the seconds until the arrival of her deadline. Then, of course, the cell phone rang and her lawyer let her know that Paramount played ball on her salary (apparently still a pay cut, but a reported $2.5-3 million base is nothing to sneeze at), and all barriers to leaping into Spielberg's big, strong arms were suddenly gone. Reports the LAT:

[We apologize in advance for our shaky, ultra-low budget digicam work. If motion sickness starts to set in, you can view the message here.]

SniderWatch Update: Will Stacey Snider stay at Universal or leave to head DreamWorks? Var says that the "situation is expected to be resolved soon, possibly before next week," which gives Brad Grey only about two days to draw up a list of people to lay off in celebration of Snider's arrival if she signs on. [Variety]
Chris Weitz will adapt Neil Strauss' book about pickup artists, The Game, for Columbia. If you don't know what "neg" or "FMAC" mean, you're just another AFC. OK, fine. We read the damn book and wound up getting drinks thrown in our face for using two-year-old techniques, and we're a little bitter. [THR]
WGA interim president David Young fires longtime spokeswoman Cheryl Rhoden, who then released the following statement (really): "I love writers. For going on 20 years, it has been my honor to work on their behalf. For myself, I'm going to take some time off to smell the horses." We fear that this some kind of secret code signalling other spokespeople to rise up and burn down the WGA headquarters in retaliation. All Guild employees should be on alert through the end of business today. [Variety]
· A judge delays a decision that would shut down BlackBerry service, putting off the armageddon that a sudden portable e-mail blackout would inflict on the entertainment industry. [THR]
VH-1 is forming a metal band with washed-up rockers like Ted Nugent and Sebastian Bach for SuperGroup, a show that sounds like such a trainwreck that it'll be in our TiVo wishlist before we finish typing this sentence. If they really want our undying love, they'll bring back Bands on the Run. [Variety]

Today's LAT reports that Universal chair Stacey Snider, whose contract with the studio expires at the end of the year, has told boss Ron Meyer that she wants to play the field before possibly re-committing to him, and has given her lawyers the go-ahead to chat with Paramount about a new job. According to the Times, however, the job in question is not embattled, slow-starting president Gail Berman's (as pretty much everyone in the entertainment industry has been whispering for weeks now), but one to run DreamWorks. Paramount Emperor Brad Grey wouldn't discuss whether or not he's hot for Snider, but publicly defended Berman's job security:

According to BoingBoing, Fark's Drew Curtis received a particularly hostile e-mail in response to a Fark comment thread about yesterday's Life & Style Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes break-up story (which was, of course, immediately denied by Team Cruise). Curtis noted that the sender's IP address belongs to Paramount Studios, leading him to hypothesize that the anonymous, grammatically innovative e-mailer was Cruise himself. The e-mail:

· Black Wednesday becomes Blacker Tuesday: 109 of the 129 employees in Paramount's domestic distribution department were fired to make room for a leaner, meaner team mostly comprised of DreamWorks staff. Somewhere on the Melrose lot, Emperor Grey shrugs off the executions by imagining all the money Steven Spielberg might one day make for him. [Variety]
· ESPN/ABC Sports trades sportscaster Al Michaels to NBC for an animated, lucky rabbit. Seriously. [THR]
· Producer Bob Yari loses an appeal to the Academy for a producer credit on Crash, which will keep him off the podium should our worst nightmares be realized and the movie win Best Picture. [Variety]
· In perhaps today's most inspiring trade paper tale of redemption, the guys who wrote Elektra have overcome that tragedy to continue to work in Hollywood. [Variety]
· Jennifer Beals joins the cast of The Grudge 2, leading to much rejoicing at Defamer HQ. We loves us some Beals. [THR]
· Holy fucking shit: Someone actually took the $100K and got the Pink Panther surgery. [Variety]